All seemed to be going well, he was settling in well in the Rainforest. The climate was great and the lions there were nice so far. But having met only a very few of them he had yet a lot to get to know. But not being someone to force others to hang out with him, he would leave that to go through naturally. Or if the chance emerged.

But there was a hole in his heart, there was someone he loved that had been missing and he wanted to see again. His mother. Their relationship on his eyes didn't have a good outcome the last time they talked. And if one asked him, he did regret not working more on their relationship. He didn't know if @Aarani would ever forgive him. As he had see himself as a bad son to her. And he did want to fix it, to bring the broken bond to life again. He walked around with his mind full of fog.

code by Cloudy

The days were long and meaningless. Aarani had never been without purpose until recently, but with her children all grown enough to fend for themselves, she was at quite a loss. She didn't know what to do with herself and was often napping or simply wandering alone. It had taken quite a toll on her when she'd realized she had no friends, and the petite lioness felt herself too old to go out and make more. She chose to be alone instead. It was safer that way.

Rani moved quietly through the foliage on her way to the water's edge, intent on taking a bath and enjoy some quiet time. She moved into the water with a soft sigh and lowered her muzzle to drink, unaware of her son nearby.

Foggy brain stopped him from paying any attention to the environment or where he was going. But he didn't fight it off, he knew this would be best than keeping these thoughts locked, he had to let them free so he wouldn't feel the poison later, poison from the self degradation he was delivering toward his own life and worth. A worth he didn't saw. And he had yet to learn that whatever one did, it didn't mean he would be able to make everyone happy, something he'd been trying and never thinking on how that would affect his own wellbeing. Would he be able to fix the ties with his mother? With his blood family? What could a foolish boy do? Someone who was really just beginning to understand the life pf am adult, how would he be able to fix a relationship? He knew he made many things wrong but lacked the skill to get them solutions.

He would allow himself to approach to a river, broad and apparently calm to walk by. Perhaps a bath would help him out, to let the thoughts flow with the water. But as he approached a very familiar scent came to his nostrils, and soon he felt his heart sink like a rock in water. Fear and anxiety broke through his veins. He froze as he could feel his eyes get wet from long suppressed tears. He didn't move beside his eyes lurking around frenetically to find the owner of the smell one he would recognize even blind. @Aarani

code by Cloudy

Aarani didn't song anymore, not really. She only hummed the occasional tune, though it was difficult for her not to revert back to the lullabies she had sung to her children when they were young. The days then had been harder, but they had been better.

Today she hummed softly as she strolled along in the water, walking towards the deeper end in order to fully submerge herself. A lady can't get clean without getting soaked, unfortunately, so it was a good thing Aarani enjoyed the occasional swim.

She remained unaware of @Ivaan, unable to smell much over the water as she ducked under the surface.

He didn't know what to do, should he leave? Would his presence bother her? Would she hate him? And he didn't put blame if she did, he saw himself as the worst son and knowing she didn't deserve such thing he didn't think he could even look at her eyes, shame on him. He could heat his heart loud underneath his skin, but still without seeing her, but the scent, subtle but impossible not to know who's it came from. He lurked with his gaze, wondering how close she might be .

There is when he saw her, not too far but not too close. Taking a bath. Would this be the worst moment to approach and interrupt her peace time. But he did swim closet but quiet but stopping at a good distance. Saying nothing just wanting a quite time with her. @Aarani

code by Cloudy

Aarani paused when she heard someone else slipping into the water. She was nervous that whoever it was hadn't said anything, but as she turned to face whoever it was, she was met with an unexpected face. The lioness blinked in surprise to see her son standing there quietly. He said nothing and Aarani wasn't sure if she was supposed to say anything herself. It was an awkward situation, but she supposed as the adult, it was up to her to initiate things. "Hello, @Ivaan. You look well." Well enough, she supposed, although he smelled heavily of the man she did not like. She wasn't surprised. Zoticus was who he had chosen, after all.

What should he say? What should he do? Until now he'd been thinking he would be the last lion his mother would ever want to see, unsure of how she would react, what would she do to him. But more than afraid of his own well being, he feared what could happen to her, if him being here would bring her any pain or bother. His ears pined, hiding on his almost full grown mane, ears looking away in shame, shame on him and how he had allowed his relationships with his mother get to this.

"H...hello mom..." A word he wasn't sure if he had the right to use still, not after how bad of a son he'd been. Tears threatening with coming down his cheeks. He felt so bad, so awful. All he's life hdd been so confusing, so lost. And without knowing he had hurted her, hurted Sana and even Jiera. He had hurted everyone or that was he had thought. "How had you been?..." @Aarani

code by Cloudy

Aarani did her best not to let the surprise cross her face. Mom? Her ears flicked on her head as she struggled to navigate the situation. The boy looked like he was on the verge of tears, but why? Wasn't he happy with his life? She frowned, clearly upset that he seemed so upset. The lioness sighed softly, letting her attention drift to the waters before finally moving towards him to nudge his muzzle with her own. "What's the matter, Ivaan?" She didn't know how she could help, but.. well, she'd try.

As for how she was? Aarani had learned not to be honest. The truth was often too much for others to handle. "I've been fine. Managing." Life wasn't easy being an old woman and being a rogue, but she was alright for now.

@Ivaan

"What's the matter, Ivaan?" He shallowed hard as he felt the words fade right on his throat, making him unable to speak as quick as he wanted to. Be a man and answer her. He told himself in his thoughts. Eyes of teal and green remained fixed on his mother's form, reflecting affliction and fear. Thick, embracing fear. Fear at who? Afraid of the situation more likely. He had never been somone of confrontation, of wanting to be right into a problem. He always ended up running, going away instead of fighting or facing the issues.

"I...wanted to apologizemom.." He began, still finding it hard to think on what to say. "For being the worst son in the entire world...i failed you...Sana and everyone...im sorry...I know nothing will excuse my actions nor i am looking to do that. But, I want you to know i am sorry...I just dont know what the heck is wrong with me..i just cant find myself nor i never did...I..." Words drowned again, this time as tears began to crawl out of his eyes. @Aarani

//Sorry for the wait i suck

code by Cloudy

To say she didn't want some sort of apology would have been a lie, but she certainly didn't want to see her son so horribly upset about it. If nothing else, it was evidence he still cared for her even if he had chosen to stay with Zoticus. That was.. nice, she guessed, but not a magical fix.

"You're not the worst son in the world, Ivaan." She frowned. "And you haven't failed anyone. Not me, not Sana." The lioness wasn't even sure what he was referring to, but it was time she was honest with him.

"Ivaan," she said softly. "Zoticus and I have never gotten along, but if he is the father figure you need, I.. support you. I'm only sorry that your real father failed you as much as he did." She looked to the ground, shuffling her paws. "He was around so much when you were young, and then.." He broke his promise. "Well, anyway. Don't be sorry for loving who you love. I'll learn to deal with it, okay? I will." She just hoped it wasn't a lie. "I love you and I always will. You will always be my son, regardless of who else is in your life." Rani just wished it was Vine instead.

"What do you need from me, @Ivaan? How can I make this right?"