faevyre. ( slightly backdated since I was on a mini-absence -- set right after this thread! )

The leaden weight of being her last rolls nervously in the pit of her chest. She prays with every ounce of her being that Talisa hadn't noticed her absence -- both so that she wouldn't have to answer questions about it, and in some part to also give in to the vicious part of herself that knows she's not important enough to be noticed in such an important moment. Sometimes, it's easier to give in than to fight it.

She pads up to the den, grateful that her memory hadn't faltered. The fur-swaddled babe whose scruff she holds in her jaws still sleeps for now, his body terrifyingly still. She chuffs as she approaches, signaling her proximity and arrival. She doesn't wait for an answer, though, choosing to instead gently nudge her way in. Her worry is too thunderous in her chest for her to wait.

I think this was mine XD but I had just forgotten about it

Unfortunately for the mauve goddess, Talisa had recognized that @Faevyre had left the birth in quite a hurry. A moment that she wished to bring up eventually but for now had brushed it off as though the woman had somewhere else she needed to be. After all, Vermeda wasn't the woman's home (that'd make Talisa all too happy and she, sadly, was beginning to think that she didn't have the best luck sometimes) and thus Fae would have other places to be. You're always welcome in, she called once she heard the chuffs and smelled that taunting scent of hers. Four children bathed in slumber by her side.

manip & table code by k'sariya

faevyre.Talisa's voice rises back up, causing her heart to beat a little faster in her chest. You're always welcome in. Sune, she's nervous. Does she know? Did she notice? Is she really always welcome? After taking a moment to center herself, Faevyre tucks herself down into the den, the babe held gently in her jaws. She takes a second to let her eyes adjust to the dim, so she doesn't step on anything.

She holds down the soft gasp as she sees the littles ones for the first time. She'd caught a glance before, but... well, you know. Her heart swims in the wound-up cavern of her chest. Wow.

But she remembers why she's here, and so she lowers the babe to her paws briefly. She doesn't yet nestle Zayn with the rest, not wanting to be presumptuous. "Talisa, I spoke with Nymeria," she says softly, quickly. "The Hollows found this babe freezing nearly to death up north. He's... not in good shape. He's too young. And he's hungry." she says, voice soft and grim and yet, urgent. It's, awkward, to just kind of roll up and ask a friend if you can stick a baby at their belly, but that awkwardness is drowned out by Faevyre's urgency to get the child help. "May I?" she asks, nodding to the row of cubs, gently cradling the fur-swaddled babe in against her foreleg.

To be fair, Talisa was not quite sure what she expected to come of @Faevyre's arrival. She had been overwhelmed at the time she had given birth to really take to chasing after the mauve woman, but she had noticed that she hadn't stuck around. It was a brief realization but given all that had been going on she hadn't had much of a chance to really stew in the reasons behind her abrupt dismissal.

Just like then she is quickly swarmed with odd feelings as the woman wanders into the den and has a babe clinging to life. Brows furrowed with a certain kind of uncomfortable appearance, feeling the unsteady thrum of a heartbeat. Nymeria must have intercepted this just a moment ago and had ushered them along to her. Of course. Bring him in, snuggle him close. Talisa could do the extra work of licking at him to encourage him to drink and find himself some sustenance. She wasn't sure how well drinking from a not-mother was but imagined that it wouldn't harm him any. At least, she hoped not. It's a shame when a mother leaves a child, especially one so young that needed as much help and assistance as they did in the first several months.

manip & table code by k'sariya

faevyre.Faevyre tucks him close, leaning in as she does so, near enough to feel the gentle warmth of life thrumming from Talisa and her cubs. She releases Zayn tenderly, feeling him slump softly to the ground against the other cubs. Her nose nudges him softly toward his last hope, swiping a tongue over the back of his head until he gathers the strength to begin suckling.

Relief washes through her. Large skull lingers there for a moment, just letting the relief ripple over her, soaking in the soft pulse of life here in this tiny corner of the world. She feels connected, grounded by the reminder. Across the land, across all lands, tiny creatures with fluttering hearts and infinite potential for life curl against their mothers' breast. It's spiritual, that moment of clarity, the unbroken thread that suddenly connects her to the pulse of the world around them. It's but a moment, fleeting and beautiful, and then it fades away.

She opens her eyes, not realizing that she'd closed them, and though she'd lingered for but a second near the woman's belly and cubs, it's a notable pause. Gently, she pulls away, ears twitching at Talisa's words.

After a moment: "It is," she breathes quietly, a mournful twinge in her tones, both for the thought of the abandoned child and reflection of her fleeting connection -- the circle of life born and gained to life troubled and lost. She blinks, shakes her head. "I hope that she didn't mean to. I hope she's safe, too."

It's easy to assume the child was abandoned, but the gentleness that blooms in Faevyre's chest is hard to imagine gone. She puts herself into the mother's paws, and at the same time, projects the own motherly feeling in her breast naively onto others. Even though she'd been raised by a lioness without that feeling, she still assumes that it was there somewhere. That they all have it, that there's good in the world that would never press a mother to abandon her child intentionally.

The lioness wished that she could have the same trust in a mother but this was not the first child that had been brought to the Brook that had been abandoned by its parents. It most certainly would not be the last and she was thankful that she was the first lioness that was thought of when it came to a child in need. The fact that she had only just given birth certainly helped in this situation so as the child was led to feed, she turned her attention to @Faevyre and gave a curt nod.

Being raised in a family that was as close knit as it was, where abandoning anyone was unimaginable, she couldn't understand why anyone would leave him. So she just licked at one of her own's babies fur absently before ushering forth a desire for Fae. If you wanna laid down, with your side facing the entrance -- it'll help the cubs get warm enough to snooze after their meal. It was a trick that she and her partners had come up with not so long ago that seemed to work like a charm. It blocked out whatever chill of wind came flooding in as well any light that threatened to poke at their surroundings. Not only that, but it eased Talisa to know that someone she cared for was near and not going anywhere.

manip & table code by k'sariya

faevyre.A suggestion brims forth, and Faevyre nods. She readjusts, her movements made awkward by her overly-careful maneuvers around the precious cubs, making sure she doesn't disturb them the best she can. She allows her large form to shield the entrance as suggested, her belly pressed against the back of the young ones while they eat.

She watches, eyes adjusting to the dim as her figure darkens the den. Awe flickers through her. "They're beautiful," she breathes, a smile curled softly across her lips. She glances up to Talisa, fire-rimmed orbs searching the woman's star-streaked features. "What's... what's it like? To carry them, to... have them?" Faevyre knows it's not all daisies and roses. But she's enchanted by it nonetheless, driven by the instinct that's driven her since she was small.

With softened eyes she watched as the woman begins to carefully maneuver herself within the den. Talisa had to expand a couple times in order to be able to fit both Morrigan and Farrow in, as well as small children that could at least be present until they were a year old. By then, it was a mighty fine fit and a little tight but it was homey. Though, she couldn't deny that it was nice having @Faevyre within the den and it certainly didn't help that Talisa was rather fond of her in a way that made her wish that the woman was another.

The question that came was one that she was familiar with but for it to come for her lips, it felt like a new one. Thank you. It's a wonderful experience to have, but I can't say it's easy for everyone. Perhaps it was the fact that she had looked forward to the day that she would be pregnant and become a mother that she knew all of what to expect. That she was prepared to take whatever pain and hardship came with being a mother that none of it seemed to bother her. When I was pregnant, I could every now and then feel them push against my stomach. I swear I could hear their heartbeats in the silence of the den. She laughed and shook her head, Too often did I dream about them.

The journey of birth is a long one. Part of why near the due date of these cuties I walked around a lot in Vermeda to try and exercise them out. She had been way too impatient at that point and was just ready to meet them and get it over with. Wanting nothing more than to snuggle her cuties over and over again until they were old enough that they wanted nothing to do with her.

manip & table code by k'sariya

faevyre.The warmth curls around them with the chill blocked, smoldering in the small space. Faevyre feels her heartbeat begin to slow, melting away the nervousness of returning here. It's different this time, being on the inside rather than forcing herself to remain on the out. It helps.

She listens to every word, a smile resting on her lips. Quietly, she imagines Talisa's words, puts herself into them and imagines the unimaginable. Faevyre laughs softly at the mention of walks, remembering the one that they'd gone on.

"You're a great mother," she chuckles to the Vermedan woman. "I'm sure they were excited to meet you too." She spots one of the little ones detach, finished with their meal, and leans down to give them an affectionate lick. Fleetingly, she thinks of Farrow, of that moment so long ago in the forest, not knowing that the wife he spoke of was Talisa. It's funny, how connected things are, and how they drew her back to here.

She purses her lips, frowns softly to herself as she thinks about how frivolous the exchange had been. It was innocent, light. Faevyre thinks of the storm broiling within her the last time she'd been here, the heaviness that's lurked inside of her since that night. It rears its head, again and again. She thinks of the children growing, worries for their safety and for the safety of all of the rest. She thinks of the turmoil of the Rainforest, the lions who had died there. She softly sighs, shakes her head.

"Ever since we had to leave our last home," she confides, words quiet in the darkness, "I've felt... conflicted. Like I don't know why I'm here." A pause. "And... seeing the chaos, the violence... It sometimes feels like I don't know what Sune wants from me. Is it a sign that I'm not supposed to be here? That I don't belong?" She shakes her head again. She fleetingly thinks that maybe it's a sign that she's supposed to make things right, but the monumental nature of that task is far beyond her. She's just one lion, with no power and nothing to her name. It's beyond her, and it's conceited to think that such a task would fall to a nobody.

While unexpected and surprising, she is not bothered by the woman's questions and concerns. Instead it helps to lull her into a space separate from that of the silence in the den. The drawing quiet of the children suckling that sometimes makes her space out and have rather darker thoughts than she should. Thank you. Fae. It's... nice to hear. Even though there were plenty of folks that would be ready to tell her in a heartbeat if she said she didn't think she was, Talisa could not bear to share her doubts when they arose. Desperate to cling to her own troubles in lieu of not weighing anyone else down. I can't speak for Sune and what they might have intended for you here, but it's alright to feel conflicted and uncertain. There was nothing wrong with feeling the way she felt. She was allowed to feel everything and to not feel guilty for feeling them. I'm not sure that my experiences will help but whenever I feel disconnected from Maua, I take a long walk somewhere. I put a destination in my mind and I don't stop for anything until I am there. For the sake of the two women there, Talisa feels it is only fair to be honest. Maua has shaken my faith lately, too. I tried so hard in the beginning when they lifted the fog and allowed a flood of newcomers to come into Amaryllis. A place that had thrived for years, generations, with the same folks. One that now sees more violence and hate than it has in so long. I am grateful for many that I have met, including you of course, but a good friend of my family was killed. My cousin, forced to kill another in defense of that friend. It's changing all of us. And Talisa couldn't begin to understand if it was good or bad but she had her suspicions that it was bad.

manip & table code by k'sariya