set a few hours after this

after getting @Asteria fed and giving her time to rest the food coma away, saga roused her and asked that they head off. she was eager to find @Nero as soon as possible - and perhaps to speak with @Bhaskar about how... busy they all were. about why the little black cub was so hungry when she stepped upon scillan soil. she's safe enough, now, carefully tucked into the pride with saga's watchful gaze. she may be getting rounder by the day but pregnant or not, she would move heaven and hell to protect those that were hers - and whether asteria decides she does want a mother or simply a protector, she falls into that category quite firmly, now.

"do you want us to call the group or would you rather us be quiet about it?" saga presses gently as she comes to a halt within the rainforest, tail curling and uncurling absently as she sniffs around in an attempt to catch nero's scent. she pointedly tries to ignore the memories that press up being back here ( her, bloodied and broken in more than one way, curled up against claw to sleep away the hurt ). she's never been a fan of tightly wound vegetation, of trees and canopies and so much greenery and after her last two visits here, she's pretty sure that won't change.

table by ferus & lineart by eerien00dle

she felt much like she was walking to her own execution.

the young cub sensed that @Saga was less than pleased with some of the things she had said, and she worried immensely that some of her friends would be upset, too. asteria was, quite simply, a difficult cub to track down. she had done as she pleased and gone where she had wished - it was not bhaskar's fault, or ryuu's, or any of them - that she had not kept herself well fed.

her paws dragged despite her full belly (the red meat had been a taste of heaven, truly) and she spent much of the trek fighting the familiar black wave. it would do no good to dissolve in to a quivering puddle, now, no matter how scared she was.

all but shaking by the time they reached the jungle (which she took comfort in, usually, for it's shadows hid her well) asteria simply shook her head. "i.. i don't know. i should just... maybe i should see if @Nero comes?" so uncertain, so fluttery, a little leaf caught on a fall breeze.

but she drew in a breath and steadied herself before she loosed a call for her friend and hoped he did not hate so much that he would not come. and hoped, too, that he was still alive, that he had found help, and that he was okay.

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The desperate call came and woke him from his mid-day nap. The thick shade of the jungle canopy shielded him during the harsh days of constant august sunlight. He recognized the soft chuff to be that of @Asteria, but he was unsure if it was directed towards him or somebody else. Either way, Bhaskar had to know.

But the onyx babe wasn't alone. The bright pale pelt of a much bigger figure stuck out against the background like a sore thumb. A brow quirked in mild surprise and curiosity. As the gargantuan male neared the two he immediately recognized @Saga. Her help at the challenge had been unexpected and he was thankful whenever he looked back. Stopping in front of the two, his dull eyes glanced from the adult to the cub. "Asteria?" He greeted and half questioned. "Is everything okay?" What is the Sigrun doing here? A part of him worried about the dark girl's well-being, picturing the worst had happened and she had been claimed... by Saga or anyone else. Another part of him was agitated with their location being revealed so whimsically. Was it time for the group to move? But where would they go?

Returning to the jungle was a miserable experience, but it was familiar and that was all he craved. Jewel, bless her heart, had been able to soothe him emotionally for now and offer him so food to fill his belly. He didn't want to keep running to her when things got tough, but at the end of the day, Nero was still a child in need.

He limped his way through his former home, wondering if he'd bump into anyone to have a chance to say goodbye. Didn't mean he had any clue where he would end up afterwards, but he was a rogue and would live the life of one -- wandering nomadically, never putting down roots.

It was time to say goodbye to his old life and begin anew. Anew, but not necessarily better by any means.

It was @Bhaskar that brought him to a halt. Oh, he should probably mention something to the nice older guy but.. well, he'd also heard @Asteria calling for him. Nero's ears fell against his head, wondering if Bhaskar would even want to see him after hearing what he'd done. Probably not. He would have scampered away unseen if he hadn't also smelled someone familiar on the breeze, and curiosity got the best of him as he drew closer and closer yet.

@Saga.

Standing next to Asteria.

Nero was confused, but it was too late to pretend he could hide now. The foliage was too thin and his white pelt stood out like a neon light, so the teenager hobbled his way to the outside of the small group and glanced between all three of them. He didn't look ideal, of course, but with Jewel's help he would soon begin putting on more weight. For now he was simply a pelt draped across bones, crimson eyes darting uncertainly. He didn't know what was going on and so he said nothing, just.. stared.

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She looks at Asteria with a mild frown, noting her anxiety. Gently, she curls her tail to place to tip on the child's flank, trying to steady her with the touch. Despite her misgivings, @Asteria calls - and @Bhaskar answers. He arrives with concern writ across his face and the sigrun woman is still, silent, as he takes in the scene. He managed to be gracious and cautious in one go and she nods her head to him in greeting. "Asteria spent the night at the lagoon and has opted to stay with us." Saga explains, glancing briefly at the girl's thin frame and back to the young male. "I was.... Concerned about @Nero, after seeing how hungry she was." She doesn't mention that Asteria has said they were just busy, doesn't place the blame on them. Truly it is her fault for believing the little albino would be well on the care of other children. But she's not throwing accusations.

Not until Nero does show up.

He says nothing, merely limps his way closer and watches with those unreadable ruby eyes.

Saga's nostrils flare and a muscle twitches in her jaw. Her eyes slice back to Bhaskar and she exhales a slow, harsh breath. "You told me you could handle it." The words are not harsh or angry - they're quiet, cold. Furious in her own way. "I let him make the choice and you said you could handle it." Her gaze transfers to the young teen, then, and she takes an uncertain step forward. Vellen be damned, she's made a mistake. "I thought..." She trails off, shaking her head bitterly. "you were happy." It's a lame excuse and even she knows it. She truly did think he was happy and safe with them and though she kept an eye out here and there, she had been swallowed by her own drama far quicker than she cared to admit.

She fucked up - royally.

"I was coming to bring you to the lagoon." She says softly and though there is shame in her gaze, she can't quite manage an apology.

table by ferus & lineart by eerien00dle

she could not help the fear that coursed through her, and though she registered the soft touch of Saga's tail, it did little to steady her. @Bhaskar comes and she cannot help but shrink a little. her gaze hopes to catch his and communicate a thousand things at once which surely made her seem afraid and likely gave the wrong impression.

@Saga explains and she shrinks a little more as she worried that he would take it wrong, that she would think he had not been good to her or her friends. asteria had valued her time in the jungle but she could not help the hole in her heart. bhaskar, for all his good intentions, simply could not fill it.

@Nero arrived, then, and her heart clenched painfully. she wondered if he would have stayed if saga hadn't been there, if she would have been enough on her own to make him hold her ground.

"I found her," she whispered, though saga suddenly had fierce words for bhaskar and the child could not help but jump to his defense.

"It's not his fault!" This was blurted suddenly, and her ears pressed against her head as she worried they would be angry with her for butting in. "I just... I didn't stay put..." It was the truth, too, for she had wandered all over Amaryllis, unaware of the fact that she had been looking all along for something.

her panicked gaze darted from saga to bhaskar and then back to nero and she fought the urge to run, afraid of facing whatever consequences may come on the heels of her actions.

soft words, then, for nero, and asteria clamped her mouth shut. her tail curled around her back legs and her gaze slipped to the ground as she waited, tense and unsure, for more to be said.

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There is familiarity between the grey Sigrun and the onyx @Asteria which came as a surprise to the red-maned giant and slightly confused him as to their purpose in his home. So close to everybody else. Too close. The fear that shone in the dark cub's gaze only puzzled him further. @Saga's words pulled his attention away, his heart skipping a beat at the unexpected news. Opted? He glanced at Asteria with sneaking suspicion. "Is that true?" He had warned her to stay away from the pride lions and their borders and she had heeded his warning, yet here she was. Could it be that Saga claimed Asteria? His skepticism would not be put to rest until he hears what the young girl has to say.

I was.... Concerned about @Nero, after seeing how hungry she was. His otherwise sulking face darkened even further, brows furrowing together in a display of his rising discontent. There was nothing he knew of this. The gang always had food around the jungle and he was certain that Nero and Asteria knew that, unless they chose not to eat from the reserves.

Before Bhaskar could respond, the ghostly silhouette of @Nero appears against the green jungle canopy. His head turns to see the boy who looks awfully thin and injured. What the hell has happened ever since they last met? "Nero? Why didn't you tell me?" He would've helped anyway he could.

Saga's sharp words made his head turn. Accusations that it was his failure that led to this were thrown his way. A low growl rumbles from the depths of his chest. "We do handle it." He rumbled lowly, guttural growl merging with the brute's words. "We have food and they are free to eat from it any time they want." He wasn't going to stand this. Not when he has done his best to protect his friends.


Bhaskar was uncertain where all this misinformation was coming from, his eyes snaked towards Asteria. Was it her that let loose such lies? "We're not like you pride lions. We don't keep everyone on a chain. They can go and do whatever they want." Asteria jumped to defend him and he watched her through narrowed eyes. Saga proclaimed she is going to bring Nero back with her, too. The red-maned beast's heart began to skip wildly in his chest, his lips peeled in a snarl as he looked towards the pale boy. "You would go with her?" He sought confirmation. If it was Nero's choice to go with the Sigrun and Asteria, then so be it. Bhaskar won't stop them. If they were so keen on leaving the group behind for the pride lions, then so be it. Why did it have to come down to these dramatics? It could've all been avoided. They were putting in danger everybody else who lived here by not only revealing their location but by also accusing him of something he had no fault of.

Aries has been... away. Not without leave, but he has been following a wanderlust, exploring where he can and also on a keen lookout for missing Tilly. He worries about her, but ultimately, his ventures have turned up fruitless -- all the trails lead to dead ends. He hasn't set foot in the jungle in weeks, but he is eager to return to his friends, if a bit disheartened and concerned about the one who has vanished. Surely, she has just lost track of time exploring as well... It is in this way that Aries doesn't know what's been happening in his absence -- doesn't know about @Asteria's existence, or @Nero's dissatisfaction. As he nears camp, however, it becomes quickly clear that there's something going on. Their base is currently empty, though there are fresh scents that reassure him that his companions haven't been away long. He follows the more fresh trail of @Bhaskar, his ears twisting forward as he hears voices cutting through the air, and the mature female voice is familiar to him. His brows furrow as he creeps up through the brush behind Bhaskar, sidling up alongside the considerably larger male and peering around him at the tense features of @Saga, the shamed ones of the girl he doesn't know, and the bedraggled ones of Nero. "What's going on?" he half-whispers, feeling like he might be wrong for even interjecting, but he cannot help but wonder what happened to Nero while he was gone. "You're leaving?" the striped yearling murmurs, his pensive gaze settling upon the younger boy.

image by argent, code by koi

There was far too much going on for him to keep up with, let alone process properly as the conversation sharply steered towards anger. Nero's eyes fell upon @Asteria as she murmured that she had found @Saga, but he couldn't help but hesitate. There was no gratitude in his chest, only anxiety that something so unfathomably cruel had taken place he no longer wanted to even be on the same planet as his former friend. Nero frowned, noting the way Saga had curled her tail around Asteria protectively. Then to learn she had chosen to stay with Scilla left him with only one question: "Is she your mother now?" There was insufferable grief in his mismatched, bloody gaze as he stared at her, waiting for some sort of confirmation she had only found Saga to spit on him. This had to have been revenge, didn't it? He had hurt her and now she was standing before him with the biggest regret of his life, comfortably nestled up against her where he wanted so eagerly to be. Why? Why Asteria? Why hadn't she claimed him right then and there, decided what was best for him? Why was Asteria worth so much more than he was?

Nero dug his claws into the soil below, heart thundering loudly in his ears as he closed his eyes, braced as nausea swept over him. This couldn't be happening. His breath quickened yet somehow eluded him altogether, causing his chest to rise and fall in quick succession. He'd never had an anxiety attack before, but now he understood good and well what Asteria went through -- and he didn't like it at all. Nero felt like he was in the ocean, drowning as the waves continued to crash over his head yet never managing to force out a last breath. Why couldn't he just breathe his last and get it over with? Nero was tired of fighting the sea and he saw nothing but tsunamis heading his way.

When did it all finally end?

When Saga spoke to him, his eyes snapped open. She thought he was happy? "I was three months old, I didn't know what was best for me." Nero looked to her with grief but a surprising lack of blame, though he felt in his heart things would have been simpler had she just not given him a choice. "I tried to find you for months after that, but then.. well, I figured after so long I would have found you. By the time I gave up, I assumed you had forgotten about me altogether. Or maybe you only wanted me that day because I was right there.." Out of sight, out of mind? Nero didn't know, but his voice held no accusation. It was only defeat and rejection, abruptly shifting to fear when @Bhaskar turned on him with snarls.

The ghostly teenager cried out in surprise as the man turned his teeth towards him, dropping to his side in fear. "Please don't hit me, I'm sorry! I didn't-- it's not your fault, I never blamed you!" he exclaimed, tears welling in his eyes as he scrambled to get away from the larger man. "Please don't hurt me," the teenager sobbed, recalling only when Newt had struck him to the ground after his teeth had flashed in a similar fashion. Bhaskar had never been angry with him before, but was this him? Was this the real Bhaskar, and was he just as eager to strike Nero across the face? "I stayed away because I'm a fuckin' curse to everyone. Everyone I touch or love dies, and I'm not doin' that to any of you. I don't live here and I don't live with them, I'm fine on my own and no one has to die." By this point he was back on his feet, spine hunched, walking backwards away from the group but with wild eyes.

He bumped into someone and looked up to see @Aries, who asked if he was leaving. Nero didn't know how to answer him other than: "I haven't lived here in weeks." His scent had faded enough, but Aries tended to wander. Nero didn't blame him for not realizing, but at the same time, why did it matter? It wasn't as though they were all the best of pals, the closest of brothers. Nero barely knew anything about them -- and now they knew it was for the best.

"It's not their fault," he finally said to Saga, shaking his head. "It's not their fault." It's not their fault he was cursed, a cancer to everyone he bonded with. Even now he bore witness to the malignancy of his existence, watching as his friends were accused of mistreatment. That wasn't the case and Nero would defend them to the death, but he needed it to be known so that everyone finally understood. It was difficult to stand when the world was spinning, and in that moment he stood utterly alone.

How desperately he wanted to reach out to Asteria and beg for forgiveness, to explain how much he cared for her and how terrified he was of losing her. He wanted to scream and try to get her to understand he hadn't done anything because he'd wanted to do, but things he knew were necessary for her to grow and have a happy life. Nero was a parasitic invasion that had culled himself, wasn't that for the best? He wanted to say all of those things and more, but the mere idea that she had found Saga with intentions to be adopted was shattering. The idea that she now called Saga mother, knowing full well that he had spoken about her for so fucking long, was the gravest injury she could have every inflicted on him. Nero knew he would be unable to handle such a revelation if it were confirmed to be true; a double stab to the chest was often fatal, and he was already weak as could be. Fragile. Delicate. Worthless. Useless.

There was no one he could turn to for comfort, and so he simply shook as he stood there, confused and afraid.

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@Asteria's panic rises and saga silences her irritation to turn back to the youth. of course it wasn't her fault; it was the sigrun's. she should have never let nero leave with the group, should have never been persuaded that a band of children could raise more children. her legs tremble minutely with the adrenaline slamming through her muscles, but her face remains placid, cold. the only tell is the sharp, hawkish stare of her brown eyes as she snaps them back to @Bhaskar when he questions her. is that true, he pushes. is that true, as if saga claimed her. as if saga claimed nero or aries or any of the yearlings crammed together in the chaos of that challenge. as if she didn't let them walk off with a cub far too young to be trusted with anyone other than an adult and anywhere other than the safety of a pride. here, a lip curls and she manages to look down her nose at the male despite his much larger size. "had i claimed her, i would have said so. i have no reason to hide it. there's nothing to fear from you." her words are pointed but her tone mild, almost bored. did he think himself and his band some sort of... deterrent to her claiming? that she would lie or duck around the truth, as if she feared judgment or, more laughably, injury? a huff escapes her and she lifts a paw, gesturing it to asteria as if to say clarify away.

nero's question is soft but it strikes a chord. her eyes study the emaciated youth and a frown touches the dark edges of her lips. there's a gentleness in her gaze despite the stern expression and scars. "i would be yours." she offers, genuinely. "i am caring for her right now, that is all." and it is - they've not discussed, really, if she needed ( wanted ) a mother. they touched only, quickly, on nero and the fact that he was unhappy. saga would rather take them both home and discuss things with them as a whole. the older sigrun would be more than happy to take them both under her wing, to adopt them both regardless of nero's older age or his feeling that he is no longer wanted.

she's made a mistake, she knows. this would have been solved from the beginning if she had stuck to her gut decision instead of standing by and letting the boy's independence make the choice, instead. she needs to remind herself that amaryllis is not home and there is not a village to raise them - that he is, for all intents and purposes - alone with the older kids. and babies have no right raising babies.

she wants only to remedy it - or, at the least, set the boy up for success. "i know." she concedes, guilt showing naked on her face for the briefest of moments before she swallows it down. "i thought i was doing right, letting you decide." she admits, though the way she says it assures him she was wrong. bhaskar assures her they handle it. and she shakes her head. "you handle it, hmmm?" she drawls, her head lowering and her body shifting into a more ready, squared stance. "by letting children wander under their bones break and they starve? yes. you handle it." a rough, dark laugh bubbles up from her throat and a snarl crawls up after it. "your lifestyle is ill suited for cubs. that's been made clear." saga peers at bhaskar from the corners of her gaze, muscles tense. "whether it be on purpose or not." she tries to acknowledge that it could all be an accident -

but when he turns to speak to the albino, all hell breaks loose.

he scrambles back in a panic, crying out and falling onto his side. "please don't hit me." he begs. "please don't hit me." fury uncurls in her chest. it courses through her veins and she lifts her body out of the defensive crouch it had been in, standing tall and taking a careful, deliberate single step forward. "hit you." she parrots in that detached way, seeming all the world that she could be discussing the weather. but there's a fierce intensity in her gaze that wasn't there before; and her claws sink into the loam underfoot. nero is scuttling away, calling himself a curse, and for a moment she considers launching herself at the young adult colossus and hashing things out in a decidedly brutal way - but she can't ignore the boy.

saga meets bhaskar's gaze with a clear threat before turning a cold shoulder to him and hurrying after nero - blinking in surprise when @Aries appears and halts the boy's escape. her ears fall back to her skull as she comes up beside the kid, tilting her jaw to peer carefully at him. "it's not their fault," she finally agrees. "it's been mine from the start." that, at least, is the truth. saga eases a step closer and starts to reach for him but jerks to a stop. she's almost afraid if she touches him that he'll lash out or he'll run. she takes a deep breath and lets it out, a long sigh. "i'd like to take you home, nero. at least get you well fed and rested... and if you never want to see me again, i can help you find a safe home and a family, if that's what you want. vellen give her the patience to not lay claim to him here and now to remedy the situation. somehow she thinks he'll not thank her for that - the time for claiming has long since passed. but, oh, she wants to.

for a moment she pauses, watching, and then she takes a chance - she steps forward, into him, and slings a neck over his shoulders to crush him in a hug from one side. he may hate her and fight - and if he does, she'll let him go - but she does her best to promise she's here, now. she's here and she'll work to make up for her mistakes if he'll only let her.

table by ferus & lineart by eerien00dle