It felt wrong to hesitate. She didn't ask him anything extreme, but Nero didn't know what forever had in store for him. It would have been simple for him to just nod and go along with it, pretend that they would always be friends.. but Nero doubted it. Eventually she would find someone bigger and tougher and cooler, who wasn't always scarred from the sunlight and was able to do things. She needed him now, but not forever. Never forever. Just like his parents had left, so too would she. It was just how things went and if anyone could understand that, it was her.

"Yeah, no matter what," he finally said, nodding. No matter what.. on his end, but he couldn't stop her from moving on when she aged out of needing him around.

image by moogle/code by saph

Despite what Nero may think Asteria meant what she said. Sure she was young and naive and things could definitely change, but she believed that friendships were forever. Having been abandoned so young (and having faced it a few times since) she was not the type to disappear on him.

“I wonder where we will end up.” Her focus turned to their surroundings, then, as her eyes half closed in consideration. “Do you think you’ll join a pride?”

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Nero glanced at her from the corner of his mismatched eyes, the crimson and pink melding together in a uniquely dull fashion. He hated the way he looked -- all white and pink with spots like he was a bloody Dalmatian. When he looked at Asteria he saw what he could never be, and when she asked where they would end up, Nero assumed she meant where they would end up separately. "I don't know, I.. I had a chance to go with a woman who seemed interested in adopting me but.. they said adults were stupid and I think I messed up." His ears fell against his head. "I've looked for her to see if.. if maybe she was still interested in me but.. I can't find her, so." Nero glanced at his paws. "I don't know what's going to happen. I just.. everything hurts all the time. Just.. not being wanted by any adults." He wiped the back of his paw against his cheek, refusing to cry. "Sorry, just. I don't know, tired."

image by moogle/code by saph

Asteria hadnt known that he was almost adopted, and she frowned when he mentioned adults being stupid. “who told you that? If you could have been adopted…” Her voice trailed off and she, too, looked at her paws. He would have been very lucky, she thought, though didn’t realize that meant she likely would never have met him.

“What’s her name? I could maybe help you look? We could go to all the prides!” She bumped his shoulder, trying to pull him out of his funk. “I bet somebody would give anything to adopt you.” he was kind and helpful and she knew somebody would see what she saw.

“hey,” she bumped him again and tried to get him to look at her. “somebody will want you Nero, I know it.”

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"Ryuu. I was three months old when they found me. He said it was the gang or her and I chose wrong." His eyes drifted to his paws as he sighed, nearly melting into the ground. When she requested her name, Nero had to think. "Saga or something. It doesn't matter, it was so long ago. She's forgotten about me by now." Nero wasn't small and cute anymore, he was a teenager. He glanced at her as she insisted someone would want him, but it wasn't something he could believe. "No one wants to adopt an older kid. It's too late for me, but you.. still have time." Asteria was young still, there was no way anyone would hesitate to take her in.

"But anyway," he began, stuffing his vulnerability back into the depths from which it came.

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Her ears pressed against her head. Asteria felt a lot of the same things Nero did, but she realized he had been feeling them for much longer than she had. For the most part Asteria did a good job of pretending she was fine, except for when the panic fluttered in her chest.

“that’s not true Nero. You’re not less valuable just because you’re older.” Asteria knew there was somebody out there that would want him and she decided then and there that she would track down this Saga. Or maybe she could ask Faevrye?

The dark child considered this for a moment but soon her focus was drawn back to her friend. She bumped her shoulder against his and gave him another reassuring smile. “It’s not too late for either of us,” she repeated her assurances, though privately tried not to get her own hopes up too much.

@Nero

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Nero felt shitty, to be quite honest. He hadn't meant to turn the conversation onto him and him alone, but wondered if it helped her at all to know she wasn't alone. That she felt some kind of validation for her feelings was all he wanted, though he certainly hadn't meant to get all up in his feelings during the process. She kept reassuring him and he flipped through all the women at the challenge who had argued over him, only for him to turn them all away in favor of the older kids. Nero kept quiet and swirled some of the water around with his paw, not entirely sure what else there was for him to say.

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Asteria lapsed in to silence, too. There were only so many ways she could try to convince him, especially when she barely believed her own words. Of course she did believe that Nero would be adopted, of course she believed he was worthy, but herself?

A small sigh slipped from her lips and she leaned against his shoulder. “at least no matter what we have eachother,” and that was about the only reassurance she could think to offer. “I won’t ever leave you, okay?” friends forever, yin and yang.

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Nero couldn't help but drown in his misery, self-inflicted though it was. He wondered how truthful she was being about having each other, but the fact of the matter was that he didn't have an option. "You're the only thing I have," he mumbled in some sort of bizarre agreement, unaware how those words would come back to haunt him in the future. "Love you, Asty." It was a harmless thing spoken between young friends, but he meant it in every way a child could. He missed her when she was gone because without her, he was losing a piece of himself. What else could a lonely kid do besides latch on to the one friend he had?

Fuck it all up, probably.

exit?

image by moogle/code by saph

Asteria wanted to argue with him, she wanted to remind him of the others that were around, but she bit her tongue. After all, Ryuu seemed to be the reason Nero was here (according to the pale boy) and she didn't want to bring that up again.

"Love you too," she grinned at him, not really understanding the full power of those words. Asteria had not spoken them to another since her family and yet she knew she loved Nero in every way that you could love a friend at her age.

- exit by staying put xD -

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