Castus moved along the shore with the waves tickling his toes, his mane was a little better kept now that he had some rest. The red and balck feathers tied in his growing mane were shimmering in the sunlight as it beat down upon his grey pelt. The teenager was here to explore his options of food, maybe a fish or two would tide him over. Tail twitched behind him while he watched the waves, when a large fin in the water not too far out from him made him reconsider his toes in the water. Quickly he went to the beach instead watching the fin with concern. “either that is a great big fish ... or trouble” he muttered with concern to himself.

It was a little funny how even after all this time abs over two life times the ocean still had the power to calm her and call her to it. Copree had stood on uncounted shorelines in over a half dozen lands and the atmosphere never failed to soothe to some degree. And right now she needed some calming. Her heart was anything but peaceful. Her family was... fractured. She had tried to preserve them and it led to her losing track to such a degree the poor lioness might never know what became of some. When she first spotted the farmilar great of her son Copree thought it might be a trick of her stressed mind. But as she swiftly strode nearer the image did not change or vanish. Screw the pain of moving swiftly! "Castus!"

The voice made him turn to see who called him, it wasn't his sisters who he felt wouldn't treat him harshly for his abandonment. They would understand, they had been there to see he was injured by the rogues, almost eaten in fact! However emerald eyes narrowed slightly seeing Copree, was this a mirage? He squinted a bit then realized no this not a mirage. Castus found his voice deeper than it had been in cub hood while he yelled out of alarm and anxiety, ”stop!” It was a request, there was no 'please' at the end but his tone implied it.

Castus wasn't ready for touch, he wasn't ready to be embraced by his family until he spoke the reason he couldn't find them. But Copree had left and he had become so depressed for it. Schro had helped but it didn't ease the pain completely. His claws were in the sand tense, his fur twitching up a bit fluffing in alarm. Clearly startled by her sudden arrival. Though his face was soft, reflecting most of his inner emotion outward towards her. The confusion, the hurt, the hesitation, it reflected it all for her to witness.


@Copree

He turned to face her, the image of him moving almost seemed to sharpen and slow at the same time as Copree pushed her self to move more swiftly. A couple wounds strained at their newly sealed edges, split, lazily began weeping crimson.

In much the same way her heart felt as if it might split along delicate fracture lines as his single alarmed word had an effect on the lioness both physically and emotionally similar to having run into a low laying branch at about throat height. A semi locking of joints, the whip like lashing of a tail as claws and paws scramble to secure a swift halt.

Another scabbed wound gave up its efforts to remained sealed, the stinging on her hip adding a sharp and pointed exclamation to the conflicted bewilderment showing on her expressive features as the confused mother struggled to absorb the unexpected 'feel' the reunion had taken.

"Castus?" slightly breathless, confusion, concern, a touch of pain, and above all anxious concerned question. Was he alright?

@Castus

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The wounds upon his head had healed and once his mane grew in they would be non existant to anyone else until they lifted the ridge of his mane. His elbow had the scars that would fade around it but would remain to the sight of any who wished to gaze at them. But the fractured elbow had healed though he did feel some times it hurt when it was particularly hot out.

Right now however he felt his heart throbbing in his chest, tears welling in his green eyes, he sniffeda nd took a step back. ”Please” he nearly whispered the word, he didn't forget Copree but a squishy happy reunion wasn't meant to be. ”... you'll leave again” he said after a moments pause. His breath shaky with emotion while he kept the distance between them. He didn't want to tell her how much he had failed his siblings...


”talk”

'Please' her eyes widened slightly, confusion only deepening and drawing furrows into a dark brow as he continued, 'you'll leave again', backing up and causing her breath to hitch slightly in an already tight chest. That? He was? This was about....? But...

She didn't...

She did...

But it wasn't...

"Castus..." how did she...voice what she was thinking without potentially making it somehow worse? How did you try and mitigate an emotional wound that you had not seen coming and did not fully understand? Castus had always been the softest and most emotionally tender of her children by a good measure, but this still caught Copree off guard. And seeing his upset horrified her, more so at the thought it had been caused by her own actions.

"It was ... a short trip, while you were supposed to be safely watched by your father. I asked if you and your siblings wanted to come with me. You all wanted to stay. I never meant for you to feel like you were left behind, " Her ears remained slicked to the sides and slightly back in dismay "I was not abandoning, leaving, not you or your siblings. Not like that. Never. I wont leave this land." no different from her overnight or two day hunting trips, or when the kids were in teh crater to bond with Caligula.

Only....then Castus had vanished....and the world fell apart with first Sarthak's insanity and then the rogues coming in wave after wave. For a while there everything and everyone had been gone. Again.

@Castus

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”how could you expect to ask us to be split up?” he found the words leaving his lips before he could stop them, didn't she know how close they were? How close Castus was to Theta and Elise especially, hwo he would have rather died than leave their side. Tears began to run down his cheeks though he felt a rush of anger well more frustration. ”Papa is probably dead!” he suddenly snapped.

He lifted a paw to wipe away his tears, ”but i won't know because we couldn't stay to see could we?” he didn't regret Copree dragging him away really but he was a teenage mopey machine right now. ”the rogues... they came... I got hurt protecting them... Ambrosine she helped but they came anyway...” he said between big sobs and found it hard to breath between them. Then he let himself gasp and sat his rear down crying openly at his mother but he wasn't confident enough to want her touch. Right now he would just be a big sobbing boogery mess for her to witness.


”talk”

She had an answer for him, but as the seconds passed, as she listened and really looked at him Copree wondered if it was answers he really wanted. Or this was more about a voice that needed heard and feelings expressed. So she listened, studied him with emotion heavy eyes and let him get it out...soaking in the thoughts and emotion her son shared.

How much...if any...of her answers did he want to hear? How much...could she ... did she dare share with her gentle son? The truth of her would surly drive them away in horror. So she would swallow her heart back, hide the flaws, hide the cracks, continue to restrain and tighten the bonds. Let only light through. Let only the light through.

"I should have ... let you choose. But ...that... I didn't think...you would want that in your head and behind your eyes. My father's murder haunted me Castus, it still does. All the time. And I didn't have to witness it. But I still see it when I dream. When I see lions fight in front of their children." She had never told her children what happened to their grandfather, they had been too young and it was far from a happy story.

He cried, she wanted to comfort him...but he had made his feelings on her getting closer very clear. So she could only suffer in place, slowly closing her eyes for a moment to search for an illusive calm that seemed intent on slipping farther away. Her lids opened again as Copree forced herself to not hide within, she would look at him with love and a deep haunting sorrow.
"I'm sorry. I should have stayed. I should have been there to help you protect everyone. I owe my cousin more than I can express it would seem." and found the strength to somehow....avoid harming Sarthak herself. Maybe herbs. A sedative herb could be good right? A lot of herbs. Hell if Sarthak survived his wounds she would probably still need a lot of herbs. But the whole 'your papa is an asshole' talk would definitely need to come another day.


@Castus

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”...and i don't know if he was murdered or survived... none of us do” he muttered, her damages did not mean he had to carry them too. Castus refused to carry her damaged past with his own. He had enough of his own problems! If she approached he may have accepted a hug after a bit of resistance, but he didn't know how to tell her that and he didn't know how to approach her.

”I almost... died!... then I failed everyone!” he yelled the last part in frustration, ears folding back on his head, he had left like the rest but he felt guilty that he didn't try to keep with his family. ”everyone leaves!” he muttered sniffling the tears were refusing to stop running down his face and he was finding it irritating. Castus approached Copree a little closer but then he stared up at her, he was studying her confused on how to act.




”talk”

She wanted to say 'I know, but its my job to protect you when I can!' and that includes not seeing your father killed. But she really could not say that with a strait face could she? Because in protecting her cubs from one horror she had failed to protect them from another. Fate was a twisted mistress at times.

"We can go ask Hanneth. I found her shortly before I found you." and although that might open up a rotten shelfish in itself, Hanneth would have the details Castus wished for.
"How did you fail Castus? No one can win every battle." she softly attempted to reassure. Copree herself had been force to flee overwhelming odds.

Sometimes buying time and having the courage to take on a battle was the harder battle to win. He moved a little closer and her head lowered just a little, as if....poised on the edge of trying to bump her crown against his. Waiting for some signal such a gesture would be welcome.

" It sucks sometimes. Life is full of meetings and partings sweetie. It doesn't make love or memories less precious. I found my way back. I will be here." she would not lie and tell him no one in his life would ever leave or die again, they would certainly do so. But she hoped she could help him understand how this was just part of the whole bundle, and that the good parts made it worth it.

@Castus

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