Catharsis.

How it unfurled from him upon shattered wings — wings that he was using to support her through this emotional frenzy. His thoughts muddled; hazed from both physical and mental desire that was left bare and broken upon the shore of distant memories. But all of that seemed so far away; on distant islands that he could not reach through mortal form and means.

'A hint; you're too guarded.' Mother would croon along the surface of the walls. A thousand silent eyes burned a hole into his midnight pelt as he felt her lean against him; into his embrace, as he continued to sweep his tongue along the length of her neck gently. But if he was not guarded then who else would watch his back? The Shadow worked alone — always had and always would. But his thoughts circled back to the younger generation and the war; perhaps there was hope for a less violent future.

'That sounds more like a curse than a test.' @Bordeaux spoke the words he would never give shape to verbally. Words that the Mother was a Goddess of unrelenting focus. Shades of Mother's love were only granted to him when he was upon the battlefield or within the womb of the earth — any other time that light was reserved for those not covered in gore. But he says nothing to that comment; instead, he focuses on softly sweeping his tongue along the curve of her neck.

'What happens when you find her and she becomes your mate once more? Or if you never find her?' A momentary pause as he sweeps his tongue upwards and then against his lips before rumbling thoughtfully. "The Mother blesses them. In this life they find strength, comfort, and peace." The beast muses before his eyes flicker distantly again; recalling some stray memory of one of the life mate pairs that he saw. "Back in my homeland there was a family that carried a baneful disease that my kin were very susceptible to...there were a few lifemate pairs that fought in that war...the fever did not fell them — it couldn't fell them. No medicine, no treatment, they fought for days and weeks at a time to protect their family and offspring." He whispers to her quietly; his paw lightly trying to run down her spine as he recalls the memory of the war that changed him.

"Mother's blessing is unbridled strength of mind and body, unassailable determination, unrelenting courage, and that feeling of never being alone no matter how far one might be from their partner." He gently flicks an ear as he allows the silence to seep into the conversation — eyes still distant as he goes back to gently grooming the side of her neck.

'What was she like.. before? Do you remember? Was she plagued with illness? Was she kind?' The corners of his lips pull up in a genuine smile; tinged with sorrowful mirth. Did she think he could tell her what she was like before this life? What befell her? What befell them? "Mother only leaves us with the faintest memories, rabbit. It is to keep us hunting." Vladizmir would somberly say before adding in a smooth chuckle. "I remember a lot of herbs, a lot of patched wounds, a lot of tears, but also a lot of happiness. I think...I think I worried her a lot. It always smelled like home, like peace, like...where I want to die." Something earnest settled within the words — his confession. He was a titan of the battlefield for lifetimes.

She — his lighthouse always calling him home.

Maybe that was why he forestalled searching for his mate for so long. He loved and cared for her, yet he worried her with his warmongering ways. Was that why it translated to her fear this lifetime? Was this the lesson The Mother was trying to teach him? The endlessness of it all was starting to feel suffocating. His ears would shift suddenly; splaying to the side in uncertainty as he momentarily lapsed into a distant memory. His mind was falling into the wake of the past and yet — 'Would you?' Her voice a hand in the waves that pull him out of it.

Would he what? 'Oh.' Would he have her abandon the other male? Yes. In a perfect world — but this was not a perfect world and the Mother was punishing him for something. Was it the sin of allowing Teodora to maim that woman instead of him shoulder her out of the way and doing it himself? Teodora — stained in so much blood when she should have been held aloft and speaking the divine words of the Mother. It was the lies of the Mother that was starting to rap its fingers against the skeletonized hollows of his mind. Could he stand to see her with another? 'No,' but this was just another test was it not? The Mother might be tugging sharply at the chain She had connected onto his collar.

"Yes, I would." He offers those words to her — in hopes that The Mother would show him a path that lead to the future he believed in. One in the afterlife freed from the shackles of death and rebirth. He couldn't flee from this calamitous punishment but he would make the best of it. And yet he is sure that at some moments she believed he was victimizing her. Nevertheless, the beast was also her victim.

It just looked different.

I'm dying to melt through to the heart of her molecules

Until the particles part like holy water.

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She had to wonder what it must be like to be tied to faith in something like The Mother. Did it give one hope? Did it give one a sense of true peace? She didn't imagine one could ever feel truly free if they were bound to the whims, blessings and curses of something greater than themselves. Was it beautiful or tragic to spend, not only one lifetime, seeking out their other half.

She would bless the soul mate? What if the one in question never acknowledged her or the faith that guided those that worshipped her? @Vladizmir could only offer her the smallest glimpse into what he would deem to be her soul, carried over from times before. He spoke of herbs and healing, a comment that gave her pause to think. Bordeaux's mother had always told her she was a very skilled healer with a natural talent beyond her years. Was it a coincidence? Perhaps she was looking to hard for a reason to believe him.

He would continue to caress her neck as they sat there, the chill of it never dissipating no matter now frequent the contact. After a time she felt as if she was flush with the beginnings of a fever, wondering if sickness was taking hold. She didn't feel any worse for wear, just a rush of warmth cutting against the chill down her backside.

Fortunately the lion would become distracted once more, lost in memory perhaps. She felt compelled then to sink down to the floor, laying down on her stomach with a deep wavering exhale. She hoped this feeling would pass soon, despite his contact with her never completely gone.

She would bow her head as he gave her an answer, frowning at his words. She would glimpse an image of Kovirah in her head, the thought of leaving him tightly gripping her heart, pained with every beating of it. She would give a fleeting glance back up at the dark beast, his very presence leaving her feeling flushed and conflicted. Did she want him to leave her here alone? Did she want him to draw her in close and take what he wanted? She didn't have an answer to that, which troubled her, made her feel weak in body and mind.

He would ask her to leave Kovirah, though he had not yet done so. He surely could see the answer in her eyes. She already said she couldn't abandon him after he had overcome so much and was finally on the brink of the happiness deserved. She would not be the one to strip that away from him.

'Don't ask me.. I don't want to cause you pain anymore than I do him.' She silently willed Vladizmir. It would be another weight she had to carry if it came to that, adding to all regret she already dragged around with her.

October and April

She was like April sky Sunrise in her eyes

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The Mother; her voice was a soft rasp against his ears that soon faded into nothing — leaving him in the silence of his own mind. Her silence cut through the faded black; leaving him to stew as his memories and thoughts continued to travel that space so far away before drifting back as he feels her shift in his embrace — gone.

Molten gaze would travel around; only to drop and notice her lying on the ground. The beast would try to lower a paw to the ground about her left side; his head lowering as he gives her a tentative sniff. The smell of herbs trailed down his nasal passage as he took another deep breath in — she was still here.

Vladizmir would ark his head just slightly lower; jaws parted — teeth lightly aiming to run along the back of her neck — tracing his fire along her scruff. "Rabbit..." Husky whisper would steal into the silence; question left unspoken as he regards her there - below him. Not the first time but something uncanny rolls along the pit of his stomach before an invisible fist clenches about it.

'Bury her.' The whisper comes back but the male ignores the Mother for a moment. His gaze was too warm to trifle with anything but the pastel goddess below him at this singular moment. Quietly he would chuff; his voice pitching down ever so softly. "Mine," the word — possessive, and yet the tone was tainted with affection.

@Bordeaux

I'm dying to melt through to the heart of her molecules

Until the particles part like holy water.

code by corvus

She might appear relaxed and tranquil in that moment, on the verge of a peaceful slumber. Within raged a battle between the mind and body, heart and instinct. It was wrong to let him get this close, what would Kovirah think? Was the light in her diminished by the budding desire @Vladizmir fueled over the past several minutes? She would look at his paws as he carefully shifted, the sensation of him looming fully over her.

While her eyes would widen slightly as she realized the situation she had put herself in, it has felt like a natural progression of things. She would never admit to it, or voice it aloud, but there was a measure of expectation. Was it so terrible for someone to enjoy the idea that someone might desire them?

She imagined this was what the dark lion felt, but she had been deceived before, it made her wary, even now she couldn't be entirely sure his true intent wasn't to hurt her, she had to offer him what faith she had still in her after the ordeal she had endured with the first lion she was with.

Her mind was made up, though you know there was a strong influence on her decision. She would press her cheek against his front leg, brushing along it and savoring the warmth that radiated from it. She hoped he could help her to rid this strange sensation that threatened to devour her. She would not speak, though a quiet utterance of his name might be heard. An invitation perhaps? A selfish one she would deal with the shame of later.

If he really was her soul mate, would this tender moment between them give him contentment?

October and April

She was like April sky Sunrise in her eyes

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Warmth.

The itch started along the length of his leg and clawed its way along the depths of his stomach. Unsettled butterflies; let loose from the trepidation that was their glass cell. Her cheek against his flesh; his name whispered in the darkness calling him home. It was wherever she was, yet he couldn't help the voice in his head saying to deny her. 'She'll regret it in the morning,' the creature would quietly muse inside his of head.

Could he deal with the aftermath? Having to try to unravel that which was she dealing with her whatever regret she would feel? Convince her that there was nothing wrong with embracing that part of herself that wished to thrive that she smothered? Nothing wrong with the two of them. The male would lightly push his ears back against his head; his voice stalled in the back of his throat as he stared down at her for a long moment in silence.

There was a type of uncertainty that drifted about his form — he; mentally hovering on the brink of indecision. But in the far reaches of his mind was that voice that told him that it would be proof of his love for her and a flame to burn between the other male and her. That voice insisted; send her home smelling of his cologne and sex.

But if he didn't...would she be upset? Think he was was only riling her up to shame her? What happens if she being denied shut down that part of her that was allowed to blossom under the moonlight? From the depths of hell his confliction called — he loved this woman and yet he was baffled on what to do. Isn't this what he wanted? To make her come to terms with what she felt...what she kept hidden in the dark?

Then there was the notion that their coupling would be proof that he managed to find her in this lifetime, that he managed to sway her in this lifetime even if he didn't get to bury her just yet. It was a tangle of white noise, desire, and uncertainty before he finally made up his mind. He would not deny her anything that she wished — well besides his own disappearance.

A vibration would travel down the length of his throat — unchecked desire as he lightly nips the back of her neck; a phrase parsing from hips lips in a quiet whisper "I love you," before the doomed earthen soldier brought them together.

- fade to black -

Rolling SpringBreedingAttempt 1d50: 48
Your breeding attempt was successful! You may now submit your cub request in the maintenance forum.

@Bordeaux

I'm dying to melt through to the heart of her molecules

Until the particles part like holy water.

code by corvus

The stillness that passed between them felt like an eternity. Time outside seemed to freeze, all senses dulled to the distant sound of birds, the smell of spring flowers. All that remained was his earthen musk and a radiating warmth that seemed to grow warmer as time slowly passed between them.

After a time she began to wonder, but his position above her made it difficult for her to properly see him. She could not see his expression. Was he having doubts about this? Had she misread him and his want for her. Perhaps it would be better to dismiss herself from this situation while opportunity provided itself. Any actually effort to move proved impossible though, legs feeling almost numb beneath her. The body was fixed to the floor, unwilling to heed command.

Eventually he would shift, a rumbling sound vibrating above her, making her ears tingle. Breath would catch in her throat when he fondly uttered his feelings. She felt a mixture of emotions then. Guilt seemed the strongest of them. Guilt for not being able to utter these words back.. not yet..

Nothing else would be said before she found herself doing something she wouldn't have imagined doing hours earlier. She would closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his breathing and savoring the warmth between them. It was wrong, but in the moment she didn't care that it was.

-fade-

October and April

She was like April sky Sunrise in her eyes

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