This content might touch on topics that are sensitive or triggering for some readers. Trigger Warning for mentions of dementia, severe illness/injury, and death.

OOC: Just a one off to finally put Dero to rest before I can't justify auditioning him again. No one has to find him, but is welcome to. Wouldn't say no to any Lv.3 clerics helping him become an idol, but again, no one has to. For context, he is wandering in the northern mountains of the Freeze not too far from Illyria's borders. If the post is confusing to some, it's honestly meant to be as Dero slips in and out of his memories. RIP to my old man <3

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The many miles we walked
The many things we learned
When was the last time it all made sense? When was the last time he truly felt at home? One could say his home was wherever his family was, his wife, his children, but Dero knew for a long time now that his mind was leaving him. These bouts of time lost between the 'now' and 'then.' One day, he was in the Summit. Then, the next it was Ambrosia. The mountains were not his. The jungles were not his. This world around him was not his. None of it was the home he knew, the home he longed for. As much as he might have tried and hoped for a sense of belonging to these lands, the Hodari could finally admit to himself that he never truly did in Amaryllis.

The building of a shrine
Only just to burn
There was no avoiding the inevitable. All things must come to an end someday, but as the ancient lion wandered through his memories, such thoughts were far off in the distance right now. No, he was still young in this moment, as the lion wandered across his home in search of a particular familiar trinket. Despite not being adorned with the plush coat of his Tolkien comrades, Dero had still managed to grow accustomed to the bitter cold of the Peaks. Even the added bite of winter could not deter him as the dark beast made his way across the snow capped mountains. In his mind, he was home, but the reality of it all was vastly different.

May the wind be at your back
Good fortune touch your hand
The wind whipped harshly against the Freeze's mountains as Dero managed to aimlessly stumble across the uneven terrain. A shell of a lion he used to be. His ribs poked out at every opportunity beneath a dull and dirtied coat. His hips were sunken in on either side, scars made ever more apparent across thin, stretched skin. How long had he been wandering the cold expanse? Who knows at this point? Even Dero couldn't tell time anymore. It was just another day to him, made all the better when his bright blue gaze landed on the perfect specimen of purple hues he had been searching for: a crocus flower. The same flower he had brought to his wife so long ago; a symbol of their love over the years. Even in his old age, Dero had never forgotten the unique winter bloom as the king gently grabbed the flower between his teeth, intent to bring it back to Hanneth in the jungle.

May the cards lay out a-straight
All from your command
Memories continued to skip around between the past and the present. Was he a king of the mountain or a king of the jungle or nothing at all? Whatever conclusion the Hodari was about to achieve was brought to a swift end the moment his footing gave way. This path that he thought he had taken a hundred times before was not the path his paws were used to. It was not his home and thus every collision with the ground upon his tumble brought his reality closer and closer into view.

Blue heron leaves the northern sky
It trusts the journey to new heights
Each thud was a memory. A pair of pink eyes hidden behind a dark mask. The view from the top of their mountain. The first breaths of his first litter eternally shrouded under the immediate loss of their mother. The fragmented images flashed before his monocular gaze, feeling like a lifetime ago. Dero grunted with each and every hit his body took against the mountain's onslaught. Sharp pain thankfully dulled under frigid temperatures that had seeped into his bones long ago. A visage of bronze broke up the growing darkness. Of blue and silver staring back at him. Children of all different colors and all different origins that he would call his own. A sea of green welcomed back his mind. Ancestral lands he was scant to ever think he might touch. In that same warm breath, an acidic blaze of destruction rained down as a reminder of where it all went wrong. Even still, that day was a blur. A blur he went back to again and again any time war was beset upon them. Before his mind could wander much more, though, the world around him went quiet and still and dark.

What's the meaning of the scar
If we don't learn how to heal?
Miraculously, the flower was still clenched between the man’s jaws, although equally battered by the fall. By the time Dero opened his eyes again, the sun was just starting to kiss the horizon in the distance. His surroundings slowly came back into focus, fully realizing the here and now of it all. This was Amaryllis now. This was the Freeze. He was old and he was injured. If not for the hypothermia that had surely settled in by now, the old man might have felt every broken bone in his body. Instead, he was allowed to simply gaze out over the snowy, barren land as his heavy head lay against the stony ground.

Should we ever be apart?
Then how does it feel?
Breathing had grown difficult, he realized. It was a struggle to move a single limb. The realization came quickly that there was no returning home today. Be it to the Summit, the Peaks, or any other home his mind wished to convince him of. This would be his final resting place. He stared in silence for a long time, just watching the colors change in the sky as the sun made its descent, feeling his own breaths grow shallower. There was no use calling out, even if he could. Dero finally let go of the flower, allowing it fall gently against the ground as he attempted to lick his dry lips. A thought came to him as he nearly nodded to himself as if someone had asked a question. “I’m ready… Indy.” Words were spoken weakly between his breaths, recalling a conversation from so long ago with an old friend. “I’m sorry…. Amani.” To his youngest daughter, a life he never wanted to repeat for her, to lose a parent so young in her life just as he had, just as his mother had. Luckily she still had Hanneth, but for how much longer. “Hanneth….” His wife’s name caught in his throat. Whatever moisture was left in his body found its way to his eyes, slightly obscuring the sight in front of him. “Hanneth…” Dero repeated one more time. “I…. love…. You….” A struggle with each breath, words she’d never hear yet the old man felt the need to say it one last time. Who knows if he’d be able to come back one day like others who had died in this land? No, he needed to say it one more time, in this body, in this life. To his light in the darkness.

Shine light into darkness
Shine light into darkness
With his final word, came his final breath, and all went still and quiet and dark. Eyes to close forever on this life, allowed the peace the man so desperately needed. Goodnight and goodbye, Dero Hodari II.

That's the way it is
That's the way it is
exit via death

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On this day, Maua had guided Talisa towards the reaches of the freeze. A lingering wind that told her that it was time to venture out where very few lions went in an effort to escape the chaos and constant structure of life amidst more than she had ever dreamed possible. Once upon a time, there had only been Vermeda Brook and a few scattered families but now there were too many in one place. Chaos had emerged and left the land that she knew to never feel like it truly held peace at its core. So getting away to the Freeze by Maua's request was somethings he easily fell into doing.

Though the closer she got the more she began to realize the reason. Perhaps she had gotten there on the tail-end of all his words but as Talisa recognized @Dero and began the quickest pace she could muster, Talisa all but slid beside him. Dero! she cried, hoping to gather his attention before he slipped into the void but she had been too late, just as she knew in the faintest breath that she could not revive him. Intuition, perhaps, that she was limited in the things that she could do but her tie to Maua was still strong.

I am here, Dero. You will not go alone. For there was many on the other side that would no doubt welcome him even if they did not know his name. Every passing was devastating but Talisa knew that her family would be there to ease him. Maua. She looked to the sky briefly as Dero began his passing, watch over this lion and make sure he finds comfort. He is loyal and he is kind, worthy of so much more but the afterlife will welcome him, as you will. Talisa took a deep breath and draped her head over his body, murmuring prayers to the male that did not deserve this fate but the years had been kind to him. They had given him a long life, one she assumed he would see as fulfilled even if death grasped at him.

Using my Level 3 Cleric Perk
Can ferry a newly-dead character into being an Idol once per IC year (feb y12)

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ooc: changing his table since this one seemed fitting for him to rise again lol

There was nothing for a long time, or perhaps it was merely seconds. The moment his life left his body, all sense of time and space was lost to the Hodari. It was like being lost in the mist again, except this time it was nothing but pitch blackness instead of the billowing wisps of white. His soul was content to simply slip away into the abyss, as if it had any other option in these lands, but just as the dark beast began to drift away, something managed to break through the veil. A sound? Dero could barely hear it. It was as if he was hearing something while under water. A name muffled against the wall between living and dead.

The tiniest of cracks in the wall let a sliver of light pass through. I am here, Dero. Again, the voice was muffled, but slightly more recognizable than before. You will not go alone. Ah, that was nice of her, whoever she was, to keep him company as his body passed on into the next phase. Dero would never admit it, but he never wished to die alone like this. Not like anyone planned for these kinds of things to happen. He could take comfort in this kind soul's presence. Maybe she'd even be able to at least tell his family about his passing.

He was ready to pass into the void now, whatever lay on the other side of this life. The battered man would never expect himself to stay in Amaryllis like so many others. He'd hardly made a place for himself here while others had done so much more to deserve their eternal light. If his son could not be immortalized in these lands, what chance was there for Dero? Then again, somehow his own mother had made her way into Maua's graces despite never setting a paw onto this foreign soil. Long ago, Dero had given up trying to understand the afterlife. Come what may.

Something, though, told him to open his eyes. Expecting to find the emptiness of death, the Hodari was in utter shock to lay his eyes upon... well, upon himself. The physical body of what was once Dero Hodari lay crumpled on the ledge of the mountain. A smaller woman of chocolate hues lay with her head draped over him. That must be who he had heard. It took a second, but the dark man did eventually recognize the young woman as a Valour. It had been thanks to Nymeria that Dero had lived at all in Amaryllis, and now it would be thanks to her kin that he was able to still be around for his family as he finally realized what was happening. "Talisa," his voice spoke softly as a translucent image of the man came into view in front of her, paws lightly coming to stand at the edge of the rocky plateau. "Thank you." The Hodari could find little else to say, hoping that his tone and expression would convey his sincere gratitude.

Talisa's heart burned in the aftermath of her words. A tempestuous storm brewing in her mind and in her heart, nearly choking the air out of her lung's grasp. Knowing that there was only so much spiritual strength she had in her over this last year but she hoped that Maua would hear her and give her yet another small gift.

As the seconds passed on she could tell that the body below her was growing more and more stiff, colder with every minute. The cold around them was doing well to preserve but as a Valour, they as a family had given @Dero's family shelter and comfort throughout the years and this was the least that she could do for a friend.

So when she heard a voice, her head immediately lifted and looked from left to right before turning her head over her shoulder. A deep breath exiting her lips as she breathed that great sigh of relief, Dero.. I... I'm so sorry. That I did not get here sooner. That you were alone when it happened. There were a lot of apologies that she felt were lingering in her sorry. Words that she couldn't begin to piece together but knowing that none of it would help them now. His family would need to know what had happened...

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The old man simply shook his head lightly at the younger woman's apology, all the while holding a gentle smile across his features. "Don't be, Talisa," the Hodari mildly chided with a lilt of a laugh in his voice. "We all must die someday." A fact they all knew too well. Dero was fortunate enough to have lived this long at all, even if in his last few years he was not the soundest of mind. Now, though, it was as if the haze had been lifted. Even if the elder still bore his battle-earned scars in this translucent state, his head was as clear as the crisp mountain air and as sharp as its jagged peaks. It was as if Maua picked all the best parts of him to keep in this state, all the badges he earned over his lifetime. To leave the man in an eternal state of fogginess would be torment for more than just himself.

Dero did realize, however, how sudden this departure might be for his family. He didn't get to say a proper goodbye, hug his loved ones one more time, give his wife one last kiss. Thanks to @Talisa, though, at least he had the chance to still be around. The elder stepped closer, just a touch, briefly examining his own physical form laid lifeless on the cold ground. He'd really dwindled, hadn't he? Barely more than skin and bones with a dull and dusty coat; a far cry from the man he had been in his prime of life. It was for the best, the Hodari convinced himself of it with a silent nod. Bound to happen sooner or later, and perhaps it was best that his family didn't see him like this in the end. Then, his gaze caught that of the trinket that had brought his ailing mind all the way out here in the first place. The spirit lowered his crown, giving a gentle sniff towards the bruised flower and finding surprise in still being able to smell it faintly. It was broken, missing petals, but still somewhat intact to pass as a flower. As he looked back to the Valour, Dero could already feel himself fading. "Can you... can you take this back with you? ... Please, give it to Hanneth for me?" There was a sadness that coated the man's words, knowing that he could not take it himself now. Nor was the flower particularly pretty anymore, but it was his final gift all the same.

TRIGGER WARNING!
This content might touch on topics that are sensitive or triggering for some readers. Trigger Warning for mentions of spouse death.


His scent left the Summit but Hanneth didn't think too much of it at first. He came and went as she did though she knew that his mind was struggling more and more. She worried for him and had found some herbs to hopefully help with getting him to eat more. She had been working on blending them together when she noticed that the time had ticked by and he had not returned. Worry settled into her bones.

She left the summit, hoping that this was just Dero getting lost and nothing more but there was something in her that drove her forward. She followed the faint scent trail that she knew was him, all their time together had allowed her to know where he was no matter what. At least that is how it felt to her, her soul seemed to know. She picked up her pace, worry edging into panic as she didn't see him anywhere. His tall dark body would stand out against the snow with ease.


The scent of @Talisa reached her, mixing with @Dero's but stronger and Hanneth decided to follow it. Maybe Dero had come across her while out and offered to walk with her. It was something he would have done in his younger years and maybe the crisp air had caused him to decide to do it again. She hoped. Finally, she spotted lions. She could see Talisa bent over and Hanneth could see the dark body of her husband against the snow. Hanneth's breath hitched and she knew what this was. The sting of her tears pushed against her eyes and she moved forward slowly, she didn't hear Talisa's words but the body didn't move. She knew that someday, they would be separated by death. She had hoped it would be him first, to spare him the suffering of losing two wives before him. It didn't make it any easier.

Hanneth stopped and looked back toward the Summit for a moment, it wasn't that long ago that her life was settled and she was enjoying what they were making of their lives here. She looked back toward Talisa and Dero. Now, it was all shattered. With a shuttering breath, she started moving forward again. Hanneth didn't know how it worked to get a soul to the other side here. She knew once before and she knew that souls were able to remain here, to be at peace, and to find their place but would that be offered to Dero? Would it be offered to her?

Her head hung down as she neared, her eyes fixed on the snow, unable to let Talisa know that she was there. Unable to face her husband's body just yet as the scent of him washed over her. She let the familiar scent settle her for a moment, taking in the last bits of him. She could almost feel his warmth as if he was standing with her again. She could hear his voice as it had been in his prime and her heart leaped as she looked up quickly. She didn't find Dero standing, at least not in the way her heart hoped for. Still, he was there, he had crossed and remained. While she couldn't be with him every day, she could still find him. She could join him in her own death.

Dero and Talisa hadn't noticed her yet and as he asked Talisa to bring something to her, she finally moved closer, spotting the flower, and the tears she had been holding back flooded forward. She knew the flower. She remembered when he had given her the flower the first time. Her mismatched gaze looked up at @Dero's spirit with a warm but strained smile. Nitakupenda daima. I will love you always. She spoke to him, her eyes tracing over his spirit form before she picked the flower up and stepped next to his body. She nuzzled his head softly and kissed him on the cheek. She set the flower on his shoulder, unsure if she would take it with her or let it remain with his body. Something to tie them together. Maybe in the spring, these flowers would grow here, fed by his body and a reminder for all who saw that death wasn't the end. They had spent so long together that she didn't know how to be without him. She sat next to his body, even though life had worn him down and had pulled so much from his body, he still looked as handsome as he did the day she first met him. She smiled up at him as the tears soaked her cheeks. Are you in any more pain my love? She asked him in the common tongue so Talisa didn't feel left out.

Hanneth looked at @Talisa, a soft smile on her lips. Thank you for finding him. For being here my friend. For helping him. Hanneth didn't know much about how Maua worked but she was aware that Talisa and her family did. If Dero was here with them in this way, she didn't doubt that the lioness with them had something to do with it. She could only hope she would have time to repay the kindness in some way. Hanneth could feel the weight of the news she would have to share with their family start to push in on the edges of her mind but for now, for this moment, she would enjoy the gift that she was given to be able to talk with him after life. She looked back at him. Can you tell if you will remain here or if the Grotto will be your home? Hanneth didn't know how the afterlife was attached to the lands. Before it had been a tree and to summon someone away took a lot of strength and training but she had no idea how it might work here. She wasn't sure if Dero would know either. Her heart ached as she looked at him, feeling the chill from his body beside her, it was a little unnerving but mostly she felt the crushing weight of the physical lost of her love.

Table by Amanda | Image by Drifty (scars added with permission) | Background from unsplash

Even with @Dero's encouraging words, she could not help but feel as though she could have noticed sooner. Perhaps this had been Maua's plan all along for surely they knew what they were doing and when it was someone's true time. Though as he moved as the spirit does towards a very bruised flower with a few missing petals, her jaw clenches and she nods. It only took a second for her head to raise a little bit at the light noise coming from nearby and her head turns over her shoulder to see @Hanneth approach as though a tether had pulled her here.

While the Sovereign didn't know the language that they shared, Talisa could almost feel their meaning. Even as they shared their most intimate moments, she was struggling with keeping the tears from escaping her eyes. Feeling as though she was witnessing what would become of her own sacred marriage. The one that she had discovered upon first touch and had nurtured and grown from a tiny spark to a wildfire. Hurting because she knew that it was not so far away that she would be in Hanneth's position.

So when the golden woman looked to her she inhaled sharply and cut back her tears but she knew that they would understand. Death was a terrible thing even if there was an afterlife to belong to and it was no easy challenge to be spiritually (or physically) separated from your soulmate. With a swallow she nodded her head, of course. Your family has been with us a long time, it was my honor. And would continue to be. For she would do whatever was necessary to keep family's together.

As for the rest, she allowed them as much privacy as she could give them without having been told that she could leave. Giving them space and allowing her own mind to slip into envisioning every good memory that she had wife her wife and treasuring it so that she might led her sad tears hold steady.

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The whole while, he could feel himself fading. This was not meant to be his permanent home, but somehow Dero felt that he'd be able to venture more than just the grotto. It wasn't a moment after he asked @Talisa to take the flower did @Hanneth emerge before his eyes. The old man nearly winced, never wishing for his wife to see him physically in such a state. "Daima na milele" Always and forever, he murmured behind a teary smile. It was one thing to know they would be reunited someday in the afterlife, but in the meantime, it was hell to be apart.

Back to the common tongue, however, the dark lion nodded as he took a step closer towards his wife. "Only in my pain of being apart from you." It was cheesy, but truthful. The old lion was free of any physical pain and any mental fog, but there was nothing that could fix the pain of being apart from his wife. "But don't think that means you need to join me anytime soon," Dero half-smirked. "Amani still needs you." And he believed it wholeheartedly. He never meant to leave he so young. "Tell her I'm sorry," the socked elder added. None of this had been good timing, but when did death ever wait for good timing?

He wouldn't completely forget about Talisa, though, as Hannah acknowledged the queen's assistance in this whole thing. Dero shifted his gaze intently upon the younger lioness while taking a deep breath "If it wasn't for Nymeria, I wouldn't have had the chance to live in Amaryllis as long as I had. And if not for you, Talisa, I'd be little more than a whisper in the wind now. I will always be here for your family, from now and always, just as you have been here for mine. Please, tell your children, all your kin, if they need the guidance or protection of the afterlife, I am always here for them." And again, the dark Hodari meant it genuinely. If not for the Valor, the Hodari would not have survived in the first place.

It was then that Dero looked back to his wife, his image flickering before her very eyes. "I can't stay here," he whispered with a step closer, a vague answer to her question about staying here or in the grotto. "But I will find you again." Dero attempted to press he head against her own, hopeful she could somehow feel it before finally disappearing altogether. "I love you," heard in his wake.

exit dero

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