The warmth of spring cradled him as he climbed, paws padding softly against the slippery rocks. He had broken away from Scilla early that morning in order to secure himself a seat on top of the world, exchanging the sand for a much less forgiving surface. Although his muscles had not entirely recovered from the shark attack, he knew no better way to rehabilitate them from their atrophied state than to simply use them. It was simple enough to climb a mountain, and Nero had found it relatively relaxing as the faintest traces of winter tickled his face. He knew as the sun rose the frost and crisp breeze would fade away, but he enjoyed them while they lasted and sucked in a deep breath as he hoisted himself up onto a small ledge. Here he would watch the sunrise, but for now, he simply watched as the constellations began to fade and the sunbeams gave chase to the navy sky above.

@Saga

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she can't help but follow his trail when she finds it. there's a lingering worry in her chest for her albino son - for his wounds and also for what he will do when she tells him about asteria - and saga is not intent on leaving the boy to his own devices for long outside the safety of the pride. so she ghosts after the scent that leads upwards, towards the top of the falls, the hushed lullaby of the sea replaced by the crashing of the freshwater. the sun is chasing the stars away entirely by the time she pulls herself up beside her son and finds a place at his side, leaning to rub her cheek along his shoulder if he'll let her. he's still so much smaller than she is, but she finds it endearing. "@Nero," she murmurs softly, not wanting to break the decidedly soft vibe the morning has. she sighs, ears tipping back against her skull and eye slipping closed. she doesn't want to do this because if she loses him, too, she's not sure she'll be able to hold tight to any shred of self control. "we need to talk."

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Nero took a moment to simply exist. He let his eyes fall shut and envisioned a world where he lay by his parents every single night, where he guarded his siblings and wrestled and learn alongside of them. There was no pain, no grief, no nothing -- and he allowed himself that tiny sliver of selfishness. To simply exist for a breath without anything amiss, to perfect the lies he could convince himself of after enough repetition. He knew when he opened his eyes there would be no parents, no siblings, but while they were closed.. well, everything was as it should have been.

A voice disconnected his dream too soon, but it wasn't someone he could be upset with for more than a fleeting moment. As observant as he once thought himself to be, he had failed to notice @Saga and her pursuit of him. Why she hadn't stopped him from leaving the territory was another thing altogether, but he tilted his head towards her as she explained they needed to talk.

"We don't have to. We could just sit and enjoy the sunshine." Because whatever she had to say, he was certain it wouldn't be pleasant. Nero could take a guess, though. "I already know," he murmured, gladly accepting any morsel of affection she had to offer. "I think I understand both sides, but.." his brows knitted together in a peak, offering her the chance to fill in the blanks if she wished to do so. "It's okay, Mom." It was okay to not be strong all the time.

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he deflects her attempt to talk with an ease that makes her both proud and worried. he's so young - and, vellen, she's dragged him into a world of chaos and pain and endless violence. she's selfish enough not to regret it but she does feel regret that it has to be this way. not enough to tell him to leave or bid him to go find alizabeth and stick with her. no, no saga was not a selfless creature. her mouth is dry and she swallows the hard lump that lurks in her throat, willing to ignore the looming issue of asteria.

but, as always, nero is observant. he knows what she was going to say. and she practically braces for the anger or the insults - vellen knows asteria had been free with them - but he just frowns lightly, the skin between his brows wrinkling. her eye softens, the weariness leaking through that stoic mask she's so wont to wear.

@Nero tells her it's okay and she feels the back of her eye burn. rapidly, she blinks, jaw tightening, as she fights the urge to break apart at that crumble of affection, of acceptance and understanding. her shoulders sag and she lays her cheek against his shoulder, watching the steadily rising sun spread its pink and orange rays across the country. "you're too aware." she murmurs softly, wishing that he'd had the chance to be a kid. "are you sorry i came back for you?" she asks, finally, unwilling to pull away from him to look in his face. saga stays where she is, head gently resting against him, unless ( or until ) he pulls away.

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More than anything else, Nero knew his mother's secret. He knew that she was not simply a callous, wicked woman who only saw the world with blinders -- he knew that she was not incapable of mistakes. Somewhere along the line, he wondered if even @Saga had forgotten she was allowed to simply be.. herself. Nero saw a woman with a thousand pounds of stress and grief and suffering on her, a yoke across her back with unrealistic weight. He saw a woman unwilling to let anyone else shoulder some of the weight, a woman who kept herself on a short leash even when she deserved some freedom to stretch and roam. He saw her for who she was, he liked to think, and hoped it was something he was allowed to see.. but at the same time, he wondered how no one else did.

He craned his neck to peer back at her as she relaxed against him. Nero reached out to gently nose her cheek, a thin smile on his lips. "Maybe," he admitted with a light shrug so as to not displace her from his side. The question she posed next was surprising, but not something he had any hesitance about answering. "No. Not at all." Nero turned to gaze back out over the horizon, admiring the shifting hues. "From three months old I knew you were my mother. It was my own fault that I went with the others and it was not your fault you let me go. I've been.. too harsh with you in the past, blaming you because I didn't want to accept I had done it to myself." And oh boy, had he done it to himself. "But I don't regret you coming. I will never regret it. You're my mom, you always have been." She needed to hear it now more than ever, he thought, with the wounds still so fresh on her heart. "I'd ask if you were sorry you came for me, but I'm fantastic and I know you couldn't possibly regret it." Nero tipped his muzzle upwards in a snobby fashion, peering back from the corner of his eyes to see if she would so much as crack a smile.

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his head shifts back and she lifts hers enough to accommodate the motion, half expecting him to pull away. but his nose brushes her cheek and he just keeps talking. a faint smile rests on her lips and she, greedily, remains against him, soaking up the affection. it's so rare that she ( they ) get a chance to be. he's too sweet a boy and she wonders absently if she's going to ruin that. ruin him - and when he promises he doesn't regret it she wonders if he should. if she should. obviously the gang hadn't been the right place for him, not when he dragged himself about with a broken leg and was practically starving without them noticing, but was scilla better? she's got her claws in him now and can't imagine letting go... but, vellen, would it be best if she did? she wishes she were good enough, brave enough, to find out. she is not. @Nero shoulders the blame, almost abruptly, before shifting to make a joke. her lips turn down at the corners and she pulls her head back enough that she can look up at him clearly with her remaining eye. he's feigning snobbishness and she snorts in amusement. the worry doesn't clear, however, and she leans forward to press her own nose against his cheek. "you are, you know." she murmurs, eye closing and heart swelling. "fantastic, i mean." and then she pulls back with a soft purr, peering thoughtfully at him. "i should've been more aware. you were just a kid. you still are." she taunts lightly, lifting a paw to bounce it gently against his shoulder.

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Nero was happy to simply sit there and drink it all in. He wanted nothing more than to freeze the moment and stay there forever, a son and mother simply existing. No drama, no tears, no nothing -- just a comfortable silence and the knowledge that the other was there. He had done his best to lighten the mood with a joke, but hearing @Saga admit that he was fantastic made his cheeks rosy with embarrassment. Nero knew he was anything but fantastic, and hearing his mother sing his praise only made him cling harder to that thought. There wasn't anything fantastic about him whatsoever -- he was small in stature, prone to sunburn, his moods were erratic. He couldn't keep a friend to save his goddamn life, and the proof of that was in Asteria leaving the lagoon. He chewed the inside of his cheek in thought, but he said nothing until he felt her paw bounce off his shoulder.

"I guess so. I don't feel like a kid.. or an adult." Nero heaved a thoughtful sigh. "At what point are you supposed to feel one over the other?" He'd never gotten the chance to be a kid, to experience what it was like to be carefree and excited. Maybe he'd just been forced to grow up too soon. Maybe this was what adults felt like.

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she chuckles. "truth be told, i'm not really sure, elskan." darling she says with a little frown. she reflects back on her own childhood, though her thoughts dodge around the most unpleasant bits of it, and rolls one shoulder in a mild shrug. when did any of them know when they were adult? there's never a defining moment. in her experience when the sigrún wake from their ceremony as yearlings they are treated as adults. but they are youthful, hasty. vellen may have tested their wills at that age but the world, typically has not. it happens in slow moments, experiences bleeding through, until one day when you wake up you no longer remember what it is to play in the forest with weightless shoulders and chase your daydreams. you wake and you realize that, some time along the way, you simply are. she sighs softly. "no one really knows when they're.... anything, @Nero." she admits with a twitch of her lips. "most adults pretend they have their shit in order. but we're usually lying."

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"That's not what I would call reassuring," he drawled sarcastically, rolling his eye in a boyishly teasing way. The last thing he wanted was confirmation that no one knew what they were doing. Above anyone else, he assumed Saga had a grip on things, but there she was admitting that most adults were lying. He couldn't tell if it was an admission or something else, but Nero was content to pretend otherwise. Ignorance was bliss and he preferred to stay as fucking oblivious as possible -- just like with Asteria. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right? Avoiding the topic altogether was a surefire way not to get back into his feelings over having lost a friend. Two, probably. He could only imagine Hiccup turning on him, too. He had always been Asteria's friend first and that.. was fine, he knew, it just meant that Nero was alone again. It wasn't surprising anymore.

"Well, I'll figure it out." Not today, but another time. Maybe. He hoped. "We can go home now. The sun is boring once it's up " Nero slipped from the rock and brushed his head beneath her chin, gently nosing her cheek before turning to lead the way back to their sandy shores.

exit

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she chuckles and leans over to kiss his cheek. "confidence makes it easy to feel like you're in charge." she promises, leaning back with a warm smile. she adores the boy and, not for the first time, she regrets having let him go with bhaskar at all. they could have had so many simple moments like these in his youth, before her life became so complicated. before his got tied up in so many others'. before either of them had asteria lingering over their heads. she knows that he knows, but not really how he feels about it - but she's content to let him ignore it. she doesn't exactly have the best coping mechanisms, either; one thing they have in common, apparently. the sun stretches lazily in the sky, now, and there's a little less beauty in it. the albino pops to his feet and coaxes her away with a brush on her cheek. she snorts as she rises, gently bumping her shoulder against his hips. "you're quite cheeky, you know." she faux-complains, padding a few steps ahead of him to peer over her shoulder. "wherever do you get the attitude?" she teases, tail tip flipping to and fro. between she and alizabeth, perhaps they had a little something to do with that. or maybe that was all @Nero. exit

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