OOC NOTE: Set the day after HIS MERCY, HIS WRATH (TW for drowning mention).

He was not a rested man.

Visions, nightmares, plagued him in the aftermath. If he failed as a Jarl then perhaps he could, at least, throw himself into maintaining the pride; a safe haven for his kin, one he had earned through tooth and claw. So far he had not seen either of his wives - an element of him avoiding them, perhaps, and them avoiding him. @Desdemona had always seemed a little more dubious on the harsher realities of the Sigrún, and @Nadia... as iron-clad as she was, they were her children that he'd thrown into awaiting jaws.

But he could not dance around it - around them - forever. He could avoid his siblings, his nieces and nephews, but not them; his life partners, and the mothers of his children. And so, at a point where he could be certain that none of the elder brood were around, he would make his way back into the family den, expecting to see both lionesses there nursing their newest children.

Perhaps they would not want to see him - a haggard, wasted shadow of a man, strained and chewed up and spat out and pathetic. Still, he remained in the doorway, deliberately remaining silent and keeping back until one of the lionesses spoke.

irish

The events of the drowning were weighing heavily on Nadia's shoulders but she knew the only other individual to quite possibly be feeling worse then herself was @Magnus. Admittedly they had been avoiding one another and it wasn't because she was angry with him, she was still processing everything herself. She laid in silence alongside @Desdemona, watching her younger children as they nursed contentedly. How fragile they all seemed in this moment, especially knowing that eventually they would see the same fate as their elder siblings before them. An ear would flick at the sound of movement at the mouth of her den and with the arrival of Magnus came a soft smile at the corners of her lips. "Come in then, don't act like a stranger." She said softly to him, reaching out with a forepaw to pat the ground gently beside her. "They will be okay Magnus." She said, speaking of their children then. Even though things had gutted her to her core she believed inherently that her children would in time be okay once more. But now in this moment she needed to be sure that @Magnus would be okay.

she dreamt about it.

she would scream and scream until her throat felt raw, unable to move as she stood on the shore. she felt as helpless as a newborn whelp, discarded aside to witness the turmoil as the waves crashed over the heads of her stepchildren. then, she would blink and magnus was there with their newborns -

tender and fragile and loss to the ocean not to return as his family shouted curses and foreign tongued prayers into the sea spray. sacrificing them to his shapeless, snarling god that curled his lip in delight.

desdemona had found more solace in @Nadia than she could imagine. as comfortably as she could with her litter nursing, she rocked herself against the sovereigness, back to her side and head tilted back to rest gently at her shoulder. even in their silence and the soft mewls of their children, she was a pillar of support. and she figured that nadia needed even more soothing than she.

the light that was carried into the den was momentarily filtered and desdemona lifts her head, momentarily upset that her lazy sunning had been ruined. though, when she sees @Magnus standing there, she swallows thickly, pressing away the fears and questions that threaten to pour forth.

instead, nadia urges him forward and she watches the dust settle where the woman ushers for him to sit on her opposite side. you didn't come home last night, desdemona says, never the best at holding her tongue and lacking much of the tact that nadia constantly exudes even with her ruffled emotions. it isn't accusing, a casual observation made obvious and her brow furrows with concern, clearly upset at his absence after such a - heart-wrenching experience. she doesn't want to talk about it but wonders how long they can truly dance around it.we were worried.

the calico has no shame speaking for them both and while she has come to fear magnus' traditions ( oh, how she wishes he would have told her more ) and the cruelty that has bred his family's strength, she cannot lead herself to hate the man she so desperately loves.

and for that, she is slight with herself.

They were his ports in the storm - there was no denying that, not that he would dare ever. And while @Nadia seemed calm - eerily so - and welcoming, @Desdemona was a little more... frank. Still, both made themselves clear, and - deeming it safe enough to approach - Magnus would do just that. He pressed forward into the shadows, lowering his rump down in the spot gestured to him and taking a moment to stare down at the multiple children. Children that, one day, would be drowned too. "I know," he rumbled in idle affirmation to the observation of his younger spouse.

There was a long, and deliberate pause.

Magnus' brows furrowed heavily, posture beginning to sag under its burden; the weight on the world on his shoulders, always the weight of the world on his shoulders. These four walls were the only place where he could speak and act freely - his wives, both of them, the only audience he knew wouldn't judge. So why did he still feel so oppressed? Attention shifted up first to Nadia. "The boys will be." He could say that for certainty - Myrkvi and Rasmus had both passed their drownings, though certainly not unscathed, without sacrilege. The girls? "But Voluspa, Hrefna... I fear for them." A pause - it felt wrong to confess such a thing; Magnus had feared very little before this point. Fatherhood had compromised him emotionally.

It had weakened him.

"I needed space to think. Time." His confession came out in a frustrated rasp, and - leaning back against the rock wall - his age became ever-more apparent. The hard lines etched into his face were prevalent here, even within the shadows of their family den. "I did not mean to make you both worry."

irish

She didn't blame @Magnus for his fears, they were the very same thoughts that she too had had. But in the same time Nadia was hopeful that Hrefna and Voluspa could be forgiven for what they had done, lest they be exiled from the family entirely. Certainly there had to be a solution to this monumental problem, they just needed to figure out what it was. If it came down to it Nadia would never turn a cold shoulder to her girls, she simply couldn't do it. Her natural instincts as a mother came before anything else and if that made her a weaker individual then so be it. "They can have another ceremony.. one that won't be interrupted. We will make it a small gathering of only our most trusted individuals. It will be different." She hoped to reassure him while casting a glance towards @Desdemona. This was only the beginning, their youngest would go through the exact same thing and perhaps their drownings would go even worse. They needed to prepare themselves now for whatever may lie ahead of them. "We are glad to have you back here with us.. but don't be a stranger. Whatever it is, we can work through it together." She said to him then, dark eyes watching him closely as she leaned against Des for comfort.

the shadow of a man that gathers himself to join them concerns her. desdemona watches him, toppled over with responsibility for his pride and concern for his family. she thinks to the drowning and when hrefna had ruined something sacred, the way that he shouted and barked at them words that she could not understand, but knew scorched through flesh and bone. he was different today — fur and skin over what seemed to be a husk.

nadia attempts to soothe his worry for the girls, but the idea of yet another dreadful ceremony brings the hair on her spine to rise. the woman hopes to settle herself, easing into @Nadia more as she leans against her, praying that it hides the alarm that prickles over her pelt. desdemona doesn't understand the repercussions of this failed drowning, but bides her tongue, deciding not to ask — rather, not wanting to know ( even still, her ignorance is nowhere close to blissful ).

together. desdemona parrots, her tone a little more forthright, desperately wanting and needing @Magnus to understand that they were there for him. whatever this is that has overcome him, she doesn't like it. you have the greatest support system here in amaryllis. she looks from him to the pile of cubs that both she and nadia nurse and hums a trill of a purr in her throat.

is there anything that we can do for you, magnus? she's always been good on her word, eager to please, to impress the sigrun man and that hasn't stopped, even in the comfortable confines of marriage. there's a slight waggle of brow, but she leaves that up to interpretation for the both of them, not wanting to take too much away from the seriousness of their conversation surrounding their children.