Some time had been spent figuring out exactly what he was still capable of. Seemed he no longer needed to eat or sleep, so that left plenty of time for experimentation. For now, it was new and exciting, though he supposed it would soon become frustrating the moment he found he couldn't rush off and join some fight or another. Hm. He'd deal with that as it happened, and trust his family could take care of themselves, and each other.

He'd wandered, testing his boundaries, and found them satisfactory. He could go farther than expected, and the jungle was a very pleasant area to be tethered to. It also meant he could actively haunt the area outside Firnen which was a huge plus. And Kireena's little band had made their place in Aniadar, so he hoped that meant his family might be found in the area, if not permanently, then often.

Speaking of family.

He'd spotted her through the trees, and left himself invisible as he approached. The problem was how to reveal himself without giving her a heart attack or something. Ryker didn't really worry about getting himself smacked anymore - he might have been solidish, but he'd found if he pressed too hard he still passed right through things.

Hey. Cautious, in his own way. Ryker would appear from behind a large tree, becoming progressively visible from head to tail as he stepped into the open. Don't panic, you're not crazy.

@Levana

No shackles on the demon in me

I'd rather be dead than average

code by corvus

The days had dragged on, she had let Lucifer bring home the thing that had been so graciously given by Ludvine, though she told him to keep it away from her for awhile, and now she was making her way through the days without trying to dwell on things. She spent time with the children, and Kireena, who she now would claim as more of a sister to her, of course she also spent time with her sister and mother. Now the piebald lioness shifted through the foliage, sighing softly as she did so, the jungle territory was a reminder everyday of all she'd lost, but it was also something that she used as a way of think all she could gain back.

She was a good liar though, a good pretender, she'd agreed with Kireenas that first night once Ryker had left them, she wasn't going to do something stupid, not with her babies needing her, but to act like she was okay with it all,n that she was okay being the only head of the family, it was a act, one that if someone were to see the way she whimpered and cried in her sleep, they'd know immediately she was only just masking her trauma.

Hey.

She paused for a moment, heart fluttering, she shakes her head, trying to clear it, then she hears again.

Don't panic, you're not crazy.

She looks back, scowling a bit, ""Go away, I don't need more ghosts to haunt my mind."" She warns the assumed hallucination, turning to continue her trek.

Hm. Okay. Yeah. Should have expected that. If their roles were reversed, and she was the dead one, and he'd been confronted with her ghost, he probably would have assumed something had seriously gone wrong with his brain. Still, he shrugged, letting his gaze wander across their surroundings, Technically, I think I'm haunting the jungle. He didn't seem able to move into the plains, or cross into either Firnen or Ecrosia. Though, he'd briefly popped up in a space he didn't recognize, having never actually visited the spirit grotto while alive. And...maybe some space behind, like, a waterfall? Dunno what that is. He liked the jungle better, anyway.

As she moved, he'd stroll along beside her, Did she keep her word? He asked after span of silence, The one who stole Firnen? Had he ever gotten her name? Had she delivered his head as requested? Almost as importantly - could he trust his family not to break the truce first?

A brow arched at his wife (widow?), You're not planning anything stupid, are you? Like revenge? She wasn't plotting to do something that would void the deal he'd gone to all the trouble to secure, was she? Something that would leave their cubs orphaned or dead?

No shackles on the demon in me

I'd rather be dead than average

code by corvus

It kept speaking to her and she kept her pace, her ears flicking as she listened, she was not happy this was how her mind was deciding this was how it was dealing with her husbands loss but she would take it in stride she guessed. A flicker of annoyance briefly shot in her eyes before she shook her coat out and tried to ignore him even as he moved in step with her.

When he questions about Ludivine, she shrugs, ""For now. Who knows how long it'll last though."" She didn't trust the words of her enemies, nor did she trust Wolfbron, ""Lucifer got your head."" She scowled, she'd held her head up, and kept herself together when her husbands head had been on display for their eyes, but she'd allowed her son to keep it, just as long as it was away from her. She had kept herself together, which was more than she could say for her daughter who she felt bad about for knocking sense into her, but they couldn't show weakness, and Abbadon would just have to learn.

When he questioned her own motives she felt her fur rise just as her temper did, and for a moment she didn't care that it was just a hallucination, she whirled on him, her nose and lips wrinkled as she snarled in her face, ""Of course not, I wouldn't do anything like that, not when MY children need me the most."" Even if he were just a hallucination, she hoped her words hurt, she hoped the venom she spit stuck in deep.

One of the worse parts of all this was the fact that if that woman did break her word he...really couldn't do shit about it, himself. But he'd never claimed this had been a perfect plan. He did perk up a bit, in contrast to her scowl, at the mention of Lucifer, Oh good, at least she could be trusted to carry out a last request. He'd been worried about that. I should find him and explain.... Assuming the boy was in the jungle somewhere. Ryker had always assumed he'd end up with his own father's skull, but it didn't seem like that would be happening now considering the old bastard had managed to outlive him.

Those thoughts stalled as she turned on him, anger overtaking her face, and he frowned - an expression which deepened as she snarled. Our. Clipped with a click of fangs, a terse correction, because he'd be damned if he'd gone to such extreme lengths just to be written out of their lives now. Our kids do need you, so they don't end up like- He cut himself off before he could finish the sentence. Like Haider, like Iskra. Insolent little shits who didn't know how to pick their battles. You're the better parent, @Levana, always were. The one who could be soft and loving and supportive while Ryker could only manage to punish and correct and offer questionable lessons in violence and poison.

I was going to end up dead one way or another, you know. Hunted or attacked on sight, he'd lose eventually. Seemed better to go out on my own terms, and keep you all safe in the process. Or...safeer, anyway. Sorry I sprang it on you all like that, but if we'd talked about it ahead of time, you'd have talked me out of it, and I couldn't live like a fucking coward, watching every shadow for teeth. His tail lashed; the Dieudonné were many, and he was only one.

No shackles on the demon in me

I'd rather be dead than average

code by corvus

All it took was him declaring their children, as in plural, the ones they created together, for her anger to drop, her face falls, her lip trembles as she looks at him, ears pin back as he speaks about her being the better parent, her steps had halted when she'd swing around at him, and now she sunk to the ground, only held up by her front legs. Her head lowers and her shoulders sag, and it's not long before she feels the burning choked feeling as tears form and she stifles a sob.

She listened as he explained himself, she'd been strong for days now, had picked up the pieces for her children and to help Kireena, but it came crashing down upon her like a meteor, ""I'm not the better one, they deserved both of us..."" She choked out, her cheeks becoming drenched as tears held back began freely flowing, ""I'd just gotten everything back, we were going to do it right this time..""

His explanation of keeping them safe, of the fact that she would have talked him out of it, of him being a coward, it hit her in all the right and wrong places, she let out a choked cry, wishing she could lash out at him, ""How can you be so selfish and so selfless at the same time! Why can't I fucking hate you for breaking me! "" Emerald green eyes looked up finally at him, her waterline about to let another cascade of tears, she shakes her head and closes her eyes, sniffling.

This sort of emotional display...while understandable was not something he'd ever really learned to handle. All he could do was stand in silence as she broke down, and lean forward to try and press his forehead to hers. A solid, touchable, presence, perhaps, but without the warmth of life; it was only after he moved that he wondered if it would be more of a comfort or only make things worse.

Either way, he'd sit afterward, with a sigh that became a hum toward the end, Well, apparently I'm still here somehow. He frowned lightly, There were stories passed along about a great-grandfather who cheated death a few times, but we thought that's all they were. Just stories about the strength of the family, trying to make them out to be too much for even death to handle. It was a nice thought, but Ryker had always dismissed it as a myth. Now, he was forced to abandon his lifelong belief that death was the end of everything. The story is he managed to come back, first kind of like this, he gestured sort of vaguely at himself, then as a cub. But his father hadn't had all the details, too focused on the possibility of a literal life after death. But maybe there had been some truth to it after all.

She continued, though, and despite her tears he couldn't help the slightly incredulous little huff that escaped him. Broken? Fuck, @Levana, this isn't gonna break you, I'm not sure anything really can. There was fond amusement in his words - he'd watched her struggle through losing her entire family, and she'd come out stronger at the end. Ryker had never experienced grief, not really. All the family he cared for was still alive as far as he knew. Maybe it felt like it would be too much, but he believed she'd heal and bounce back in time. And it's not like I'm gone gone, anyway. As long as you guys stick around the jungle I'll still be able to help with the cubs, to an extent. Maybe not the physical stuff like hunting and teaching them to fight, but he could still be there.

No shackles on the demon in me

I'd rather be dead than average

code by corvus

She doesn't expect to feel a thing when he steps.forward to brush his forehead upon hers but she swears she feels pressure, not warmth, but something is there, her head gently lowers to press the top of her skull to his muzzle.

She didn't move from her close position to the haunting spectre, though she still wondered if something in her brain had snapped finally. She hears him speak and furrows her brow a bit before looking at him, ""Well, hopefully one day we can come back to this world anew and find each other again..."" She said quietly, she had swore to him she'd find him in the after life, maybe she would find him in another life, where things could be different but they could be together again, until then, she would settle for this.

He huffs and she sniffles, wiping her tears away with a shaky paw, ""Don't try to butter me up now asshat..."" She lets out a choked chuckle, unable to hide the smile that had fought it's way into her lips, he brings up his points and she gives a small sigh, what could she say now?

To return and live another life together, wouldn't that be something? The big question was whether or not he wanted to live an whole new life all over again. Was it something he could even choose for himself or were there conditions that would just force him to return to life somehow? If it was possible, there had to be others who had managed it first he could ask, but how could he even find them if there were? It was too much to really figure out quickly, and it seemed he had all the time in the world now to learn what he could, so he wouldn't really dwell on it too long. Hm, yeah, or maybe you'll end up like I am now and we can pester infinite generations of grandcubs, he offered a cheeky grin, thoroughly amused at being a sort of family ghost watching over each new generation and seeing how their little family spread and grew over the decades.

Humor faded, though didn't entirely disappear. A slight smirk lingered around the corners of his mouth and eyes, So...How much do the younger ones hate me now? Idoru, Kali, and Enoch, the younger three, had they cursed him in increasingly creative ways yet? It was hard enough to get @Levana to understand his motives, he hadn't really expected the kids to grasp the much, much, wider picture. At least not for a while. They needed to grown and learn more about the world and all the intricate little connections that wove their kind together.

No shackles on the demon in me

I'd rather be dead than average

code by corvus

She sits with him, ignoring the tumultuous emotions in her chest, her eyes watering, her heart hurting, but she tries to enjoy the moments between whatever this was, she is silent as he speaks again, because wouldn't it be something? The only man she'd ever loved, she had known from before they'd made their vows that he was her life mate and nothing would ever calm the hurt she felt. She ached for those before her that had lost their life mates, her mother, her uncles, her father, she'd never understood before what they felt and now she wished she'd never did.

His next question brings a choked chuckle from her before she pulls back a bit, ""Iddy is so angry, so confused... They're so spirited, but with time I think they'll move past it.... Enoch, he's been wandering about, but I think he's okay, he worries about me, they all do... Kali is very secretive. Abbadon is heartbroken. I don't see her much, Lucifer is angry."" She speaks softly, her eyes down at towards her paws as she feels hurt and anger swell up, she had hope for this litter, and she's trying her best, but she feels like such a failure each and every day.