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October Y13
Fall
Amaryllis' discovered prides
it's a trust fall, baby ✦
08-14-2023, 04:46 PM
Alexander had finally healed from both his fights at the Andal challenge, and he'd been at home for some time tending to the children and attempting to help build the pride from within. There had been a tournament, his brother had finally become Sovereign and his son, Heir. It was a moment of fulfillment and the beast was eager to finally make the trek to visit @Isla ♔. A soft chuff is made to call out for her as the beast arrives to at the borders of the Summit. The day was clear, if a bit chilly, but the sun cascaded down on the snow making it a beautiful pristine, glittering sight.
08-15-2023, 12:37 PM
She had been dreading this day ever since her and Anthonius' conversation. Emotions whirled through Isla's brain, too many to comprehend so quickly. But all she could really focus on was how @Alexander ♔ hadn't informed her on what sounded like one of the most important things in a Savante's world, and the Heiress was not so sure she wished to wed a man who kept secrets - no matter the severity. The Greyflood was nothing but an honest woman, and honesty was what she expected in return.
She was already exiting her den when the chuffs echoed in the chill air, causing for Isla's muscles to stiffen. Dual colored eyes glance in the direction the sound had come from, releasing a rather heavy sigh before she began the short trek toward the borders. As soon as she caught site of Alexander her expression would turn neutral, not wanting to give away what feelings she were experiencing at that moment. Instead, she draws up to the opposite side of the border and stands before him, lips tugged into a thin line while she watches him.
"How many are there, Alexander?" The question finally breaks the silence, tail tip twitching at her hocks. She steels her spine and keeps her composure, an ear flicking before she resumes. "How many have you laid with in Amaryllis? How many have bore your children?" Her eyes now narrow upon his face as she stares him directly in the eyes, two toned alight with flames watching pale blues. "And where do I fit in?" It was a challenge to not allow for her voice to creak, and as she finally came to a full close her toes would flex and claws would click at the rock surface beneath them, the snow already buffeted away by winds way before the two had come.
She was already exiting her den when the chuffs echoed in the chill air, causing for Isla's muscles to stiffen. Dual colored eyes glance in the direction the sound had come from, releasing a rather heavy sigh before she began the short trek toward the borders. As soon as she caught site of Alexander her expression would turn neutral, not wanting to give away what feelings she were experiencing at that moment. Instead, she draws up to the opposite side of the border and stands before him, lips tugged into a thin line while she watches him.
"How many are there, Alexander?" The question finally breaks the silence, tail tip twitching at her hocks. She steels her spine and keeps her composure, an ear flicking before she resumes. "How many have you laid with in Amaryllis? How many have bore your children?" Her eyes now narrow upon his face as she stares him directly in the eyes, two toned alight with flames watching pale blues. "And where do I fit in?" It was a challenge to not allow for her voice to creak, and as she finally came to a full close her toes would flex and claws would click at the rock surface beneath them, the snow already buffeted away by winds way before the two had come.
08-15-2023, 06:47 PM
Oh, he is so happy to see her. A breath of fresh air in an otherwise suffocating world. But something is amiss, she does not greet him in her usual manner, instead @Isla ♔ keeps her distance and remains on the other side of the border. Like a stranger. There is no hiding the hurt on his features at the sudden change. What had he done? Why was she so angry with him? Despite her calm composure - he could see the irritation hiding beneath her skin.
Ears sweep back as the accusations fly out of her mouth. Brows furrow heavily as his throat tightens, confusion laden on his features. "I am unsure why the history of who I have lain with up until deciding to marry you is important. I have two mates, both of which have given me two children each." The others he had lain with he had mostly not seen in months, since before he proclaimed his interest in marrying the Greyflood woman.
So why did it matter now?
"I have indulged myself, I will not lie. I have not in many months, however. I have never kept this a secret from you, I simply did not think it important. After all, it is not them I am marrying, it is you." Or so he thought. A sick, twisting feeling bubbled in his stomach at the realization that she may be building up to leave him. Brows grow even more tightly knit together, his lips pursing a bit as he fights the urge to close the distance and simply hold her.
"What is going on, Isla?"
Ears sweep back as the accusations fly out of her mouth. Brows furrow heavily as his throat tightens, confusion laden on his features. "I am unsure why the history of who I have lain with up until deciding to marry you is important. I have two mates, both of which have given me two children each." The others he had lain with he had mostly not seen in months, since before he proclaimed his interest in marrying the Greyflood woman.
So why did it matter now?
"I have indulged myself, I will not lie. I have not in many months, however. I have never kept this a secret from you, I simply did not think it important. After all, it is not them I am marrying, it is you." Or so he thought. A sick, twisting feeling bubbled in his stomach at the realization that she may be building up to leave him. Brows grow even more tightly knit together, his lips pursing a bit as he fights the urge to close the distance and simply hold her.
"What is going on, Isla?"
08-15-2023, 09:59 PM
"It IS important, Alexander." Her words are sharp, cold. Isla was a woman of honesty, wanting to know the information and facts even if it hurt her soul. Having @Alexander ♔ never tell her of even his other mates whom he had children with until now seemed to solidify what she had been contemplating. Ears twist backward as they flatten against her own skull, focusing on keeping her anger down from boiling over, like it was threatening to do. "I expect the ones I'm going to be with to be honest with me. To TELL me there are others in their life before deciding to court another." A brief pause, the woman having to bite her tongue to settle her anger.
"I am a simple woman, Alex. I don't wish for lavish gifts and I know that I won't have my significant other's attention at every waking moment of the day. But what I do ask for is that NOTHING is hidden, no matter the hurt to relive the story." The wildcat comes to a close as her jaws snap shut, tongue pushing itself to the roof of her mouth. Her thoughts were muddling together, her heart and her brain fighting an inner battle that she had not a clue on which one was going to win. She has to fight the way her lower lip wished to tremble, beginning to gnaw on it for a couple of seconds so that the sensation would go away. "Why didn't you tell me about lifemates when you KNOW that is something important to talk about? Why didn't you tell me of the others and your children?" Why did he keep her in the dark?
"I am a simple woman, Alex. I don't wish for lavish gifts and I know that I won't have my significant other's attention at every waking moment of the day. But what I do ask for is that NOTHING is hidden, no matter the hurt to relive the story." The wildcat comes to a close as her jaws snap shut, tongue pushing itself to the roof of her mouth. Her thoughts were muddling together, her heart and her brain fighting an inner battle that she had not a clue on which one was going to win. She has to fight the way her lower lip wished to tremble, beginning to gnaw on it for a couple of seconds so that the sensation would go away. "Why didn't you tell me about lifemates when you KNOW that is something important to talk about? Why didn't you tell me of the others and your children?" Why did he keep her in the dark?
This content might touch on topics that are sensitive or triggering for some readers. Trigger Warning for mentions of Filicide, Suicide, & Panic Attacks.
Alexander finds himself steeling his heart for the worst. Features do not let on the hurt each word she speaks inflicts on him. If it was so important, why didn't she ask him? He had never kept anything from her - and while yes he could have introduced her to his family sooner, she had not attempted to reach out to them, either. He, however, had met her Mother on multiple occasions. "I am not a liar. Perhaps I could have told you sooner, but it was not out of malice or malcontent that I did not." Isla continued on to explain that she was a simple woman.
It certainly did not seem it.
It was clear that his responsibilities as a leader, both of his family and his pride, was not allowing him to give her the amount of attention and priority she wanted. Confusion filtered briefly onto his face as she spoke about hidden things. He didn't understand what else she might be talking about. Finally, she spoke and revealed it - the truth of all of this. His blood ran cold, the expression on his face went from neutral to filled with dread.
Alexander could feel every nerve in his body begin to hum with the unmistakable instinct to leave. To protect himself. Who had told her...who? Lifemates. There was only one that could have. Anthonius. In that moment there was a searing rage that laced his veins. It consumed any hurt that had been there, it made his toes curl into the earth and his chest tightened, muscles growing taut.
"I can admit my fault in not involving you sooner with my family, but I have had many things going on outside of our relationship, Isla. I run a family, a pride, I have been assaulted on multiple fronts, as have my family. These others I laid with, it happened far before any of this conflict began." It took every bit of his patience not to yell. In fact, his voice was eerily calm, his features tense and those vibrant blue eyes of his staring at her with the intensity of a brewing storm.
"You have met one of my children, he was there when we spoke of alliances. His name is Karsa." And there was no denying the resemblance. The boy held traits unique to Alexander only, amongst their family. A paw lifts, raising it to run splayed toes through his thick mane, sweeping it back out of his face a bit more. Suddenly he felt suffocated by his mane, by everything. Tail sweeps behind him in a restless manner. He wasn't used to having to defend his lifestyle and his choices to someone he loved.
"I have not been going about sleeping with others while neglecting you. If I have time, I come and I see you - that is what I was able to do today. My wounds finally healed and my sister allowed me to leave without a fuss." He pauses, knowing - dreading the fact that he would have to explain this...lifemate thing. How he wished his family did not believe in such folly. After Cersei, after the humiliations with Nazonal. Alexander wanted nothing more to do with it.
"It is not important to me. Each Savante carries their own belief in lifemates. My brother is a fanatic. I am not. With every thirty Savante born, only one of those will maybe find their lifemate. Generations of us go without, it is a myth. A fairytale to tell young warriors to give them a reason to find love, to fight, to be more than the darkness that lingers in each of our hearts." He finally takes a deep, unsteady breath. Not once had Alexander deliberately kept her in the dark about anything.
Maybe once upon a time he had been a devout believer.
That part of him had died a long time ago.
Lifemates were not important to him, therefore he had not thought to mention them. Why would he, after everything? This wasn't deception. This wasn't lying. This was simply a lack of information. Isla had yet to ask him about any other religious part of his families beliefs aside from one instance, which he had gladly given her all the details she'd desired. Alexander was not forthcoming about his trauma, about the hurts he held locked away in his heart. In this moment, however, it felt as if his trauma, his feelings - they were insignificant.
"The last woman I told about lifemates, she demanded that I make her mine. I tried to explain to her that it was not a simple choice. It was not something I could make happen. She was adamant about being the my number one, you might say. It became an obsession, she wanted to be above all others that I loved." There was a panic in his chest rising, his anger giving way to pain as the memory of the situation came back to him. This is what she wanted, though, yes? For him to relive something that brought him immense distress.
"We had children, three precious boys. Only a few months old. She had taken them out on a walk and things had been...calm, so I did not suspect anything. Still, I think the Mother gave me a sign that day...so I followed them. I came upon her about to toss my son, Dragos, over the edge of a cliff. When she saw me, she stopped and put the three boys on a limb hanging off the cliff." Alexander shuddered, holding down the sick feeling in his throat that threatened to rise up.
Still, he continued. The memory grasping his mind like a choking vine. "It would not hold their weight for long. She screamed at me for not loving her enough, for not making her my lifemate. Saying that she would never be enough. I was told that if she could not be the one that had my worship, that she would rather die. As punishment, I did not deserve the children she bore me, so she would take them too. She had every intention of killing them and then herself. So I would have nothing." During this story, he had not looked away, not broke eye contact. Every feeling, every emotion - it was there on display.
"I was unable to save her. She moved to push the children off the branch and when I attempted to stop her, there was a struggle and she was pushed. Cersei fell to her death that day, and if I had not grabbed my sons in time, they would have as well. Only one of my son's is aware of what really happened that day. I could not bare to think they would remember their Mother in such a way. One of my son's despises me because he thinks his Mother abandoned them because I would not make her my lifemate." And there it was. The whole story, the whole damn story.
Would she fault him for keeping that from his son's as well? The thought was angry, but his blood felt like acid in his veins as the panic slowly began to die down. Breathing slowed, his chest rising and falling in an uneasy rhythm for a time before it evened out again.
Suddenly Alexander was unsure about all of this. And perhaps...perhaps that hurt the most of all. His love for Isla was real, but would she work with him through this or abandon him? He was tired of giving himself to women who claimed to care for him, but would not work through the hardest parts of what should be their relationship. Yet, he knew in his heart that if Isla wanted to be loved by a man who would dedicate his entire life to her - he would not blame her. Or stop her. She deserved whatever she wanted.
It did not make the feelings he felt mean less. His love was not less. Alexander was not an insecure man, he was not jealous - he did not chase after women who did not want him. Long ago he had learned to love himself enough to not torment himself with unnecessary feelings. It was why those he loved were free to love however many others they wished, they could share their lives.
Together.
The love he had to give was boundless. To infinity and beyond. It was not given easily, despite popular belief. Indulging in a lover was not something he liked doing, guilt always followed. He had a responsibility to uphold to his family and flings did not fulfill that. Upon arriving here, in these new lands, however...temptation had simply been too much.
He had given in, he had indulged - but he had also learned to focus on what was most important to him. His family, his children, his pride, his beliefs and of course, Isla. Blue eyes finally turn to look away, his expression unreadable for a long moment as his mind swarmed with thoughts, feelings, memories. "I love you, Isla, and I want to share my life with you." The words were said with a firm, baritone voice as his attention once more zeroed in on her.
What would her choice be?
08-16-2023, 12:02 PM
Isla was more than capable to use her title as Heiress to hide behind, but when it came down to certain instances, she knew better than to throw her title around. And to hear him seemingly try to use his status as a King as being too busy for the reasoning behind him not informing her was only driving her further into anger. It was what caused the roaring fire to flare up once more within her as she listened to @Alexander ♔, muscles ever so slightly trembling under heated flesh and fur. “Do you think I sit on my throne as Heiress and do NOTHING?” Tail lashes behind her while cold stare stays trained on him, unwavering. “You are not the only one who has responsibilities, Alexander. Ruling a pride is a CHOICE, a choice YOU made. And family or not, it was a decision you alone decided.” She was more than sure his own family did not twist his leg and force him to claim a pride for themselves, and if they were that type of family, she knew she wanted no part in that.
“If you cannot manage several things at once then maybe ruling a pride is not in your blood.” Her words were meant to cut, to show just how much all of this had hurt her just as much as enraged her. “and do not use them as an excuse when I watched my mother almost DIE.” That memory was forever imprinted in her brain whether she liked it or not, and there were many sleepless nights, especially as of late, when Isla wondered if today was the day that Morrigan would have to act on her word. It was a thought the wildcat couldn’t stomach, one that made her stomach churn.
If the woman were able to read his mind and see he were making assumptions that Anthonius was the one that may have filled her in on lifemates, Isla may have asked why she thought it were him that had explained it all to her. She knew several members of the Savante family, including his own son, yet if she knew he were targeting his own brother it would have made her brows rise. She wasn't a woman to throw another under her to save herself, neither. But Isla didn’t know this information, and so would act accordingly. “These scars on my body must be an illusion then, hmm? You are not the only one with a family having targets painted on their backs.” Was this going to become a game of ‘Who’s life sucked more?’ Because it seemed that way to Isla and it was something that she was growing very tired of very quickly.
Her mind goes to the meeting they had of the Summit allying with the Hollows, her memory of the young boy there one that would now be seen as more than just a simple youngster and his curious mind. It was a son of Alexander’s, one she should have figured out due to his appearance. But there were more pressing matters that day, as well as the Hollows King throwing the marriage bomb in her wake and taking her by surprise. “You couldn’t of sent one from Obsidian to inform me of what was happening? Of your injuries?” Isla was chained to the Summit most days, and if she traveled it wasn’t too far from her home. She needed to be close by, to ensure she would be there to help defend and protect when the proverbial shit hit the fan. It was why she herself hadn’t made her way to Obsidian; but this was more common knowledge of how her family was a prime target than Alexander’s injuries.
Alexander finally dives into the reasoning why he didn’t believe in lifemates and why he didn’t share the information in the first place. Hearing of a woman you love demanding every moment of your life or else threatening to dispose of their children was something that Isla couldn’t even comprehend; it was something she would never do. Just like herself and how her time was valuable she also knew others had things of their own to do, such as the man before her ruling a pride, but it was the skill of multitasking that were key – it was the bread and butter to any successful ruler, that and knowing how to play the politics game well. She can see the series of emotions that flash on his face, having to force herself to keep her own steeled expression.
And then he says those three words and her breath catches in her throat.
Isla stands still for several minutes as everything processes in her mind. She keeps her eyes trained on him, watching him for any sort of tell or something that would tell her he was saying that because he feared losing her; that he’d say whatever it’d take to keep her. A heavy sigh is released finally, a few slow blinks accompanying it. “It’s not that simple for me, Alex,” her voice finally breaks the silence, having to swallow before speaking to get rid of the crack in her voice that threatened to reveal itself. “You are the first man I have given ANY time or attention to. You would be the first man I’ll EVER lay with. This is not something I take lightly, and when I am feeling doubt or unease about this situation...” She takes the smallest of steps backward, her claws trailing across the rock, “I’m not giving myself to someone who sees information you have just given me as insignificant when it’s the exact opposite.”
Her heart lurches and it feels as though its lodged in her throat. Deep breaths are taken to help attempt to calm her, anger now turning into sorrow. “I’m not building a life on a bed of dishonesty and deceit. I shouldn’t of had to ask you to be informed about such important things as this... Of your mates and of your children. These are the types of things you tell your significant other to help them better understand you and to give them more glimpses into your own life.” She pauses, beginning to chew on her lower lips while her paws begin to knead the ground below. “Keeping them in the dark from your past only harbors hatred and hurt.” And it was the latter she was feeling with immense pressure.
“I’m sorry Alex, but I'm not sure anymore. I want to give myself to someone who I trust wholeheartedly, and I do not have that here with you now.” Another step is taking backward just as she feels a sharp pain in her chest; was this what it felt like to have your heart broken?
“If you cannot manage several things at once then maybe ruling a pride is not in your blood.” Her words were meant to cut, to show just how much all of this had hurt her just as much as enraged her. “and do not use them as an excuse when I watched my mother almost DIE.” That memory was forever imprinted in her brain whether she liked it or not, and there were many sleepless nights, especially as of late, when Isla wondered if today was the day that Morrigan would have to act on her word. It was a thought the wildcat couldn’t stomach, one that made her stomach churn.
If the woman were able to read his mind and see he were making assumptions that Anthonius was the one that may have filled her in on lifemates, Isla may have asked why she thought it were him that had explained it all to her. She knew several members of the Savante family, including his own son, yet if she knew he were targeting his own brother it would have made her brows rise. She wasn't a woman to throw another under her to save herself, neither. But Isla didn’t know this information, and so would act accordingly. “These scars on my body must be an illusion then, hmm? You are not the only one with a family having targets painted on their backs.” Was this going to become a game of ‘Who’s life sucked more?’ Because it seemed that way to Isla and it was something that she was growing very tired of very quickly.
Her mind goes to the meeting they had of the Summit allying with the Hollows, her memory of the young boy there one that would now be seen as more than just a simple youngster and his curious mind. It was a son of Alexander’s, one she should have figured out due to his appearance. But there were more pressing matters that day, as well as the Hollows King throwing the marriage bomb in her wake and taking her by surprise. “You couldn’t of sent one from Obsidian to inform me of what was happening? Of your injuries?” Isla was chained to the Summit most days, and if she traveled it wasn’t too far from her home. She needed to be close by, to ensure she would be there to help defend and protect when the proverbial shit hit the fan. It was why she herself hadn’t made her way to Obsidian; but this was more common knowledge of how her family was a prime target than Alexander’s injuries.
Alexander finally dives into the reasoning why he didn’t believe in lifemates and why he didn’t share the information in the first place. Hearing of a woman you love demanding every moment of your life or else threatening to dispose of their children was something that Isla couldn’t even comprehend; it was something she would never do. Just like herself and how her time was valuable she also knew others had things of their own to do, such as the man before her ruling a pride, but it was the skill of multitasking that were key – it was the bread and butter to any successful ruler, that and knowing how to play the politics game well. She can see the series of emotions that flash on his face, having to force herself to keep her own steeled expression.
And then he says those three words and her breath catches in her throat.
Isla stands still for several minutes as everything processes in her mind. She keeps her eyes trained on him, watching him for any sort of tell or something that would tell her he was saying that because he feared losing her; that he’d say whatever it’d take to keep her. A heavy sigh is released finally, a few slow blinks accompanying it. “It’s not that simple for me, Alex,” her voice finally breaks the silence, having to swallow before speaking to get rid of the crack in her voice that threatened to reveal itself. “You are the first man I have given ANY time or attention to. You would be the first man I’ll EVER lay with. This is not something I take lightly, and when I am feeling doubt or unease about this situation...” She takes the smallest of steps backward, her claws trailing across the rock, “I’m not giving myself to someone who sees information you have just given me as insignificant when it’s the exact opposite.”
Her heart lurches and it feels as though its lodged in her throat. Deep breaths are taken to help attempt to calm her, anger now turning into sorrow. “I’m not building a life on a bed of dishonesty and deceit. I shouldn’t of had to ask you to be informed about such important things as this... Of your mates and of your children. These are the types of things you tell your significant other to help them better understand you and to give them more glimpses into your own life.” She pauses, beginning to chew on her lower lips while her paws begin to knead the ground below. “Keeping them in the dark from your past only harbors hatred and hurt.” And it was the latter she was feeling with immense pressure.
“I’m sorry Alex, but I'm not sure anymore. I want to give myself to someone who I trust wholeheartedly, and I do not have that here with you now.” Another step is taking backward just as she feels a sharp pain in her chest; was this what it felt like to have your heart broken?
08-16-2023, 12:40 PM
Alexander fell silent as she began to speak. As she went on, a numbness swept over his form and his mind drifted away. Did she think by attempting to explain himself, by admitting his own faults that he was attempting to downplay her own life? Why had her mind automatically jumped to such assumptions. If anyone had started this game, it had not been him.
More and more it seemed as if Isla wanted him to put in all of the work in this relationship. Perhaps she was stuck in the Summit, but he had his own family to protect. Leaving the pride for extended periods of time was not ideal, especially when things had become more tense lately.
He had children, small children to think about. If there was a game to be made, Alexander did not want to play it. Once more the woman who he had just proclaimed to love cut him down. With every word vocalized, she attempted to make this all his fault. To make him the problem. If that soothed her, if it made her feel justified on this choice she wished to make.
That was fine.
Maybe ruling a pride is not in your blood. Oh, but it was. He lived and breathed leading his family, his pride - and it was for that very reason he sometimes neglected those outside of his duties. Yet, Celestia understood, Angelo understood. They did not belittle him or his responsibilities and attempt to assert their own importance over him. Alexander knew very well Isla's role in her pride. The work she put in, the pride she held in her position and her family. It was one reason he admired her so much.
When I watched my mother almost DIE. She exclaimed. How many in his family had he watched die? Had he held in his arms until they breathed their last breath? Countless. This, however, was not a time to bring such grief up. It would serve him no favors doing so, and it would likely only lead to her growing angrier than she already was.
Anthonius was the prime suspect of his ire simply because he was the only fanatic within the family. Dragos did not believe in lifemates either, he would not actively speak on them. His children, otherwise, would not either. It was not a subject that was broached easily - especially not to a woman who was known to be Alexander's future wife. His brother had sabotaged him, once more carelessly ripping up something important to him for his own selfish beliefs.
And he would pay for it.
Pupils dilate as he focuses back on Isla, her voice once more bringing him back to reality with a painful, metaphorical slap. Why didn't you do more? He grew tired of it. Sighing heavily, he doesn't answer her. Perhaps he could have sent Balthazar to inform Isla of his state, but she had been there when he fell. When he had fought both Levana and Rainhart. How could she have not known? Regardless...it was pointless.
She makes no remark on his past trauma. Does not seem to understand or empathize, or care. Isla simply continues on about everything he's done wrong in their relationship. It was berating, it was tiresome.
He understood her hurt, and he had attempted to explain himself, to admit his fault so that she might see he was genuine. Instead of moving forward from this, trying to make amends - to work on how to fix the problems that now lay before them, she was...essentially saying goodbye. Brows knit together, his breath hitching in his throat.
"I will not stop you from leaving, Isla. If that is what you want me to do, if you wish for me to beg and convince you that we can work, I cannot. I love you, but love does not come from desperation or guilt. It is better than that." The beast pauses, feeling as if his heart is in his throat, making it hard to speak.
"I wish for you to be happy, and if that is not with me, then I will reluctantly accept this and call off our marriage. I am sorry for my fault in this, for not being open and I am even more sorry for not being the man that you need." He stands then, his muscles tense and his body on edge - his heart a sharp piece of glass in his chest.
Perhaps she would be happier. One day she might find someone who could fulfill her more than he could. It was all he could hope for her. "Mindig a szívem marad, kis farkas." You will always have my heart, little wolf. He whispers softly, then slowly turns and makes his descent down the mountainside, his heart cracking more and more with every step.
/exit Alexander
More and more it seemed as if Isla wanted him to put in all of the work in this relationship. Perhaps she was stuck in the Summit, but he had his own family to protect. Leaving the pride for extended periods of time was not ideal, especially when things had become more tense lately.
He had children, small children to think about. If there was a game to be made, Alexander did not want to play it. Once more the woman who he had just proclaimed to love cut him down. With every word vocalized, she attempted to make this all his fault. To make him the problem. If that soothed her, if it made her feel justified on this choice she wished to make.
That was fine.
Maybe ruling a pride is not in your blood. Oh, but it was. He lived and breathed leading his family, his pride - and it was for that very reason he sometimes neglected those outside of his duties. Yet, Celestia understood, Angelo understood. They did not belittle him or his responsibilities and attempt to assert their own importance over him. Alexander knew very well Isla's role in her pride. The work she put in, the pride she held in her position and her family. It was one reason he admired her so much.
When I watched my mother almost DIE. She exclaimed. How many in his family had he watched die? Had he held in his arms until they breathed their last breath? Countless. This, however, was not a time to bring such grief up. It would serve him no favors doing so, and it would likely only lead to her growing angrier than she already was.
Anthonius was the prime suspect of his ire simply because he was the only fanatic within the family. Dragos did not believe in lifemates either, he would not actively speak on them. His children, otherwise, would not either. It was not a subject that was broached easily - especially not to a woman who was known to be Alexander's future wife. His brother had sabotaged him, once more carelessly ripping up something important to him for his own selfish beliefs.
And he would pay for it.
Pupils dilate as he focuses back on Isla, her voice once more bringing him back to reality with a painful, metaphorical slap. Why didn't you do more? He grew tired of it. Sighing heavily, he doesn't answer her. Perhaps he could have sent Balthazar to inform Isla of his state, but she had been there when he fell. When he had fought both Levana and Rainhart. How could she have not known? Regardless...it was pointless.
She makes no remark on his past trauma. Does not seem to understand or empathize, or care. Isla simply continues on about everything he's done wrong in their relationship. It was berating, it was tiresome.
He understood her hurt, and he had attempted to explain himself, to admit his fault so that she might see he was genuine. Instead of moving forward from this, trying to make amends - to work on how to fix the problems that now lay before them, she was...essentially saying goodbye. Brows knit together, his breath hitching in his throat.
"I will not stop you from leaving, Isla. If that is what you want me to do, if you wish for me to beg and convince you that we can work, I cannot. I love you, but love does not come from desperation or guilt. It is better than that." The beast pauses, feeling as if his heart is in his throat, making it hard to speak.
"I wish for you to be happy, and if that is not with me, then I will reluctantly accept this and call off our marriage. I am sorry for my fault in this, for not being open and I am even more sorry for not being the man that you need." He stands then, his muscles tense and his body on edge - his heart a sharp piece of glass in his chest.
Perhaps she would be happier. One day she might find someone who could fulfill her more than he could. It was all he could hope for her. "Mindig a szívem marad, kis farkas." You will always have my heart, little wolf. He whispers softly, then slowly turns and makes his descent down the mountainside, his heart cracking more and more with every step.
/exit Alexander