It was pointless to try and pretend she didn't feel the draw to him now as much as she did way back when before she'd lost herself in promises. It would have been so simple to just lose herself in him and just be done with it. Sign herself over entirely, lay down her freedom and chain herself entirely to the Mire king. Why not? What did she have to lose, especially after hearing him whisper in her ear all the sorts of things that a woman like her yearned for?

Her heart, that's what. Because no matter how many times she told herself she didn't want to bother with love, it was also the only thing she wanted. With Alaric, she knew the likelihood of that happening was.. minimal. He could not give his heart when it was so hung up on others; between the woman he had lost and Slaine, could he.. would he? Nephthys doubted it.

What did she want?

"Everything," she answered softly. "What do you want, Alaric?"

code by shelby | art by irish

this world is dying in our arms

He could not have expected the pain he felt when she whispered that one word. Everything. It didn't bring him joy, like it probably should have, but only the impending sense of loss. Alaric did not love @Nephthys -- at least, not yet. The elusive emotion took time to build in the scarred beast, especially now in the wake of so much death. Losing those that he had given his heart to had left him more guarded than ever before. "You deserve everything," he lingers still close, his lips near her neck, his voice low, "you deserve all of it." He sighed, even as his lips lowered to warm red fur, "I am afraid I will never be able to give you that. I am not sure I'll be able to promise everything to anybody ever again." The words leave him exposed; raw and sensitive to the fact that she would see he was not such a unfeeling beast. "I can only give you everything that I am capable of giving." His touch, his affections, his whispered promises. A family, if she wanted it, and a safe home to live in and thrive. All of that he could give, but love? Alaric didn't trust himself to love, anymore..

code // art

Well that was.. certainly an interesting twist. Nephthys' brow furrowed as he agreed she deserved everything and for a moment, she wondered if he understood what she had even been talking about. The Tollaire was exhausted with all of the emotional baggage between the two of them, though she had done her best to lift the weight from her king's shoulders when possible. And then he pressed on and she understood that he didn't understand, exactly, what she had meant by her words.

"Easy, tiger." Nephthys' voice was teasing but gentle, soft as it left her lips. "I didn't mean I want your heart and undying love. I want everything: power, mostly, but also the freedom to do as I please. I want to come home and not have you question where I was but still fuck me into the ground until I'm whimpering your name." She shrugged. "I don't know if I'm capable of loving anyone ever again either, Alaric, and I'm not asking that of you."

Her toes flexed as she dug them into the ground, a light sigh on her lips. "I know you can't give me power, either. At least not the power I want." Contrary to popular belief, she wasn't vying for Slaine's rank. She was vying for Alaric's -- just not necessarily his.

Nephthys' eyes watched as he lowered his lips to her skin. It shuddered where he touched, a natural reaction to the tension that always ran between them. "You said you wanted me to be yours, @Alaric. What does that mean?" That was the part she didn't understand. "Are you.. afraid of losing me, to some extent? Because you want someone to be a constant in your life that doesn't just up and leave?" Maybe they wanted the same thing after all.

She turned towards him, ears flattened to the sides of her head sheepishly. Gods, if she was wrong..

code by shelby | art by irish

this world is dying in our arms

Alaric would be lying if he said he wasn't relieved. Relieved and... intrigued. A part of him wanted to deny the scenario she presented, to remind her that she was his and that was the end of it, but he knew damn well he had no right. Not here in this upside down world where lions could not take what they wanted without bloody consequences. Here they wanted promises signed, sealed and delivered, and Alaric was not a man of promises. "I can do that," he says, instead, his voice a rumbling growl in the crook of her neck. The fucking at least he knew how to do, among other things. As for power he does not wander that path with her just yet, too focused on hammering out the finer details of their relationship rather than talking about ranks. The conversation turns more serious again, though, and he instinctively tenses. For a moment he does not answer, his nose still buried in her fur, his breath hot against her skin. He takes a moment (or two) to think of his answer. "I just don't want you to leave." Essentially, yes. While it may not be fear that guided his answer rather than selfishness, at the end of the day they equaled the same response. Alaric wanted her here with him, even if he could not promise her the world or give her even half of what she wanted. @Nephthys.

code // art

It was quite a strange turn of events. Nephthys had never thought Alaric would agree to her terms, but it made her purr with satisfaction to hear it. At the end of the day, if he spared her a few moments of his day to ravish her body and leave her breathless, she would be happy enough. Surprisingly, Nephthys wasn't a woman who needed much to be happy - particularly not after she essentially swore off men altogether. Men were good for occasional company, but beyond that? She didn't have the time for coyly flirting and guessing love-me-love-me-nots.

Alaric is a master at avoiding the question, she has found. Indirectly answering direct questions, sidestepping and evading as much as possible while still providing some sort of placating answer. Nephthys couldn't guarantee she would never physically leave Ecrosia. How could she promise that knowing she wanted to take a pride of her own? "I will always be your friend, Alaric." And if there came such a time when that friendship blossomed into something more, so be it. She sighed. "I fear you may very well be my closest friend. I treasure you, Alaric, and you will always have a piece of my heart. I don't need yours in return, just know that you have it. Call on me when you need a friend or a fuck, hmm?" Was she fluffing herself up? Likely, but she also wanted to drive home the point that she cared about him. If she hadn't, she never would have lured him from his depressive den in order to take his mind off his losses.

She glanced over at him, wondering if anyone else had ever just tried to be his friend.

code by shelby | art by irish

this world is dying in our arms

Ah, and as the master of evasion he recognized it when it was served back to him. Alaric knew, then, that @Nephthys would not stay in the Mire. There would come a day that she, too, would leave, as so many had before her. I fear you may be my closest friend. At that he snorts, amused. "I do not make a good friend." He didn't, really. He was selfish and greedy and largely self serving. "I'm certain I will end up disappointing you." Alaric was good at many things. He was a good King, a decent father, an excellent lover. But friend? It was the one thing he was fairly sure he had failed at time and time again. "So don't say I didn't warn you," and there is a hint of teasing, now, as he presses closer, eager to put all of the talk behind them..

code // art

Although she could not promise him forever, she felt it was a fair compromise. He could not give her the things she craved and she could not guarantee she would forever stay in the mire. It wasn't like she had any plans on leaving anytime soon, though, so it didn't feel like too much of a stretch to go along with his wishes. She hadn't been timid about her desire for power when she'd joined and it didn't seem likely that he would stop her from pursuing that dream. Surely he wanted her to be happy, right?

"That's for me to decide, darling. You have yet to fail me and you've even just offered to take me on as a wife, protect me and give me stability. You're doing far more than anyone else has ever done." She shrugged. Bhaskar had done that, sure, but it was to be expected of a husband -- not so much a friend.

The subtle shift in his demeanor brought a low purr to her throat. "Remember, Alaric. Don't stop until I'm whimpering." Because if there was anything they both understood, it was that sex was far more enjoyable than talking about feelings.

fade & exit?

code by shelby | art by irish

this world is dying in our arms

For now he was... content. The day that somebody came to whisk her away from the Mire (and thus from him)? Well, Alaric was not likely to be quite so complacent as he was now. Now, though, he happily puts aside any talk of feelings and presses in to her space, looming over her and instinctively seeking to put her in her place. Her words stir a warning growl in his throat and that is the only sign she has that he will not be gentle; there will be no soft touches and whispered nothings here. He meets her with teeth and claws, uncaring if he draws blood in the process, looking only to satisfy them both and whisk them away from any more thinking -fade and exit-.

code // art