This content might touch on topics that are sensitive or triggering for some readers. Trigger Warning for mentions of [child death / loss]

The sovereign was hurting more than she liked to admit. A pain that could not be taken away any swifter and she continually tried to make amends with herself. Tried to not blame herself for the death of her child yet it seemed the only conclusion she could take. Willing it upon herself that everyone around her blamed her, too. That they looked at her knowing that she had sentenced young Tormund to his death because she had stupidly thought he would be safe within a pride that had always been a sanctuary. A peaceful place that no one had ever dreamed of trespassing into and yet, here she was with the worst experience possible.

So Talisa sat so quietly at Tormund's grave within Vermeda, her head bowed and tears lightly streaming down her nose. Sadness overwhelming her even though she knew that death was not the end but the situation was what had her weak. The knowing that she might have been able to prevent it, could have helped him -- yet, she felt only pain and hurt. Even looking at Farrow, all she felt was a (self-inflicted) disconnect. As though he were looking at her as though she weren't the wife he had thought he had created a life with. Try as hard as she could, being alone and not surrounded by family made her feel less pained. Less like a leper and more to deal with her negative emotions without feeling shunned.

@Valkravn

manip & table code by k'sariya

This content might touch on topics that are sensitive or triggering for some readers. Trigger Warning for mentions of [death/loss]

Valkravn had taken up a routine ever since she had come back to Amaryllis and had joined Vermeda. Her days usually consisted of stopping at Valhalla's grave and sitting with him a while, and although she knew she could see him face to face at freyr peak it was not the same as being able to see him in a solid form. So, for now, she stuck with visiting his grave and sitting next to the tree to overlook the brook. And as she departed from spending time with him would the all too familiar sound of soft crying catch the Viking's attention.

Paws would switch the direction they were guiding her body in and now were heading toward the sound. She weren't too far from it, and soon enough would lavender blue eyes land upon @Talisa. It took her a moment to realize who it was, not having seen her in a long time just like Nymeria. "I hope I'm not intruding," soft voice would announce her presence, keeping a distance away from them just in case the Valour didn't remember or recognize her. To see grief and sorrow in another pained Valkravn just as much as it pained her to feel those same emotions right now. But for now would she keep a leveled expression, not wanting to cause any disturbance or steal the spotlight from a sad and personal moment.

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Was it ever possible to overcome feeling like you're just a mess of an individual? That you're not worthy of being a mother when you lose a child? To feel defeat so thoroughly in her bones was demoralizing and it certainly didn't help her to feel the desire to do anything. Eating, drinking, exercising -- being happy. She didn't feel she deserved any of it and yet every morning she looked at her other three children knew that she had to continue for them.

Despite her usual self being all-in for socializing with others, she couldn't help but feel uneasy when @Valkravn approached. Hearing the soft voice would usually be so soothing and yet, it sounded like she were underwater hearing this voice come from the surface. With a hard swallow and a bare raise of her head, she fixated her lilac eyes onto the pale pink lioness. Eyes squinted, feeling an overwhelming sense of deja vu playing in front of her eyes but not really knowing where it was coming from. The grief, maybe? Oh uh, she cleared her throat and swiped a paw over the bridge of her nose, no, you're fine .. i just ... was meditating. A half-lie and half-truth twisted into one unfortunate circumstance that she didn't truly wish to bring to light. Not when she was only beginning to wrap her head around who this was.

As Talisa looked from the girl's eyes to the freckles on her face and the pink coat, Talisa gave a soft heh from her mouth as the lightbulb clicked. Valk? she asked, feeling as though she didn't even have to get confirmation because there was no way it could be anyone else. There weren't a whole lot of pink-coated individuals in Amaryllis as far as Talisa knew and Valkravn had always been a unique one.

manip & table code by k'sariya

It was obvious that @Talisa was trying to mask what she were really doing by commenting on doing something else, but it wasn't Valkravn's place to point it out or try to guilt her into telling her the truth. She herself had things she wished she could get rid of, things that she wish she could've changed, moments that she knew she would never have with others that were no longer in the physical realm. But it wasn't her place to try to say her own wants were the same as everyone else's, and everyone grieves in their own ways. So, with the woman's response would the pink lioness give a simple nod of her head, hovering where she stood, not wanting to intrude.

Valkravn were just about to leave so that Talisa could get back to what she were doing when she heard her name slip from the woman's lips. A small smile would curl her lips and a rather bemused expression would now appear on her face. "It's good to see you again, Talisa. It feels like I've been gone a long time." Her words, although airy, held an underlining weight to them. It seemed as though Amaryllis had tipped on its axis, causing for a stir in her native land and seeming to invoke chaos. Why else would Maua have taken Valhalla's life?

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A week ago, she would have been appalled with herself at letting anyone think that she didn't want them there with her. That she would have lied to them, first off, and somehow convinced them that she didn't want their company. The usually bubbly lioness would have choked at the idea of missing out on lovely company but she wasn't quite herself even if she tried to be.

Which was why when @Valkravn answered her back and gave a solid enough proof that she was who Talisa believed her to be, it left Talisa in a momentary state of holy shit and ... holy shit. Happy to see her again after all these years, but also sad that she had arrived now of all times. Talisa lifted herself onto somewhat shaky legs and began walking over, putting on a believable friendly face. Too long, for in that time so many things had changed for the good and the bad. Talisa had found love but she had also found heartbreak and turmoil. Things that she wished didn't coexist in her life but she supposed that everyone had bad days. She had just been lucky enough to have avoided it for so long.

You look good, she murmured and couldn't decide whether or not she was jealous of the fair-haired and freckled lioness or if she still had a schoolgirl crush on a friend from the past. Maybe a good bit of both but being older and being more sure of herself, she couldn't help but feel like perhaps her girlish dreams and fancies back then had been real. It seemed like centuries ago that Talisa had held such a fancy for the rosy girl but had been too shy to admit it to anyone, let alone herself. That Valkravn was out of her league and untouchable; it continued to feel that way now as she found herself simply at a loss for words.

manip & table code by k'sariya

The Viking wasn’t the most observant when it came to those aiming to give a compliment or make any advances on her. While others were exploring their sexuality and young loves, Valkravn was training with her littermates and father. Becoming battle ready was always what was at the forefront of her mind, never wanting to disappoint her father nor bring shame to the Brynmawr name. Maybe that was why the lioness was a firecracker while growing up: she had no other outlet other than to fight to release tension and anger and whatever other emotions she were repressing.

So when @Talisa commented on how the woman looked she would simply give a shake of her head and a flick of her tail. I feel old. It would be a light jest, something to lighten the mood but also try to steer the conversation from herself. The Viking was never good at being the center of attention, unless she were at the center of fighting that is. Time has been a friend to you, I must admit. I wish it were as kind to me. Another joke, Valkravn sucking in a breath slowly. She was trying to figure out whether or not she should bring up Valhalla, or if she should wait until later. Maybe another time and place? Something told the woman this may not be the best of times to bring up her deceased yet still around brother.

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Perhaps she was the reason behind why she had such a strong attraction to those with a penchant for fighting? Why her eyes seemed to gravitate to those that sought to draw blood from the enemies and as she fell weak to the stories of valiant knights. Talisa had never drawn the conclusion to that but given the distance that @Valkravn had kept in the recent years, perhaps she hadn't made the connection until her lilac eyes had found it's lost love once more.

If not for the lioness' jest, Talisa might have thought them back in their younger years all over again. Where a young Valour unknowingly fell prey into the life of her sexual curiosity but the young Brynmawr had never given her any indication that she was interested. Not that Talisa ever would have come to the conclusion that it wasn't lack of interest, just a lack of realization and an interest in gravitational romances. That makes us both old, as they were roughly the same age and Talisa didn't feel all that old. The only thing that made her feel old was all the horrible things that had happened that made her feel like she'd grown several hundred gray hairs.

Oh, the cleric issued as she made a few more steps forward to cross the distance, it has certainly been kind to you. At least, when it comes to your appearance. She was still just as beautiful as she was two years ago. Old or young, she was certain Talisa would always think her as a holy attraction. Nym must've found you and brought you back into the fold? Talisa could only hope that there was a blanket on Vermeda that might make it seem as though everything was in its place but somehow, she was certain it didn't feel as safe and nurturing as it once had.

manip & table code by k'sariya

Travel and battle wear on the mind and body. Although Valkravn and @Talisa were of the same age they were brought up on vastly different spectrums of life and routine. Where the Valour found peace and sanity in what the pink woman could remember as her constant want and need to learn and pray to Maua, the Viking took part in fighting and rituals that were more physical. But to say they both haven't aged more than their birthdates would be a lie, she knew that much.

Another mention of her physical appearance and this time the Viking seemed to catch the slightest of hints. She couldn't help but raise a brow, wondering if she should learn into the compliment or disregard it. After all, the Brynmawr wasn't too great with dealing with her own embarrassment, and if she were wrong she most certainly would want to dig her own grave and try to hide in it. The mentions of Nymeria would cause for ears to flick forward and her mind to regroup, a slight nod being given. Yes and no, Valkravn would begin, following suit in Talisa's movement and moving a paw step forward. I came back to find Valhalla, but... Her voice would trail off in a subtle crack, periwinkle gaze shifting from the woman to glance down at her front paws.

With a deep inhale and slow exhale of breath would she roll her shoulders and steel her gaze, pushing her emotions for her brother to the back of her mind - for now. Nym told me you helped him come back as a Guardian. I don't know how to express my gratitude for that, for me still being able to see him in some form. Valkravn had heard stories of Guardians, but never experiencing one for herself it always sounded more like fiction than reality. But now... Now she were able to better see Maua's real power and grace, and it was... incredible.

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Despite not knowing all that much about travelling or fighting, she understood it by being a fair part of it in the last couple years. Of seeing it happen time and time again, unfolding in front of her as those less honorable took and took. Those that shed blood for the sake of shedding blood and not simply to protect and keep safe. Perhaps that was where her disconnect was -- of who she saw as worthy warriors and those not worthy in the slightest.

It took a small moment of great tragedy to see the befallen @Valkravn admit that she had come here for a reason and that reason had a dark story to it. I'm so sorry, Valk.. if I could have, I'd have taken his place. She wished she could say such a thing but while she was selfless, she couldn't seek to make her children mama-less, too. Before her children, maybe but they needed her just as Avaneira are their unborn children had needed Valhalla.

It seemed that Nymeria had caught their friend up in some way and had expressed that Talisa had done something. Expressing gratitude for what had to be done and Talisa nodded her head. Of course. The two of you are family.. always have been. Talisa had seen no other option than to prolong the life of a friend and that was the best that she could offer with the skillset that she had. I wish I could have done more for him in the time that he was alive, her head hung a little lower, knowing that these words would soothe no one but knowing that she could do something like that through the grace and power of Maua meant that maybe there was more she could do, too. If only she continued to learn and grow.

manip & table code by k'sariya

@Talisa's apology would cause for a tightening in her throat, the Viking now fighting back tears she had only allowed to fall once since the grim news. She couldn't fall apart now; she had grieved some and she would push past it and find a way to somehow avenge her brother's death. Please, Valkravn would begin, shaking her head to try to deflect the blanket of sorrow that threatened to engulf the two standing there, what you did for him is a great gift, vinur minn. my friend. After she spoke would the woman close the small gap that were now between them, attempting to press her nose on the side of the Valour's cheek. She wanted to comfort her, from whatever it was that had her chained down and appearing as though she were so grief stricken.

After several moments would Valkravn withdraw herself from the contact, her gaze shifting to glance over toward the newly dug grave. Her ears would pin back onto her skull and her head would bow slightly. I visit Valhalla's grave daily. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have the strength to go see him. 'One step at a time' she kept reminding herself, but how was she going to truly find peace if she didn't go visit him soon?

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