Ever since her half-siblings had been born, it felt like she hadn't really gotten to spend any time alone with @Talisa. She was often with her younger siblings, or busy doing her duties as Heiress to the Brook. Sure, she still got to spend time with her. But it didn't feel like it had when she was, Ori and Khal were younger. Before her four half-siblings, she felt like she got both Talisa and Morrigan all to themselves, and her two mothers each spent as much time alone with the trio as they could. She'd spent more time with Morrigan lately, with regards to the trip she'd made to the Cove without permission, and then when she had requested Morrigan to help train her in battle skills in case she needed them.

Even though she was nearly a year in age now, Cassandra could still manage to make her way up the trees in the Brook. She had a favorite one, and it was a tree that had a thick branch that stuck out from the trunk in such a way that it provided a good place for her to lounge and relax at. To make her favorite spot even better, the sunlight hit her perfectly in the early hours of the morning. As it so happened to be that time of day, she was comfortably lounging in her favorite tree, the morning sunlight making its way through the leaves, dappling her fur in light and shadow hues as she had her eyes closed. Sunbathing was her absolute favorite thing to do, especially up in her favorite tree. Her younger siblings weren't coordinated enough to make their way up here yet, and she would hate the day they were able to do so.

When that day were to come, she would lose all joy in her favorite spot. Either that or she'd scare them enough they'd leave her alone when she was up here in her tree.

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Art by Swan | Table code by Zodiac

With the smallest bundles now reaching their second month, Talisa was able to venture out more freely and to stretch her legs more often. The pain of Morrigan being so far away still hurt her but less so now that they had talked about it. Talisa still couldn't entirely understand it but with Valhalla's death and Aquila's near miss, she was coming to be more accepting of Morrigan keeping the distance. Wanting her children and sisters and brother to be happy and safe here. It was all that she had ever known was peace and safety in Vermeda, her whole life she had had envisioned from the start was now being cut into smaller, thinner shreds of ribbon that she didn't know how to braid. She didn't know how to fix it.

Growing up, she had wanted to continue to be devout in her worship of Maua and she wanted to start a family. A BIG one and she was getting that wish -- both of them, but at the cost of losing her own sense of purpose. Talisa had begun to tell that her first daughter wasn't interested. Not engaged in Vermeda or the family anymore and it grew to concern her, rattling her brain as to what she might have done to make Cassandra not love life in the pride anymore. So much so, that Talisa intended to talk with Morrigan when she could about what they could do to ease their daughter's discomfort. Though, Talisa needed to know what that rift was before she intended to bandage it.

So the mother set out looking for her near look-a-like daughter, hoping that she could find out what was paining her. Find out so that she might be able to repair what relationship they had, even if it was just a temporary one. She'd do anything, almost anything, to make sure that @Cassandra was happy.

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The near-yearling had been relaxing in her favorite tree, and with the way the shadows fell on her dark brown pelt it was near impossible to spot her. Especially since she had her head laid on a paw, which blocked the view of the white chevrons on her chest. A soft snore had started to escape the Valour girl as she grew comfy enough to take a nap. While it might appear on the outside that she wasn't super invested in the Brook, she still cared for her birth pride, still loved her family. She just... felt awkward around her younger siblings. She'd even felt awkward around her younger cousins. At the time, she just... didn't have that motherly instinct that her mother @Talisa seemed to have.

However, her soft snores would be cut short as a dark ear caught the sound of pawsteps approaching her tree. Opening her dual-colored purple eyes, Cassandra searched around to see who was heading her direction. Hopefully it wasn't any of her younger siblings... She wasn't really in the mood to deal with those rascals at the moment. Her fears would go unfounded, though, as she caught sight of her mother on the ground below. She seemed to be searching for something, but Cassandra couldn't exactly tell what she was looking for.

Not moving from her branch, Cassandra left out a soft chuff to let her mother know where she was. She wasn't sure what her mother was looking for, but unless it was important she wasn't too eager to leave her comfy, sunkissed branch.

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Art by Swan | Table code by Zodiac

There was a lot that the woman was beginning to learn that she didn't have control over and what she might never. The rift that had happened between herself and Morrigan had been unprecedented. Unwanted and undeserving. Talisa wanted nothing more than for Morrigan to stand by her side just as she did with her own sister. Though, it had taken her a little while to see the Morrigan was doing for her sister what Talisa did for Nymeria. So it was only the quick decision that Morrigan had made to change prides that had broken her in that moment at the challenge. That fleeting moment of feeling cast aside as though her opinion didn't matter. The same situation, again, somehow finding its way back to @Cassandra. A young woman who hadn't gotten a say in the creation of new siblings.

So when the mother heard the chuff and looked up with a startle, she is pleased to see her daughter gazing back down at her. Afternoon my love, she called gently to her first-born daughter. Easing her way in and hoping that she was welcome, not wishing to push the splinter in between them further. May I come up? Talisa could make conversation from the ground or leave if it was truly wanted, but it would be far easier to meet her on her own terms rather than force herself in.

manip & table code by k'sariya

An ear flicked as her mother looked up, seemingly startled by her position above her head. While growing up, Cassandra had obviously developed a love for climbing and hanging out in trees, and she had quickly discovered it was an easy way to avoid her younger siblings - who hadn't developed the motor skills necessary to climb said trees quite yet. It surprised her though, that @Talisa would request to join her in her tree rather than just come up regardless. ""Sure."" Cassandra said, resting her head back on her paw as she awaited her mother to join her up in her tree. She wasn't quite sure why Talisa would've sought her out. She figured her mother would be busy with her younger siblings to seek her out today.

""Is this about me going to the Cove without permission shortly after Mummy became Sovereign alongside Aunt Ava? I thought we'd already discussed that..."" Cassandra said, flicking an ear as she spoke. She wasn't sure what this was about, but that was the only thing she could think of that Talisa would want to talk about. Even though that was a few months ago now, the dark brown girl could only bring that to the forefront of her mind.

A soft sigh escaped Cassandra as she readjusted herself slightly on her branch. She loved the Brook, and her family. But it just felt a little stifling lately with her younger siblings up and running around. She wanted desperately to be like Talisa - heart open to everyone. But it was hard for her to do so, and she couldn't figure out why.

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Art by Swan | Table code by Zodiac

With a single word of confirmation, Talisa hoisted herself little by little into the tree. Lingering just a branch below, a few feet away as she found a comfortable spot to lay. Hind leg hanging lazily off the branch as her tail tapped against its girth. Nose moving in the direct of @Cassandra she was surprised to hear her daughter question the company of her Mama, assuming that it was in reference to the trip that she'd taken. While it wasn't really about that, it did have something to do with that. No, my dear. She tried a smile, simply wanting to find some peace between herself and her daughter. Talisa had only small snippets of who her wife was growing up so hadn't pieced it all together until recently.

I wanted to give you the chance to talk to me, if you wanted. As she had never attempted to shut any of her children out if they had something they needed to say or simply to get their feelings known. It had taken a lot of momentum for Talisa to take a deep breath and dive into it, for she didn't want to be the potential center for her own child's unhappiness. Without judgment, as always. She wanted to be firm with her children but never chastising or irritated. A soft blanket to keep cozy at night when they needed it but a long enough leash that they could make of the world what they wanted.

manip & table code by k'sariya

She'd thought she was gonna get in trouble, get a chewing out again for having taken the unsupervised trip to the Cove. But Talisa would once again surprise her - this wasn't about that trip? Her disregard of Farrow as a guardian? Interesting. As Talisa settled herself up on the tree with her, on a branch a few feet away, Cassandra flicked an ear as she let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding in. You could practically see the tension melt off of the young Valour. ""I just figured you'd be busy keeping my younger siblings in line."" Cassandra said softly, not able to look her mother in the eye as she spoke.

However, Talisa's next words would knock at the floodgate of emotions the growing girl had been holding back for everyone's sake. She'd put on the mask of the dutiful daughter. Of the guardian big sister. Only allowing herself to remove the mask when she was by herself or at the Grotto. The dam would finally break when the Heiress would add in that she could talk without judgement.

Not able to look at her mother as she began to speak, one of Cassandra's ears would push back. ""I just... feel like I've been replaced.. Like I'm not needed around anymore. I didn't know Farrow existed until you brought him into our lives, and seemed to expect us to just accept him as a dad. Khal and Ori seemed to enjoy him, so I... went along with it. Cause I didn't want to cause a fuss."" Cassandra would begin, curling her tail closer to her body as she spoke. There was no stopping the floodgate of words now, not that the dam had been broken.

""And then you were expecting his cubs, before my brothers and I were even a year old. There was no warning, no question to us if we even wanted younger siblings. It felt like our - my feelings weren't important. I went to Mummy in the Cove cause I felt like I was being suffocated in the Brook with everything that was going on. I go to the Grotto so often to pray to Maua... Ask them to help me understand why I feel this way, and how I can open my heart like you do. I try so hard to do it, and I just can't for some reason. I want to love Farrow like Khal and Ori and you. I want to look at my baby siblings and not feel like they are just a replacement..."" There. It was all out there. Everything she'd been feeling for months now... it was out there.

She had no idea how Talisa was going to react to her sudden dumping and flood of feelings and emotions.. Or how she'd felt since the birth of her younger siblings. ""Its why I didn't come see you the day you had my siblings... I knew it was a happy day full of love - and I didn't want to ruin that for you or Morrigan... or Farrow."" Cassandra added on, pushing her ears back completely as she spoke and curling in on herself best she could on her branch. @Talisa had said she wanted to give her the chance to talk to her... but would she regret saying that now that she heard everything that she had to say? All the emotions and feelings she'd kept bottled up inside her these last few months.

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Art by Swan | Table code by Zodiac

An unhealthy amount of time had been spent trying to understand her children's thoughts without hearing them without fear of being judged. Talisa wanted an open pathway between herself and them, wanting nothing more than to know their hopes and dreams but also their fears and worries. So it was in this notion that she prepared herself for an onslaught or for silence. @Cassandra, no matter how much she looked like Mama had certainly taken over more of Mummy's spirit. With that it didn't take much coercion for her daughter to explain her feelings.

With rapt attention did Talisa listen to everything that Cass had to say. An assumption had been made a month or so ago about her interest in Farrow and her younger siblings. It was true that Talisa had not put her children's thoughts into the arrival of new ones but she had brought Farrow around when they were young. As soon as Farrow looked like he was going to be something within this family, she had brought him to them. That wasn't going to be touched on, though. She wanted her daughter to have the floor and interrupting would not help the process, only hurt.

I see. A simple word after all was said and done as she continued to process each issue that her daughter had brought up with great stride. Sorting through them carefully and attempting to pick and choose words and phrases that would ease the situation so that both women could have a platform to stand on. I apologize for making you feel replaced, for that was never my intention. You are free to see Farrow in any way that you would like. All that I can ask is that you respect him, as you would any adult. The rest is up to you. All the while she kept a calm voice. There was no anger to be had for Cassandra had every right to feel the way she felt. Farrow had come into their lives quickly but never did she want to force any of them to accept. Perhaps, in her own hopes and dreams, she wanted them to accept him over time.

Ever since I was a little girl, having a big family was all I had ever dreamed about. Living the same life that my mothers did. She paused and looked to her daughter with softened eyes. Wishing she could better explain why she had made haste. Part of me had hoped that by having children so close in age that you all might grow closer. Again, pausing as she knew her faults. Mummy and I are so very proud of you and your brothers. Of the lions that you all are becoming. I know that living here can be a lot for some.. she paused and gazed out over her Brook. The only place that had ever been home to her and had always healed her broken heart. A place she couldn't imagine leaving which was why it had taken so long to recognize a trapped bird. I was thinking.. I could ask Mummy and see if she's got room in her ranks for you. In Caladan. She waited, knowing how difficult it was to suggest such a change but she didn't wish to see her daughter trapped in a place of her own making.

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She had mentally prepared herself for Talisa to be cross with her, to have harsh words or be upset in some other way - even if she had said that she could share her thoughts and feelings without judgement. "“I’ve tried so hard to be like you… It’s part of the reason why I traveled to Maua’s Sanctuary so frequently. But no matter how much I prayed and brought offerings, they never seemed to breathe so much as soothing thoughts my way.”" Cassandra said. She wanted desperately to have the connection Talisa had with Maua. To be like her mother and get the chance to have what seemed like a friendly relationship with the deity. When her mother would speak about how she was free to see Farrow in any way she wished, but that she was still expected to respect him, Cassandra spared a slight glance towards the Heiress. "“You don’t understand… I wanted to see him as something like Khal and Ori did… But I just never could - and I don’t know why. I never said anything because everyone seemed so happy and content, and I didn’t want to be the one to put a crack in that happiness.”" Cassandra said, looking down at the ground beneath the pair. She truly had wanted to see Farrow as something like her brothers did. But she couldn’t figure out why she just couldn’t do it.

As @Talisa would speak on what she’d always desired from a young age, of having a big family and living the same life that her own mother had lived, tears would start glimmering at the edges of Cassandra’s eyes. Her own emotions were overwhelming the growing girl. Her mother would also explain why she had so quickly decided to have another litter, and the Valour girl tucked her head against her chest, trying to stifle the tears and emotions that threatened to break free from the young girl and overwhelm her. "“I… I want to grow closer with Tormund and Nienna and Renly and Arden. I really do. But I don’t know how to do so… I’ve tried so hard to shake the feelings I’ve had since you told us you were expecting Farrow’s cubs. But they stick around and I don’t know what to do…”" Cassandra’s voice shook as she spoke, her emotions very evident in her voice. It also betrayed just how close to breaking she really was. "“I put on a mask to make it seem like everything okay. I wanted to be the perfect daughter. The daughter who never caused a single problem. I didn’t want to add to the stress you seemed to be under. I never wanted to cause anyone any problems…”" The dark brown girl said, the tears she had held back starting to roll down her cheeks.

Talisa’s next words, however, would shock the girl. Fears once again reared their head… Did she want her gone? Did she not want her around anymore? Dual colored eyes jerked over to her mother, the tears rolling down her cheeks as she looked at her. "“D-Do you not want me here..?”" Cassandra said, voice shaking as she sniffled. Would she still be allowed in the Brook if she went to live with Morrigan in the Cove..? "“W-Would I still be allowed to come to the Brook whenever I wanted? Like Mummy?”" The question was a valid one, given the Valour girl’s fears and worries that were rearing their head right now. She couldn’t bear to sit still any longer, not with all the emotions overwhelming her right now. Leaping down from the tree branch, Cassandra started to pace at the base of the tree. Talisa couldn’t want her gone could she?? She doubted it, but it was still a fear that reared I up in the back of her mind.

actions. "speech."

Art by Swan | Table code by Zodiac

There was such pride in knowing that her children were slowly but surely displaying their interest in Maua and reaching out to them. That they were putting forth their best efforts into knowing all there was to know about their Creator. That was only half of it, however. Maua shows themselves in mysterious ways and sometimes they do so in ways that we don't immediately see. A fair cry to soothe the worries that Maua might have been ignoring @Cassandra when really, they were showing the young Valour signs of where to go and what to do next.

As for Farrow, she wasn't sure how to help her see him as Khal and Ori did. Talisa had felt a strong bond with him the very first moment that they had met. Then when they'd met a second time, so much had happened and she still felt that insatiable tug that he was meant to be a part of the family. Have either of you tried to get to know each other? she asked, trying to be as non-threatening as possible with her question but she would happily ask Farrow the same question as to if he had tried to get to know Cassandra.

Give the babies a few months to grow. To learn to talk and explore, perhaps then you will find your place with them. Whether it was a good place or a bad place, the babies were too young right now to do much of anything aside from blabber a little bit and stay near the den. Not a very exciting conversation for a yearling to have and certainly nothing fun came of it. Oh my.. Cass, Talisa shook her head, you will always be the perfect daughter even if problems arise. That's life and things happen but you will always be my perfect daughter. Her own first-born and that, to Talisa, meant quite a lot. A daughter that was astoundingly like both her parents but who had a flare that was all her own.

It seemed her question had been posed incorrectly at the yearlings bounced down from the trees and Talisa was prepared to jump after her. Afraid that Cassandra was going to make a run for it. Instead she jumped so that they could continue talking and she wouldn't have to raise a voice to have it carry. Are you kidding? I'd bind you to Vermeda forever if it were possible. She chuckled, knowing that it was accurate for she would have done it to Morrigan if she had been given the choice. A wise decision of Mummy's part, really. So long as the Valour's rule this land, you will always have a home here, just like Mummy. Mama wanted nothing more than to wrap her daughter in a hug and shower her with the love that she seemed to need. Talisa wanted to make her daughter feel less suffocated and more at peace with herself. To know that there was more to this life than just Vermeda and the Valour side of the family. It would hurt to separate herself from one of her children but she'd do so, if it meant keeping her girl happy.

manip & table code by k'sariya