He hadn't considered the idea of giving Naz a collection of rocks. After all, the cub got something new every time Gawain visited a new place where they couldn't join. But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Choices hadn't been hard to come by in his life, but for someone who hadn't had the same privileges, it made sense that choices would be a valuable asset. "That's a good idea," he replied with a nod. "Naz will be absolutely thrilled. We'll have to find the coolest rocks for them."

He raised an eyebrow at the smaller lion when he gave him the clearly larger portion. He'd meant the entire hare to go to @Elijah, who needed the meat on his bones far more. But at least he was eating. It warmed him inside that his companion seemed so happy for him to stay.

It apparently put him in a jovial mood, because the lion's next words were enough to make him laugh again. "Rabbits... as fast as Naz is growing, they wouldn't last very long." The idea of having flowers in his den sounded... nice. He really was turning into a softy. Keeping a cub around worked wonders. A year ago, he never would have thought of such. "My den is decorated by all the things Nazonal collects. Cool rocks, fun sticks, colorful feathers, a few bones that caught their eye. They bring things in, and there they stay." They realized suddenly that they would probably carry those things with them forever, if Naz didn't. "What about you? Do you have lots of cave rocks in your den?"

they're very lucky to have you, elijah says with a soft smile. and, sure, he did not know gawain very well — or this child and their situation — but he felt this to be true. he knew that not everyone was fortunate enough to have a stable, safe childhood — he, himself, had missed that by a mile. but the mere fact that naz was here on this island, instead of in their birth pride, meant something. and the fact that they had gawain looking after them? well, all the better. not everyone would tolerate a cub's antics, but it seemed that the brown-pelted brute accepted it.

messy den and all.

sitting here, talking as they are, it's hard for elijah to remember @Gawain from that place. this moment in time seems so far removed from that, it almost feels like a dream. a nightmare, more like, but still. life — and fate — was strange sometimes. as the question is turned around on him, he laughs, unable to help the way his smile goes sheepish. oh, no — mine is far messier than that! he pauses, as if gawain is going to judge him for what he says next: i can't say i have any cool rocks, but i have more than enough stuff. i'm sure it could give your cub's collection a run for its money! only part of it was his fault: herbs and medical stuff took up the bulk of his den, and it wasn't like he could get rid of it. he could probably organize it a bit better, though.... he'd have to do that before gawain came to visit.

the thought, an errant and stray thing, gives him pause — what made him think gawain would ever come and visit him? for medical assistance, or...? ignoring the sudden heat in his cheeks, elijah focuses instead on the hare before him — taking small, nibbling bites as he tries to think past the sudden embarrassment. only most of it is my fault, though. the rest is just for medical things. elijah still wanted to put together a care package for gawain, for when he came to obsidian to discuss things with the sovereigns; maybe he'd have to sneak a few things in for a growing cub, too.

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Gawain shrugged off the compliment... was it a complement? He shrugged off the comment about Naz being lucky. "I'm the lucky one," he replied softly. "I worry that Naz following me around puts them in danger, but it's nice to... have someone around." Was he gonna get emotional?

Elijah's laugh answered that question without any further thoughts. Emotions. Gods, he was going soft. But... @Elijah and Naz were both evidence that his efforts mattered. They were both alive, both able to laugh. Both safe. He would make sure it stayed that way.

"Oh, I think Naz will be up for the challenge," he replied with a laugh. "I'm sure they would love to see your collections. And they'd definitely want to show you theirs." Gawain paused, realizing he had essentially just invited himself to Elijah's den, and Elijah to his. Was that weird? Friends probably did that all the time, right? "Only if you're comfortable with it though, I don't mean to impose," he added with a rush, then promptly took a bite of his hare. Maybe he could blame his social ineptitude on the hare in front of him.

gawain's comment gives elijah pause, makes his heart ache. he knows that feeling, being fortunate enough for companionship after being denied it for so long. his mouth opens to speak but he stops himself, swallowing before deciding. being alone is hard, elijah agrees with a soft voice; being lonely was even harder still, but that seems too impossible a thing to vocalize. but i'm glad you both are here. he means here and safe, but maybe he means a little extra, too.

His eyes widen, slightly, at the implication. Did he mean....? But then he thinks about it for a moment, thinks about anything beyond his own churning thoughts, and knows there's no harm meant here. No harm, and no.... anything else. Of course -- I'd like that! he says easily -- hoping to dispel any discomfort @Gawain might be feeling, and the embarrassment in his own chest. Another lunch date sounded just fine to him! If you don't mind me asking, where have you two been staying? He says, voice lilting as his ears tip forward. Where they somewhere safe?

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Gawain gave @Elijah a sad smile. "Alone... keeps everyone else safe, in my job. I've been mostly alone since I was a yearling." He paused. Did Elijah even want to know his sob story? This wasn't meant to be a sad evening. And it definitely wasn't meant to be about him. "But now I have Nazonal, and... you. Friends. And I will do everything in my power to keep you both out of harm's way." He realized suddenly that he meant those last words more strongly than he recalled meaning anything.

"We are staying in the jungle, by the ocean. Nazonal was really excited about the ocean and the big trees." He smiled, remembering how bouncy the little cub had been, bubbling over with excitement about the 'mission' at hand.

Another thought occurred to him, one that he had been wondering at the beginning of this meeting, when the little lion had been so confused by the simple gift of a hare. "Elijah... are you happy in your pride? Do they... appreciate you here?"

Elijah flushes at his words, at the rush of warmth that accompany them. It is an easy thing to pledge protection ( many had done it before in the pits, holding out hope for any scrap of mercy or medicine that Elijah kept stashed away ), but another to mean it. Another to want to mean it. And Gawain... well. He'd spent his life helping others in just this way, shielding them from the worst that terrible pride could wrought. A shield here would certainly be an easier task than a shield there, and his muzzle dips -- sheepish and touched and embarrassed and warm. The emotions swirl together until he cannot pick one from the other, but the fact remains:

He feels safe.

For the first time in.... a long time.

He blinks that feeling away, carefully tucking it away with trembling hands, focusing instead on Gawain and the topic at hand. I don't think I've spent much time on that side of the island, he admits, ears tucking a little sheepishly. I bet it's beautiful, though. No wonder they enjoy it! He can imagine it, though: the big trees proving untold entertain for the little one, but also lots of places to hide. Corners to tuck yourself into, to hide or make s stand. Strange, how he still thought of these things, almost a year past bring Free.

His smile fades, just a little -- at his question. He takes another bite of the hare, hoping for an extra moment or five, before digging into that particular topic. An old wound, that never healed quite right. They are.... he trails off, unsure. How honest should he be? How complicated would it be to get into? Surely it'd require more finesse than Elijah could manage at the moment, and so he shakes his head. It is fine, he says, ears fluttering. Obsidian was fine, though the circumstances of his joining ( and the months since ) have often been wrought with tension. It wasn't all their fault; Elijah had to shoulder some of that blame. Still, though... he'd never quite settled, never managed to shake off the feelings of unworthiness and being a burden to a lion he loved owed. That would sour anyone's opinion, and as the months passed with no signs of it getting better... well. Maybe he should finally cut his loses -- even though the thought terrifies him.

The topic is clearly uncomfortable, as Elijah picks at his portion with unnecessary care. He doubted he could vocalize his turbulent feelings towards the hollows without ruining their lunch date.... if he hasn't already. So he tries a smile, an attempt to smooth it over. The king and queen -- I think they'll still help you, though. Eli didn't want @Gawain to worry about that.

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"You're welcome to visit, anytime," he replied, perhaps a little too quickly. He wanted Nazonal and @Elijah to meet soon. "Probably some useful plants out there you can collect. Lots of water. And the trees keep it much cooler." It was a good place, especially when water and shade were your two most important considerations.

He watched Elijah closely when he began answering, or began avoiding answering, his next question. 'Fine' was not a high bar, especially with a history like his. For a moment, he wondered if the stone walls ever reminded him of the pits, if that had anything to do with why he cluttered his den. He blinked the thought away. He was already poking at questions he wasn't invited to ask, he didn't need to pry too.

But the next words bothered him enough that he was speaking before he realized it. "I'm not asking because of the alliance, I'm asking because of you." Because I care if you're happy. Because you deserve to be appreciated.Luckily, he was able to shut his mouth before those last two sentences spilled out. He hoped his voice hadn't sounded harsh when he said that, he hoped Elijah understood it came from a place of... care.

the offer to come and visit sits pleasantly between them, and elijah smiles to hear it. soft and warm, chuffed with the invitation. it’s one he certainly intends to take @Gawain up on, and hopefully soon. it sounded… nice. a sunny afternoon in the jungle he and the cub have holed up in, a sunny afternoon spent getting to know both of them better. he is… unused to having things to look forward to. it’s a nice feeling, a good feeling; even here, in the moonlight chasm, he feels warm. and it only has a little to do with the rabbit between them, and maybe a lot to do with the man sitting before him.

That does not fade, even as the conversation turns.

i’m asking because of you. oh, he says simply, a little flustered. it shows on his face, the high color dusting along his cheeks as the skin beneath his fur flushes. ears twist too, seeking to bury inside his curls. if he’d been strangely touched by the gift of lunch, then he was absolutely floored by this. i appreciate that, he says, a little thickly — awkward and more than a little embarrassed, yes, but he means it. it’s okay, though. it’s… complicated, but — it’s nothing bad, and i’m fine. complicated was an understatement, he knew, but if he truly got into it… they’d be here for awhile. they’d need at least two more rabbits each. his ears cup forward then, moving his muzzle forward — his body following the motion, seeking out gawain’s gaze. i promise. he murmurs softly, a small smile trying to curve the corners of his lips. maybe another day, but… not today.

not when they had their meal to finish and rocks to find.

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The lion before him was clearly embarrassed or startled by his words. Normally that would make Gawain backpedal, at least a bit, but not on a subject like this. He had to make sure his friend was safe here. Otherwise, well, he'd make sure leadership got his complaint.

"As long as you're okay." He held eye contact for as long as @Elijah was willing to allow it. Eye contact was a tricky thing, he knew. Some found it meaningful, some felt it was a threat. Most seemed to lie somewhere it between, but Elijah seemed to find comfort or meaning in it. He returned the lion's smile freely, a gesture he seemed to be becoming more and more familiar with. Friendliness had never been a defining trait for the lion. He had been known to be more stoic. Loyal, to those he was allied with, sure. But friendly? This was new territory.

It was honest, though. True friendliness, true care, regardless of how foreign those feelings were. He meant every word he was saying, which was strange for a lion with two distinctly different personas.

As long as you're okay. the concern, still prominent and pressing, is met with a warm smile. i am, he confirms, voice a little stronger now — emboldened, maybe, by gawain’s smile. perhaps it was simply wishful thinking but elijah thinks this smile seems looser, more natural — it alights his friend’s face, warming the brown fur and darkened eye circles there. his own almost falters, gone shy at the edges, but he angles his ears forward and tries to ignore the warmth of his own cheeks. and i am better, now, thanks to you. the words come easy but the meaning is two-fold ( genuine, yes, but certainly accidental ) — it isn’t until his mouth closes that he realizes it. and that, elijah fears, is a bridge too far. this was a much-needed lunch. he amends, a little lamely, but pairs it with a bashful laugh. @Gawain might be a strange source of comfort ( misguided, maybe, for how quickly elijah seemed to warm to him ), and the last thing the little medic wants to do is scare him off. thank you. and while he might want to move forward to press his muzzle to gawain's cheek, he certainly does not. he remains firmly seated, lowering his muzzle instead to swallow down another morsel.

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