There was so much talk of handling each other that she wanted to scream. Nephthys wanted the entire situation to be done and over with, but she was merely a drop in the ocean of chaos that made up Amaryllis. There was, at the end of the day, little she could do that would have an impact on anything.. She sighs. “At least whack him once for me if he shows up.” It’s an attempt at humor, to try and lighten the mood through her tears. “He left to find our son. I realized I had been holding out hope he would come back with him, too. I realized that the moment I saw him come back without him.” Her ears flattened against her head. The loss of a child was not something she would wish on anyone, regardless of how detached of a mother she had been. “How do you heal from that,” she mumbled under her breath, emerald eyes falling to the ground. It wasn’t even a question as much as it was a plea.

Nephthys couldn’t help but purr at his touch, relishing in the comfort of a friend as he rubbed her back. He said she was strong enough to handle Ronin, but in what way? She could handle the man himself, sure, but did that mean she had to change to fit his lifestyle? She didn’t pull away when he offered her the option of leaving, but she did rest her head on his chest and peer up at him. “Why is it that I have to be the one to change for men? I had to leave a pride for Bhaskar. I have to be okay with war being on our doorstep with Ronin. When do the men have to change for me?” It was just like her to be blind to the sacrifices they had both made for her in a fit of pity. Nephthys was not a creature of deep introspection. When she felt slighted, she felt slighted.

“And what were you bred for?” she asked a bit off topic, her brow raised curiously..

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this world is dying in our arms

Although it wasn't her intent there is an interesting tidbit in that information she gives. Neph's husband had left to find their son; he had returned to find her mated to another. Ironic, then, how similar his and Ronin's stories were after all... But there is a grief there that he knows, an it distracts him from everything else. "You don't," he answers, and his voice is solemn, "it stays with you forever." He had never told her of his loses, had he? Of the way he had watched his wife and children fall to the claws of the usurper? "You just... learn to live with it." As for the wills of men and women -- "you don't have to. Where I am from it is expected that the women fall in line. It is different, here." A small shrug, a bit of a tidbit that might help her understand him even better. "Here you don't have to change for them, and it's up to you to decide if them not changing for you is a dealbreaker or not." There were women that would turn away from Ronin and Bhaskar both because of their unwillingness to budge -- much like some had turned from him because of his own greedy nature. "I was born and bred to lead, Neph. It's in my nature. To conquer and to rule and to leave behind an unshakeable legacy." It wasn't his ego speaking; he says the words like fact, for they were the very ones drove in to his mind from the time he could understand them..

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His advice doesn't help, nor does it hinder. She only accepts it as it is: a burden, a scar, she will carry forevermore. It isn't the first or the last weight that will be slung across her shoulders, nor is it going to be the one that breaks her. Nephthys, like Alaric says, is strong. She will always prevail.

Nephthys isn't sure what to make of his.. suggestion? She feels as though he's trying to gently pull her away from the Svend, untangle her from his web to possibly be snared in his own? The lioness isn't entirely sure. Alaric is predictable, at least. She appreciates him for that openness; but can she turn away from a man solely devoted to her for a man who is devoted to several? It's something she's considered plausible, but at the time there hadn't been another option. Nephthys never thought she would find someone again.

"I was born to lead, too," she murmurs softly. Maybe he won't believe her, but she knows it's in her blood. "And I feel that I need to take this chance with Ronin. To be his queen and his voice of reason." Nephthys straightens up a bit, though she hasn't pulled entirely away from him. "Will you allow me that chance, Alaric? Let me show the world what the Tollaire are capable of. Consider the betrothal. I will not harm a hair of an Ecrosian unless it is self defense, of that you have my word." And that is all she can offer for now.

code by shelby | art by irish

this world is dying in our arms

Nephthys would have been surprised to learn that his suggestion was not selfish. While he would never reject her (or turn her from the Mire) he had no intention of sweeping her out of Ronin's arms. Alaric, despite what might have been believed of him, did not intend to hurt the warmonger. I was born to lead, too she says, and he does not argue with her. From what Alaric said Nephthys was a more than capable queen, skilled with her tongue if not with her claws (and he did not doubt she could hold her own there, too, if needed). Voice of reason seemed fitting, though he did doubt that she would be able to hold much sway over Ronin. The man seemed determined to do whatever the hell he wanted, from what Alaric had seen. "I will talk to Slaine," he repeats, because there is no betrothal he can arrange without her blessing. He could, he supposed, force her hand as patriarch and high sovereign, but it didn't sit right with him. At the very least he would need her neutrality. He sighs, burying his face in her neck, faced with the very real certainty that she would leave. "I don't want you to go, Neph." She was one of his closest, most trusted friends -- what the hell was he thinking letting her waltz off to live with the enemy?.

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The alternative to a betrothal between their cubs hung unspoken in the air, Nephthys' lips twitching to form the words yet hesitating. There was such a difference between what she wanted and what was right and fair. The lioness knew it was unkind to expect anything from Alaric, but she did. She expected her release from him, even if it meant sending her directly into the arms of his enemy. Well, his one-sided enemy, she supposed, if all he had said was the gospel truth. Nephthys had her doubts about certain things, certainly, but she had never seemed to really question his honesty. Alaric had always been truthful with her.

She leaned into his touch, hoping to pull him closer and hug him as tightly as he would allow. "You're not losing me," she chided softly. "And maybe this is a mistake. Trusting him with my heart, I mean. Maybe it'll end in flames. I'm not a smart woman when it comes to things like this, as you know." And he had been there for her. She had been there for him, trying to get him out and about in the aftermath of his wife's death. Nephthys had seen him at his worst and his best, and that was a bond she would not risk breaking. "You have every right to doubt me. Every right to say no." She wouldn't blame him if he did. "And if you genuinely don't want me to go, I can't do anything about it other than challenging for myself, and I won't do that. You are in control here, my king," the Tollaire said with a sad smile. "But you're my friend and no distance will change that. I don't want to leave you, either, but it's also hard not being able to.. to be with you as much as it is hard to be away from him." She pressed her forehead against him, breathing him in.

"Letting me go is not the end of our story."

code by shelby | art by irish

this world is dying in our arms

Since coming to Amaryllis there were more than a few he had claimed as friends. Surprising, considering his upbringing and his fiery start, here. To call lioness' friends was one thing -- but the likes of Slaine and Ghyslaine and Nephthys? -- more than once he had wondered what he had done to deserve their trust. He took care to repay it with honesty, even if he was often erring on the side of selfishness even still. "I hope it doesn't, for your sake." He remembered what a heartbroken Nephthys was like, and he didn't wish that on her ever again. There was no doubt that he would support her through it if it were to happen, but he would much prefer his friend to be happy. Neph clings to him and he clings back, keeping an arm wrapped tight around her as he held her to his chest. "Promise me you'll visit," he requested with a sigh, his eyes closing. There is a strange swell of emotion rising in his chest, a sense of grief and regret, both. Wondering if he could have done more to keep her here, to make her as happy as she evidently was with Ronin. "Of course you may go." Though the words felt like ash in his mouth..

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"It's not my sake you should be concerned about," Nephthys said with a crooked, almost sad smile. "If Ronin ever hurts me, it will be the last thing he does. I'll cut off his dick myself." She couldn't help but laugh a bit at that, knowing full well her husband would never cross a boundary in such a way. His manhood was safe – and good thing, too, if they were going to continue trying for cubs. She was that confident about him. About them. Nephthys just hoped it wasn't misplaced.

"Thank you." She didn't pull away as he breathed her release. Of course, there was a contingency: she needed to visit. "You won't even notice I live somewhere else. I will be so in your business you'll beg me to leave," she teased with a nod. "But I don't have to leave tonight." I don't have to leave you tonight. "Why don't we go for a walk? Hang out? Be besties?" Nephthys pressed her head against his cheek, her last request one that may very well be too much.

When she finally untangled herself from him, Nephthys knew there was now a barrier between them that would prevent anything further. Nephthys respected Ronin too much to put herself in a compromising position and she knew Alaric respected her enough to do the same. She grinned at him, a proverbial paw extended.

exit via platonic friendship times

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Once again he was struck by just how far she had come from when he had first met her, alone and grief-stricken on a mountain peak. He laughs openly when she mentions the revenge she would seek, knowing damn well she meant every word. Hopefully Ronin was smart enough to know better, though he didn't think the man was the type to break vows...

"Good," he says amidst her teasing, and his voice is serious in contrast. He didn't want her to leave, and he would be quite happy if she was here all of the time. Alaric had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't be the case, that the visits would be fewer and more far between than he liked, but he kept those sad and pathetic thoughts to himself.

Putting on a show of rolling his eyes he hoisted himself to all fours with a mock-groan. "If you insist," he moaned, before flashing her a grin and bumping his shoulder against her own as they wandered off to "be besties."

-exit-

@Nephthys

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