Her sister in law's new life had not been missed by Hanneth but the former Queen could do little but keep an eye on her and offer what she could. Herbs were limited, food was limited, and hope... was dwindling. Once the group had settled for the night Hanneth moved to Furia who had been keeping to herself. She knew that the lioness's heart was likely as heavy as her own and she didn't know what she would say to her. They had never been overly close but Hanneth still cared for her and loved her. She didn't want her or the life in her to be another thing she lost. Furia, Roan, the cubs may be all she has left of Dero and she refused to let anymore of him go. She came to the lioness's side and offered her a gentle head bump. "As soon as I can, I will find you a proper meal and some herbs." The bronze lioness wanted so badly to offer her more but she Furia wasn't the sappy type and Hanneth didn't have the words they both needed to hear.

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Furia may not have been the sappy type, but she did tend to wear her emotions on her sleeve. While she had never been overly affectionate or clingy with any of her family, Dero was the exception that proved the rule. He had been such a constant figure in her life that the mere concept of him being gone was gut-wrenching in a way she had never thought possible. The last few moments of being with him looped through her head -- the way he had yelled for her to run, the way he had rejected her help and insisted she take care of her children first. It still made her furious to think she could have helped in some way, but truth be told she would have been nothing but a burden to him. Furia couldn't fight. Running was the best thing for the both of them, though she wished it hadn't been the case. It was just.. so stupid. All of it.

The bump to her shoulder caught her off guard, but there was no reaction outside of a quiet huff of surprise. "Ah, Hanneth, I can do that. I mean.. not the herbs, I'd probably poison myself by accident, but.. I mean, you've got enough on your plate." How the hell she'd managed to gather such a wayward group of lions Furia would never understand, but they were there and that was that. "Can you hang out for a few?" Furia said, patting the ground next to her.

Hanneth had never planned to need to lead so many. The strange group that had come together was such a mix of those who were once just as strong and powerful as her and Dero. All of them pushed out. All of them missing someone it seemed. The bronze lioness was glad each of them had managed to join her for however long it may last. Still the burden of so many had worn on her and caused her to be less in touch with everyone. She hoped now, she could fix that starting here. She offered a weak smile as Furia brushed her offer off gently, she didn't really have it in her to offer it again but when the time came Hanneth would make sure she did what she could. She nodded and laid next to the maned lioness and leaned into her gently. "Do I know the father?" Furia had brought a lion to them but Hanneth hadn't seen him around all that much and it seemed that this happened right before everything happened. Hanneth couldn't help but think back to their first time she was carrying cubs and had to leave the Peaks. "I never thought we would be in this position again." Her voice was soft as she lowered her head into her paws. Last time had been hard and she had lost a lot but this time, this time could break her.

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Out of everything Hanneth could have said to drive a wedge between them while the moment was.. well, more tender than usual, asking who the father of her children was lingered at the top of the list. Furia's ears wilted against her head, feeling as though the phrasing was staged in a way to be accusatory. Still, she didn't react. She just let it go, glancing at her paws. "Actaeon, my husband." It had all happened the night before the world had ended and she felt alone enough without her brother as it was, and now she just felt.. saddened. Even further isolated.

"It'll be okay. We'll bounce back."

It wasn't much, but it was something.

@Hanneth

Furia's reaction to her question caused Hanneth to wish she hadn't asked. She was trying to find something else to focus on but this clearly wasn't the right topic. Hanneth seemed to do that a lot with her sister in law. Always messing up her words or actions. It wasn't something she did with others but for some reason, she couldn't get her shit together with Furia. Hanneth's ears pricked forward at the familiar name. Husband? When did that happen? She knew the male wasn't with the group or he would be here with Furia and so the fear that Hanneth had for Dero must be the same Furia had for her own husband. Hanneth's face lacked any excitement she might normally feel when learning such news. She managed a weak smile before setting her head into her paws and sighing heavily. So many were missing still, some of her own cubs, her friends, the pride still scattered to the edges of who knows where.

Bounce back. Hanneth had so much to look forward to before. Making a life with Dero. Raising the cubs. It was what made any of it bearable. This, wasn't that. She was here by willpower only to save who she could. Hanneth lifted her head and for the millionth time looked back the way they came. Her mismatched eyes looking for a figure that her heart ached for but as each time before, he wasn't there. Her head settled back into her paws. "I got them here. I don't think I want to do much else." It was an honest statement. A heavy one as well. Hanneth had never set out to be a Queen and while she loved all in her pride she only became Queen because of Dero. To help him. Would she be good enough on her own? Did she want to do it on her own?

Furia hadn't even bothered to look at Hanneth's reaction or lack thereof, finding no joy in it herself when half her family was missing as it was. She wasn't entirely sure where to go from there, as Hanneth hadn't asked any follow-up questions and she wasn't keen on sharing the details of her now missing mate. Along with an unexpected pregnancy, things were not looking super duper great for her and it was obvious in her mood. At least Hanneth had years with Dero. Lots of children. Happy memories. Furia was jealous.

"You don't have to." No one said she had to be queen, or lead everyone. The cubs were old enough to fend for themselves and Hanneth could easily just shack up with one of the nearby prides; no one was forcing her to lead. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, @Hanneth."

Hanneth listened to her and she sighed heavily. It was true. Nothing else needed to be done but would that be accepted? Would the others figure it out? Would her kids? Roan? Then what would I do? She hadn't been without a pride in so long, hadn't had to live under someone else in even longer. She didn't really know what other life there could be for her. She had seen so many others fall around her, how could she trust anyone else but herself and Dero. Dero. Could she even do it on her own? Was leading while alone even an option? While she had handled a lot of things and some would joke that she ran the Jungle, none of it would have been possible without Dero. Nothing in her life would have been what it was without him. Without him, who was she?

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Her brow furrowed. Shit, Hanneth had never had a day off in her life, had she? What did she do? "You do what you want. You talk with your kids, you go for a walk, you go for a hunt, you babysit this demon inside my stomach for me while I sleep, you do what you want, Hanneth. We can explore this whole place together until I pop, we can.. I don't know, sit on the beach and tell stories." Truth be told, she didn't know what would make Hanneth smile besides Dero. "Not being a queen doesn't mean you stop being the head of your family or you cease to exist. It just means you can relax for a while." And take it from her, relaxation was wonderful.

@Hanneth

All those things sounded nice but how would she talk with the kids that she lost? Only a few had managed to get out and she had no way of knowing if they would show up or not. She could focus on those who remained, of course she would do that but the hole of her loss was always going to linger. Her husband, her cubs, her friends are all gone and with them all the bits of herself that she had given to them. It wasn't even something she knew she had been doing until they were ripped away from her. She felt so empty and lost. There was little she knew how to do that wasn't wrapped up in how things were before. That had been her everything, her life, her self worth and it was all gone. I will try. I just need to learn how to do this but don't worry I will always be around to babysit that perfect cub you are carrying. She managed a playful smile in response to Furia calling the cub a demon. Nothing that came from Furia would ever be a demon to Hanneth. She rolled on her side, her back attempting to press against the pregnant lioness. Thank you Furia. She hoped that her sister in law knew that the words were more than just a thank you for their talk but a thank you for everything, even the bad between them. Hanneth hoped that their start here could make things easier for them as they learn more about these lands.

@Furia

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let me light up the sky

Furia heaved a sigh. "Well, if you want my honest opinion, it's incredibly easy to do nothing and relax. I'm very good at it, if you ever need help." She cracked a crooked grin at her sister-in-law and shifted her weight, aiming to swing a paw across the woman's shoulder and bring her in close. "It's not going to be perfect if it's mine, we know that. If they're born without horns, I'll be shocked." The lioness huffed softly as she flopped onto her side, wishing she had a more comfortable pillow than the dusty earth. Ah well. "Let's try to get some sleep, yeah? We'll go exploring tomorrow after we've rested up." Furia lowered her head to the ground, eager to sneak in a quick.. or long.. nap.

exit

light it up for you

Table by Amanda