Alaric had arrived, as she had anticipated he would with time. She was relieved when he had, for she did not feel entirely safe in the company of the battle-hungry lioness that had been put in front of her. Relief would change to a conflict of feelings when he gave the rank over to her without hesitation. There was a burden lifted, but there was also a more deep-rooted sense of shame. She had failed him at every turn, the one lion she wanted so hard to please.

She would be called to speak with him then, her eyes never again touching on the new healer's. She imagined she might only see a smug sense of satisfaction there, perhaps even something of a disdain for the pallid lioness in her unwillingness to indulge her desire for battle.

She would wait a moment before turning to leave, to find somewhere nearby where @Alaric might speak with her. She would sit down, tail curled snugly around her small frame. She looked much like a child who was waiting to be scolded by a parent for some wrongdoing. At the very least she felt sure he would be satisfied with her keeping her word about gaining weight and tending to her fur, but she hadn't achieved much else of late. What purpose was left for her now? How could she continue to serve his pride if her only title and talent was stripped away?

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this world is dying in our arms

"It's nothing you've done," he felt the need to assure her of this as they moved away from the other pair, knowing damn well that she would likely fret over his decision. Patchouli had been one of the most loyal members of his pride since the beginning, and it wasn't something that he took lightly. He sighed, setting himself down beside her, keenly aware of how he dwarfed her. "You've been doing better," he fumbled with his words as he often did; alaric was not well versed in the delicate handling of feelings. Anya had wanted it and had sought to take it, he always admired ambition, but that didn't mean he wanted his friend to feel hurt by the decision. "I know it's burdened you, Patch. I don't want that for you." There was something else he had in mind, though. "You've been here since the beginning, you've seen it all. Every step I've taken, every alliance that's risen and fallen, you've been here. I thought, perhaps, lead storyteller might suit you, if you wished for it." An olive branch, sure, but he meant every word..

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He would begin with assurances, allowing Patchouli to calm her fluttered heart and take a breath. She hadn't really expected him to be angry, she couldn't think of anything she had done wrong as far as healing went. It had been a burden to carry the rank, but she had not been well when he first gave it to her. It was easier now that she had more energy, but perhaps it was better to let someone else do it for a while if they were so determined to have the responsibility. In the end, it didn't really matter what she thought, Alaric had made his decision and she would not undermine his decision.

They would sit together in silence for a short time, she would savor it, silently will him not to speak, not to move. When @Alaric did speak, she would look up at him in gratitude, a warmth in her mismatched eyes. He had noticed her efforts, it sparked joy in her heart to have someone see her succeed at something that was truly challenging. She would try to draw closer then, that she might lean her head against his shoulder. She needed it, to feel physical contact with someone.

She would remain unmoved as he offered her a new rank, considering it for a moment. She had wanted purpose and he was offering her a new one. As much as she was insecure in her ability to heal, she was even less so in the role of storyteller. "I do know many stories.. they would have me regale them with tales of war and alliance. They might aspire to be as heroic and strong as you were in them." A pretty picture, but the image did not bring a smile to her face. "I do not see your deeds in battle as stories worth telling. I would not tell those tales, fighting to me is nothing but pain and cruelty. I would speak only to your kindness towards delicate things, and your courage in showing vulnerability to those close to you. It wouldn't make for good storytelling." She confessed. "I don't imagine my voice would captivate a crowd anyway, it does not carry very far." The slightest hint of humor followed this last comment. It seemed even she had a sense of humor buried inside her somewhere.

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this world is dying in our arms

@Patchouli shifts and he has no qualms about her head on his shoulder. in fact he shifts, too, leaning his head to rest on top of hers. it is an easy connection, comfortable and familiar, and he feels a surprising swell of gratitude for the tiny medic. while things might have been rocky, and perhaps not gone the way either of them had envisioned, he appreciated her loyalty all the same. "you do not have to tell stories about me," he spoke quietly, "they could be stories of anything. it would be nice for the history of the mire to be remembered, for those that come to know of those that came before the, is all." alaric was not the only piece of the puzzle, not even close. "stories can be told one on one, too," he offered, a final encouragement. if she did not wish for the rank he would not press it on her, but he hoped she would at least consider it..

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The contact was welcomed and she relished in it for the brief span of it. She could have stayed there like that for hours, but she didn't want it to become awkward, for the comfortable and easy feeling to shift.

She found humor in his words, even if @Alaric didn't intend it to be anything but serious. "You are the Mire, the Mire is you. There is nobody else I could think to speak of in regard to this place." She had known others briefly, but those like Violarum had left without a word, a single page in a book.

She would shift then, wishing to look at him head-on, to allow her eyes to meet and hold his own, should he choose to indulge her. "I have.. had a lot of time to think on things of late. I know you will not be around forever, as much as I struggle with that notion. I can't expect you to be my salvation and protection forever. I think.. I should go and find my family. I want to look for my children.. my brothers. I would not go without your blessing though." She might have failed him and others countless times, but she would never just leave without a goodbye.

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this world is dying in our arms

While his lengthy rule at the helm of the Mire was a point of pride for the Starke beast he would not dare take all of the credit. There were many that had stood beside him over the years, and while none had the staying power of the King himself that did not invalidate their efforts. Alaric could not have led the Mire to the expansive and stable pride it was without the members that filled it. There is no point in arguing, though. He only breaths a sigh and lets the conversation shift; @Patchouli was welcome to believe whatever she wished of the stories in the Mire. Especially since it seemed she would not stay any longer, and though he felt sad at the prospect he was not entirely surprised. As Alaric's own reign drew to an inevitable end (his son was young and hungry for the power) he had a feeling that she would not stick around. "If that is what would make you happy," he answers, "then consider this your release." Alaric would not beg her to stay -- he had asked too much of the watercolor girl over the last months. The best thing he could give to her now is her freedom..

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Alaric would grant her freedom, seemingly offering his blessing. She offered a small smile at this, despite not feeling any joy in it. He wanted her to be happy, a phrase he seemed to utter with some frequency. She didn't know if that was something she could really ever be, but perhaps if she put on a brave face and promised she would do her best it might appease him. "I will try to find it.. what you wanted for me since you met me."

She wouldn't waste any more of his time, dipping her head in a deep bow to show her gratitude. "If you ever need anything.. my daughter, Bordeaux, has taken up residence in the place you found me. She has.. far surpassed me as a healer, she is very gifted. She would help you. Goodbye, @Alaric." She offered.

She would turn to leave them, resisting the urge to look behind her, afraid she would lose the will to leave. Would she see Alaric again? The optimist in her said yes, but she knew it was unlikely. There was no knowing how long she would be away from Amaryllis looking, but she would not stop until she found her daughters at the very least.

/ exit Patchouli

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