Easy to avoid her? Nero's expression vanished for a moment as he tried to figure out the best approach to a response. It was clear he wanted to hunt the lioness down and teach her a lesson, but he couldn't exactly stand there and lie directly to Nazonal's face. Eventually, he decided on simply nodding with a smile. "Yep." It would be easy for him to avoid her, but that didn't mean he was going to. The questions Nazonal asked had just enough room for loopholes for him to not lie, but not tell the entire truth either.

Camilla and Alexander. The band was thriving. Nazonal was accomplishing their goals and doing quite well without him. Nero couldn't help but feel jealous. She was surrounded by friends who wanted her to be there, and the albino was living in a constant state of misery. Still, he smiled. "That's great, Naz. Your fathers would be proud of you. I'm proud of you." For whatever that was worth anymore.

The questions shifted to his home life. Nero glanced at his paws and then back to his friend, nodding a bit absently. "They're doing well. Active. Spoiled." Was it wrong that he didn't want to talk about them? "Anyway, what else is new?"

I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard

table by sentinel / art

Yep. Naz blinks once, clearly thinking about the simplistic response for an extra moment before nodding and seeming to be satisfied, trusting he'd behave in his own best interest. Hoping that there was some paternal instinct turned on that might help reign him in.

Nazonal can feel a new kind of swirling warmth in her belly as Nero reacts to the news. He's proud of her. He's proud. Thanks Nero, that means a lot. It's the same area of the Jungle I've always lived in though so like, I haven't gone anywhere. You can still find me whenever. Visits between the two friend had been few and far between as they healed and they hurt, as the world waxed and waned. And oh how she missed him.

There's more you need to know but why are we only talking about me? They can see it, he keeps steering things away from him. They'd commented that he looked like a bump on the log, they talked about her. She asked about his kids, he gives a few words and then asks about her again. Their answer is yes, oh yes was there something new he needed to know. But there was something that they needed to know. They needed to know their friend was ok. Can I ask what was on your mind when I walked up? If the kids were really ok, and she hoped they were, then what had him away from them? Like a boat lost out to sea looking for a lighthouse. Or maybe Naz was the prying one, desperate to hold onto some piece of her friend which she did not deserve to have, to hold a place that wasn't for them anymore.

@Nero

There's more you need to know about me.

His heart sank as if she'd just whipped out the we need to talk card, because in a way, Nero felt she had. The albino lion swallowed hard, anxiety creeping up his spine as his stomach began to twist into knots at whatever Nazonal was about to tell him. He knew what it was, of course. He knew Nazonal was about to tell him that they had moved on, found themselves someone else to be happy with, someone stronger and bigger and far more handsome than shrimpy little Nero. Nazonal would tell him they were finally living the life they wanted all along, that it could have been him living there beside them and not struggling with a crown he didn't even really want that much. Her insistence on talking about him and his problems made him uneasy. Was she avoiding telling him? Then why bother bringing it up in the first place?

"Can you just tell me, please?" Nero asked with a frown, shaking his head. "I need to hear you say it." Before he exploded, before he simply threw himself off the nearest cliff. Why not make things harder by furthering his already awful day? He could feel Nazonal already slipping away from him and they'd only just reunited. Nero sucked in a breath. "Get it over with, please, Naz."

I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard

table by sentinel / art

Fine. She exhales and relents. Although now becoming doubtful that there is any good she can do for him. That they can only hurt him, fail him and any responsibility they had as his friend. It makes it harder but not impossible. Naz has already made up her mind to not leave until she's told him about Sparrow. Sparrow. The small, wonderful beautiful woman. An image of Sparrow springs to mind. With the feeling of that love and warmth Naz found her strength while feeling that presence at her side. They're a strange mix of happy, there is a grin on their lips that can't entirely be hidden, and worried. She anxiously flexes their toes into the sand a few times and take a breath. There isn't hesitation so much in telling him but there is in the details of how. Nazonal would scream from the treetops she was crazy about Sparrow and be unashamed of who heard. But they did not want to hurt Nero, did not want him to think for a second he was not just as loved and valuable to her. I love you, and I need to make sure you to hear it from me first. I found someone, and I really like her Nero. And then they brace, afraid of his reaction, of losing him or what he might be thinking now. Naz has a thousand things more they want to say but their throat is tightening, needing before anything more to let him react as he will to the news.

How badly she hopes that he'll find some way to be okay with it. Naz wants to share with him again the joys and warmth of love. Even if it is not between the two of them. But they can not help the dread that grows, the same that crept up when he first mentioned Ghyslaine, then again as he walked away from their fight, a third time when he told Naz Ghyslaine was pregnant. It was that void of loss, it was losing him. It was an animal that tore them up.

@Nero

Defeated as Nazonal may have felt, Nero wasn't even sure which way was up anymore. Hearing her say that she still loved him made his heart splinter, because how could he say anything other than: "I love you, too." It was the truth. It was the truth and always would be the truth, no matter who she loved in addition to him – or instead of him. But now he saw that he couldn't possibly tell her his problems. Nazonal didn't deserve to hear his petty bullshit when they had finally broken themselves free of it. The mention of another in their life was as strong of a blow as he thought it would be, but Nero knew she wanted her friend. Friends were happy for friends. Friends didn't burden each other and muddy the waters and make things worse.

"I'm happy for you, Naz." And suddenly he felt the protectiveness over them that so many had felt with Ghyslaine, not that it made any of it better.

That was that, then. Nero had made his bed and was now forced to lay in it, to watch the one that got away (that he pushed away) live happily ever after. Of course he wanted that for Nazonal. Of course he wanted them to thrive and flourish and just.. kick all the ass, but it didn't take away the sting of knowing he had been a fucking idiot. He wanted to say something else but didn't trust his own mouth, so he simply smiled and kept his lips pressed together as tightly as physically possible.

I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard

table by sentinel / art

His return affirmation gives her stomach a twist. She'll never not want to hear that, they don't want to stop feeling love for him. But they're so acutely aware now of what felt a hole, of things he was not telling her. That there was something he was hiding, avoiding talking about. Maybe they were wrong to think it was any of their business anyways... Nero. They say his name softly and with urging. Talk to me please. Further silent, feeling heavy weight and conflicting sensations of fire and ice. I'm right here still. They finally find something to say, that this wasn't about replacing him.

He smiled over at her and Naz looked at the strain and tightness of his muscles. Deafening silence and she wanted to shake him so bad. Why when it was most important did both of them seem to fail to talk? Naz, so scared of hurting Nero further, felt a chain and her own lips turn into a sad look. Hesitatingly slow Naz leans in, aiming to wrap both of her forelimbs around him in a hug but ever conscious of his body and movement, ready to cease the hug if he resisted or pulled away. Right here. I'm right here.

Nero desperately wanted Nazonal to keep going. He wanted her to absolutely gush about this new woman in her life, to tell him all of the ways she completed them. More than anything, he wanted the attention to be entirely off of him because that's how it should have been. It wasn't about him, so why did Nazonal insist on making it that way? Nero wasn't exactly demanding the spotlight; in fact, he'd much rather it stay on her. It was what he wanted. It was what she should have wanted.

Saying they were still there for him only made things harder, but he had cried out too much of his tears in the past few hours. Even if he wanted to, there was simply nothing left in reserve.

They pulled him close and he didn't fight it, choosing to melt against them instead. Nero went slack, breathing in their scent and trying not to wrinkle his nose at the other scents mingled with it. He sucked in a breath, torn. What could he say? What could he do? Nothing he said would make it alright. Nothing he said would change things back to the way they were.

"The only time I feel happiness is when I'm with you."

He hoped that said enough.

I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard

table by sentinel / art

It feels like he wilts in her arms, they hold tight. They let their head turn so their cheek is laying on him and their nose is pressed close. She tries not to tease herself but being close, as good as he always smells, she misses doing this. The words that come softly from his lips, his hot breath on their body, are heartbreaking. It opens a world of questions, a vessel of anxiety fills. What's happened with Ghyslaine? Where has his happiness gone and what has she done or not done for her husband? Why was her best friend's life not the dream one he deserves?

It didn't give her the answers about what havoc was being worked upon his mind but it did give her some way to be helpful. That would do for now. I are staying on this beach for however long you want my company then. They sadly knew it couldn't be forever. Someone would come looking for him. Someone else who needed and loved him. There is knowing upon her face even as it was buried away and lost in his pelt, drowning in his scent. I wish I could do more. You are awesome, fantastic, and you deserve to be happy too Nero. There was a time that notion of rewinding would have been a dream. An opportunity to jump on no matter how impossible it was to actually happen. A time when whatever it took to bring him joy they would leap upon. Naz could no longer say that she would take that chance if it came up. That would mean losing Sparrow, maybe never falling head over tail for the enchanting Leopardess. Naz felt that she had to guard her own happiness, guard whatever was blooming between her and Sparrow. But that couldn't be the only way? Her mind wandered without guidance to what might be wrong, to what might fix it, rapidly faces and words flashed before their eyes and all the tighter they held onto Nero.

Someone would come for him eventually, yes, but he knew it would only be to punish him for leaving Ghyslaine alone for however long it took them to stumble across him. Nero could not do anything right in the eyes of her friends and family. He was forced to watch the alleged murderer of his mother interact with his cubs. He was forced to turn his back on everything for a woman who didn't seem eager to give anything up for him. Olive hadn't moved out. Alaric still .. existed, although he hadn't exactly expected anything otherwise. He could still recall what she'd said when he pointed out everything he had given up for her: I didn't ask you to do that. No, she hadn't. But he couldn't help but feel like she should have wanted to give something up for him, to help make him feel at home. It seemed to be all about her and her wants and needs, and Nero knew too damn well that it was his own fault.

Nazonal was going to stay with him for a bit, but Nero didn't think it was wise. The compliments fell on deaf ears and he focused on his breathing instead, trying to convince himself everything would be okay in the end. But it was what he deserved, just like Sparrow was what Nazonal deserved. They didn't deserve his pathetic ass, that was for sure.

Even after saying he only felt happiness with her around, Nero couldn't feel an ounce of anything. He was dead inside and could only mumble a quiet: "yeah" to whatever she had said. He deserved to be happy. He'd heard that a lot. Nero just wasn't sure that was ever going to be in the cards for him. Not anymore.

I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard

table by sentinel / art

That singular word rang like the loudest bell and cut through all of the thoughts that raced through their mind. Hollow and musical, it pulled upon them and she felt emotion over whelm. A tear forged in the fires of her eyes for him, her own helplessness in the situation making things infinitely worse. She felt guilty for her own happiness, the joy she's found and the path that they worked so hard to make ahead of them. They wanted Nero to have the same, if fate should have decided that they were not to be together it should have at least given them the same alternative. Naz thought maybe they should have just waited a bit, or chased after Nero, done any millions of things differently... If only if only. Unable to know for sure what was wrong did not help Naz navigate their own emotions. They felt guilty for this joy but knew there was no way they'd give it up now.

She loosened her grip on Nero and slid her arms down until they were sitting normally once more, the corners of their brown eyes a little damp from the few tears that had escaped. They want to say something, anything, but nothing feels safe to bring up right now. You.. Uh.. yeah... Naz mumbled stupidly and their ears fell down along their skull in frustration. I want you to know too, you make me a better me. I regret a lot but I've never regretted being your friend. And I've missed you.