Time had passed quickly, yet also in many moments of eternity. It was a strange feeling, to find herself in a season of cold once more. Winter would come soon, along with a dusting of snow and ice that would freeze over the mud and stagnant pools. One might even say the mire was beautiful under a blanket of white.

Winter would come with its own issues though, mostly a wilting of important plants she might need to ease the pains of her frailest daughter. Still, she could not fully understand what was wrong with Bordeaux, could only treat the symptoms as they appeared.

Unable to sleep, Patchouli would move outside, careful not to wake the three girls all piled together for warmth. She was happy they all had each other, though it pained her to know they were missing an important figure in their life, even if keeping the truth from them was for their own safety.

Concerned that she might run out of what she needed through the winter, she often lay awake and worry. She would begin to gather various herbs, studying those lesser knowns and even sampling some, be it to taste them or rub them along a small patch of skin to see how they affected her. She would not be satisfied until she had a small mountain of herbs to store away.

MEDIC EXP
+5 Collect herbs
+5 Study the flora of a neutral territory
+5 Test herbs for their healing properties


@Alaric

image by moogle/code by saph

this world is dying in our arms

It had been longer than he would like to admit since he had visited her, unsure how to navigate their relationship on the best of days. Beyond that he had been distracted, busy, and dealing with a double hit of loss that had left him all but crippled. Loss beyond even that, truthfully, as two of his valued members (and trained medics) had all but disappeared. Brynja and Nusura were both gone, and though he could barely muster the desire to emerge from his den he knew it was imperative that he visit Patchouli. If not for himself then for the pride; he was awfully good at putting them first. "Patch," he rumbled as he approached, his voice lackluster and his appearance shockingly... unkempt. He looked more dull than usual, and gone was the usual spark in his eyes. All the same he managed a half smile, fleeting though it may be, and approached without hesitation. Noting the herbs she was collecting he asked -- "are you well?" @Patchouli.

code // art

Worry for the coming winter consumed her thoughts as she moved along, picking anything of value, even if she was already well stocked with the plant in question, or when there were more valuable plants that could be used in their stead. She seemed convinced there just simply would not be enough to last into the spring. Given how terrible last spring had proven, she couldn't be sure the strange weather would not return.

So distracted, she didn't even notice the king casually sauntering in her direction and speaking her name. She would noticeably finch and draw in a sharp breath as he addressed her, looking up at him with wide startled eyes. "My king." She responded, dipping her head in a respectable bow, and while her body would rise again, her eyes would remain low, for the most part, catching only the smallest glimpses of his aged face. How could he have aged so rapidly in such a short period of time? Was he unwell? Had something awful happened to him in the last months?

"I.. am as well as can be expected. I only hope I will have enough herbs to keep Bor.. my daughter.. feeling well." She explained, stopping herself from speaking the name, not expecting he was familiar with their names. She wanted to ask him how he was, but would he be insulted if she asked him ill if he might not be.

@Alaric

image by moogle/code by saph

With her there was always a lingering feeling of guilt. Alaric often felt he should have done more for her, been more for her, and most of all kept her safe from the trials of the world. Sometimes he imagined she would have been much better off in another pride, one where she could flourish and grow without being bogged down by his... crap.

The more selfish part of him would not want to see her leave, not ever, even if it meant they existed in this awkward orbit for the rest of their days. He remembered her kindness, her gentleness, and yet now it only brings a sharp ache to his chest as it stirs memories of others.

Patch deserved more -- and yet here he came to not give but to take. To ask for her to give more to this pride that he did not think she cared much for, though he hoped she was at least content.

"Is she not well?" The guilt washed over him again, fierce and smothering, reminding him that he had not been a good King in days of late. "I am sorry I have been... absent. I..." But he swallows the words and glances away, struggling to find the fortitude to speak his grief out loud.

coding and art by dusk

Alaric never ceased to amaze Patchouli in his concern for her. A king had more important things to do than fret over a lowly little lioness like herself. Perhaps it would make more sense if she was one of his many mates, but she had chosen against being one. It was selfish of her really, even if she tried to justify it to him or to herself. There was some justification in the end, as at least one of her cubs had proven tiny and fragile, hardly the sort he might claim to want carrying on his bloodline. She could not give him warriors, even if deep down he might find a great attachment to a child more like her.. one who needed him more than a stronger child might.

@Alaric would ask about the girl, his tone strangely apologetic for something that was not his to apologize for. She was born weak.. she has days where she is.. lethargic. I keep her strength up and dull any little aches or pains. She is determined though.. she does not let her weakness stop her. She said, a motherly pride in her tone. Some would only fall into despair or self-loathing in such a state. Bordeaux always smiled, was the one to encourage her mother that everything was going to be ok.

She would look at the male more directly now, examining his weary face, the faded glimmer in his gaze. Something must have happened that caused him heartache, which was proof enough that there was a gentle soul buried within his rough exterior. She would not ask him, only offer an expression she often showed to her children, one of warm eyes and a delicate smile. A silent show of love and devotion, a promise that she was there if they needed her.

image by moogle/code by saph

Alaric of old would have killed the girl, no questions asked. In his homeland life was much more difficult, and those that could not keep up were disposed of. Patchouli had worried she would bear weak children and it would seem her worries were valid. There is little he can do for the girl, though, and so he only says -- "I should like to meet her one day." Maybe it is a lie to make her mother feel better, but he speaks it easily enough so perhaps there is some truth there.

Patch looks at him, then, with an expression he cannot entirely unravel. It is nice, pleasant, but he shifts uneasily beneath the brilliance of it. Too nice, maybe, for one such as himself.

Clearing his throat he glanced awkwardly at his paws, shoving aside any lingering thoughts of his loss while trying to focus to the future. "I'm not sure if you noticed... Nusura and Brynja both have gone missing..." He wasn't really sure how else to begin, or how to ask her for any more when she likely had her paws full.

"I'd like you to be our lead medic." No better way to ask than getting straight to the point... right?

coding and art by dusk

What would @Alaric think of Bordeaux if he should meet her in person? Patchouli imagined he would realize her value if coming across her on a good day. When she was not feeling drained and unwell she was relentless in her quest for knowledge. Already the lioness could envision her daughter overtaking her in healing prowess soon. Alaric's words would give her pause though, expressing uncertainty despite efforts not to. Part of her didn't think he would want to meet her, that to him she was just a reminder of an enemy and of Patchouli's unwillingness to give him cubs a long while back. "I told them to stay out of everyone's way, but if you should call on them, I am sure they would come forward if you so desire." Did he though? It would be hard to miss the doubt in her expression, paired with something hopeful.

In a strange twist, it would be Alaric that would avert his eyes from her. She didn't know what to make of this when it was coming from him. Was he ashamed? Did he dislike her looking at him in such a manner? She would frown, but only briefly given his breaking the awkward silence. His sorrow was palpable, but she didn't think the absence of previous healers could affect him so much. This seemed more like how he had been when he lost his mate and queen.

He wished for her to be the pride healer, she could not deny him if that was what he wanted for her in exchange for the food and protection he provided her. "Whatever you wish of me Alaric. I do not pretend to be a skilled healer, but I will do what little I am capable of." She assured him quietly. After a moment she would speak again, eyes moist and apologetic, though she would not shed tears. "I only wish I could mend a broken soul. I am sorry there is nothing I can do to mend yours. Whatever it is that has caused you such grievance.. it grieves me too." She could just ask what was wrong she supposed, but it was not her place to ask him either.

image by moogle/code by saph

It wasn't exactly unwise to tell her cubs to lay low, though he was surprised by it all the same. While Alaric knew that his brood could be temperamental there were some among them that were not, some that could perhaps even be friends for Patchouli's children. He wants to tell her that they are not all monsters to be avoided, but he bites his tongue for now, not wanting to push too much. Nor to show her how it wounded him that she thought them all so... unreasonable. Luther, maybe, but the rest?

"Perhaps with more experience your skills will grow," practice made perfect after all, "but I am sure you are more than sufficient." Anything was better than nothing, and while he wished to see Nusura reappear he had faith that @Patchouli could keep them all alive just the same.

Her latter comments make him tense, and he glances back at her almost sharply. Was he that obvious in his grief? Damnit all to hell he knew he was, but it still frustrated him to have it brought to attention. "Time is the best healer," he huffed, torn between appreciation for her and her kindness and annoyance that he is seen as so 'broken.' "Rest assured I will keep the Mire as safe as always." In case she had any worries about that he sought to put them to rest.

coding and art by dusk

Perhaps she was out of line to try and offer the king comfort in exchange for his showing what he would perceive as a weakness in front of her. Alaric must have others he would rather confide in, such as his queen. His unwillingness to share it with her was his choice and she could not question it, even if she felt a pang of rejection from it.

She only wanted him to feel better.. for his own sake. Talking was sometimes a way to mend sooner, where time was a slow healer if it healed at all. It was not the cure for all things despite what others might tell you. It was not a friend to those whose ache was loneliness. For Patchouli, she found it only left her more hollow with each passing day, questioning her worth and if she even deserved her share of happiness.

"You give the Mire too much credit. It isn't the Mire that took me in, and looked in on me when I was weak from childbirth. Nobody else here has shown me the compassion and welcome that you did @Alaric. I do not offer my loyalty to this place, I offer it to you." The whole of the Mire could sink into the ocean for all she cared, so long as Alaric was alright.

"I will be your healer.. but.. if the time comes that my children wish to leave the Mire, I ask that you be open to letting me go. I will always be here for you, but perhaps it will be from somewhere else." Her pride didn't matter to her, nor had anyone else here given her reason to think it should. Her children deserved the chance to decide for themselves what home should be for them.

image by moogle/code by saph

"You could have friends here, Patchouli." The if you tried was left unspoken, if only because it felt unnecessary. From where he was sitting she hadn't made much of an effort to make friends, and he worried for the isolation she seemingly imposed on herself. He worried, too, that it would extend to her children, which he had seen so little of. "I value your loyalty, truly, but I wish there were others here that you cared for." He was hardly worthy of being everything to her, let alone anything.

Though she accepted the role he had requested her to take he found himself frowning at her... stipulations. "I do not wish for you to leave." He was honest, then, peering down at the tiny medic with a glint of the fondness he felt for her. "Children eventually leave the nest; that does not mean you would have to leave, too."

Even as he suggested it he had the sneaking suspicion that she would be the kind of mother that hovered -- he kept to himself just how bad of an idea he thought that would be.

@Patchouli

coding and art by dusk