"I usually haven't had to think too much about what my decisions would mean...but.." She frowned, looking out at the lagoon, with the stars reflected in the surface before turning her attention towards the silver female. "I have things that are new to me.. all this time I've dealt - done what had to be done to raise my cubs.. Surviving.. We've never had a true 'home' always moving, always walking.. Always riding the edge of starvation.. Now.. I have a home - I've carved a place for us.. but." She pawed lightly at the ground beneath her feet. "It was someone else's home before I claimed it. Another group of lions have called this place their home for generations and I carved a piece of it for myself.. without asking. And when I found out I started to wonder if I had done the right thing...And..with...Durius." Jewel looked at the silver female, feeling like she could tell her anything - and swallowed her fears back. It wasn't a fear of talking to her.. but a fear of saying too much. "He....makes me feel things that I'm not used to feeling... and It scares me.. truthfully. I'm not used to feeling things for anyone...and now I don't just have feelings for one other but.. I have feelings for others and I just don't know what to do about it. Seeing..what you've gone through and I just.. I can't... I can't.. pledge myself to one other." Cerulean eyes looked towards @Pistis and she sighed. "I don't know what to do...Durius wants me with him and I don't ...I can't be with him in the way he wants. I can't be his only. I won't tie myself to one lion- I can't." She was rambling, and she didn't know why she was rambling. Well, she did. She was nervous as hell and just had no idea what to say, how to approach the topic. "I know that it's normally the 'males' that take multiple mates.. and if a woman takes multiple mates it's bad. So does.. it make me a bad female because I feel for multiples? Because I have feelings for Durius and for you and for Vysemala?" She froze when her tirade grew and she gulped.""

irish

Pistis listened and nodded along. She’d had a home, once. When she was young. But after her escape? She’d lived much like Jewel. She was still rather skinny from living between meals constantly. It had been hard enough for one, she couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for both Jewel and her litters. Natives? How interesting. She paused to think what she would have felt if strangers had come into her home. It would be... intimidating. Not to mention she’d be worried they didn’t respect her family and their culture. “I think... in cases like this... you must just- do your best to do right by the natives. If they explain you have done something wrong, you have to try the hardest possible within your power to fix it.” The dark woman speaks of Diuris and Pistis pauses. Nervously. Had he told her Pistis’ feelings towards him? Yikes. She hoped this didn’t go badly. She explains her polygamous heart and Pistis’ ear twitches. Oh. So... Diuris was in love with her... but she was not as enamored with him. Then the truth comes. Pistis’ face seems to come to a eureka moment. Oh. That... made sense. Aphrodite, why have you cursed her to be so ignorant? Pistis takes a deep breath. “It’s not... ‘bad’ for a woman to have multiple mates. Men only say that because they want purebred litters. It’s just something they make up.” She shrugs, “in my home men primarily had polygamous marriages, yes, but women also had multiple husbands and sometimes a wife. I was raised around multiple aunts and uncles.” Pistis is saying this mostly to assure her that she does not judge her. “I erm... I have always found you beautiful. I love your personality. I just... assumed you only like men.” So she’d blocked off any part that was attracted. “I... also have feelings for Diuris... and some part of me has feelings for you, too.” She admits suddenly. Egged on by the other woman’s admission. “I’ve never been in a committed relationship with a woman, though.” She thinks before finishing off, “I could grow more attached to you, if we tried it out. But I had just sort of... prevented myself from seeing you as a possible partner.” Pistis and her assumptions. @Jewel

There was a moment where the ebony queen wanted to go bury her skull in the sand. She waited for @Pistis to shun her for her words, muscles tensed, body poised to turn and flee - to run from the lagoon with a hastily whispered apology. When the silver lady spoke, Jewels lips curved slightly, cerulean gaze turning to meet dual tones of pink and blue. Ears that had been slung against her skull shifted when the female explained that it wasn't uncommon but it wasn't truly common either. She spoke of her thoughts that Jewel being beautiful and she felt her heart leap to her throat. In the same breath, the female continued on that she had assumed Jewel to be into the male gender. Which.. she wasn't.. entirely wrong. Her words turned to speak of Durius and what the silver female felt for him as well and Jewel chuckled, shifting her skull to stare silently at the stars overhead. "He calls me his 'moon'... yet I feel that title fits you much better than me." Jewel was the dark of night to Pistis's silver light. Still.. she could tell that the other female ... not that she didn't feel the same, but she felt 'new' to the idea. Jewel knew that she had done a good job of hiding her flowering affections for the lady. "I hadn't been sure of whether or not my.. affections would be welcome. I didn't wish to tie myself to Gwyn... and.." What if he returned? He would surely seek out his mate. Jewel swallowed, her heart hammering in her throat for another reason. "I kept things to myself.. I didn't wish to burden you with such worries. Not when you're already dealing with enough. But.. You're my friend first and foremost - and I wouldn't want to ruin that just because I can't control my feelings." There were things left unsaid, but she wanted to feel things out. Never before had the ebon lady been so worried about what another would think of her. "Durius...wants more of me than I can give to him. Because I can't give everything I am to just.. one." and she felt guilty. What if Vysemala, or Pistis wanted the same? What if they wanted all of her? What if ... none of them wanted just the pieces she was willing to give?""

irish

Pistis’ mouth curled up at her words. True enough, she supposed. “I said upon our first meeting you were much like Artemis. But I now feel Nyx is a better deity to compare you to. She was the night itself, she was beautiful and powerful enough to scare the king of the Gods, Zeus.” Much more like Jewel, she thought. She had strength, but she used it for the right reasons. She was sure Jewel intimidated many, made them uncomfortable, just for being a woman in power. At the mention of Gwyn again, and eyebrow would raise. “He wouldn’t really be ‘tied’ to you. We agreed months ago that I was free to pursue women if I wished. He wouldn’t interfere with us.” She explained calmly, to reassure Jewel. Pistis would make it apparent Jewel was unavailable to him, too. “We don’t have to worry about that, though. He hasn’t returned.” Surely he would have by now? “No matter what happens, you will still be my friend, Jewel.” This much she was sure of. They got along too well to let any romantic feelings to get in the way. At least to her. “You already know I am polygamous, I don’t expect all of you. Whatever you’re willing to share, I will be happy with,” maybe a tad bit of excitement tinging her voice. It had been a while since she’d dated, truthfully. “You must tell Diuris how you feel... don’t leave him wondering, I think he will just blame himself if you do that.” @Jewel

A flush colored her cheeks as the ebon female was likened to 'nyx'. "I..don't know much about the gods and goddesses - so I wouldn't know much of that.. I just feel that your pelt shimmers much more like the moon than mine does ... It...it's fitting." She mumbled, scuffling a paw in the dirt.

Jewel listened to her friend, a smile touching her lips as she nodded. "I hope.. we can remain friends even if nothing changes between us. I value your company and the time we spend together..." Perhaps she would just know that @Pistis returned some of her feelings. The lioness grinned when the female spoke to her of telling Durius of her feelings and the female sighed, eyes lowering to the ground. She was running the gambit of emotions today it seemed..

"I'm not used to blathering about my emotions..Thank you for listening.." Jewel chuckled, her tails flickering near her ankles, ears falling to either side of her skull. "I...How do I tell him? He's so..." She sighed, looking up towards the stars overhead. "He's so... open with his emotions and I feel guilty that I can't reciprocate to the extent that he would want."

"speech"

Pistis smiled at her sheepishness, perhaps she was laying it on a bit much, no? But she had to agree with her, Pistis was the moon and Jewel was the night, the two went together, that much was undeniable. A nod at her words, “of course.” Friends they had been first, of course, this changed nothing. What was better than having your best friend as a lover. She couldn’t think of anything to top that, truly. At the mention of her emotions, Pistis leaned forward, eyes crinkling, “I think it’s only fair,” a slight indication of her head, “you’ve heard plenty of my sob stories after all, Jewel.” All accentuated with a wink. But still is was clear the snowy woman was happy. She wouldn’t mind hearing more of what Jewel felt and thought, honestly. Pistis sighs heavily, “that I cannot help you with, I’m not the best at telling people what I want,” she always waited, hoped they would say what she wished to. But she shrugged, “I think he values honesty, and you don’t want to lead him on-“ she paused, “well, make him think you’re leading him on, forever.” A smile was offered. @Jewel

She sighed, frowning slightly at the thought and feeling her heart stuttering in her breast. A quick tempo, staccato of fear. What if he got upset? What if he showed his true colors? Jewel was worried about it, truthfully - but she wasn't sure what to do about it. The ebony queen rumbled a sound of frustration, ears folding over her skull. "I will have to find him soon.. I admit - the idea of telling him that I can't return what he feels in that capacity.. I am worried."

After all, where her feelings for @Pistis had sort of evolved through multiple visits and talks, what she had felt for Durius happened swiftly and it was concerning. If something that started so quickly could turn into something real or was it simply the fleeting glance of a meteor in spring? "How have things been here...? Since you came? How are your children?" The lioness wanted to know if there were things she could do for the silver lady, a lioness as close to her heart as few others managed to get.

"speech"

Pistis nodded. Yes, it was terrifying to tell a man you weren’t interested. Especially if you’d been through abuse yourself. There was always a risk. “If be reacts badly? I will know not to waste my time on him.” She assures the woman, “and we’ll make sure he gets what is coming.” If she had to fight for her friends she would. Ladies needed to stick together. Especially when she and her were doing... whatever this was. Whatever they felt for each other. Pistis thought for several moments. “I quite like it here. I get along with everyone quite well...” did she admit what she wanted to? “I erm... met my son I thought died, when he was young. He’s a year old now.” Her voice was quiet. It was hard to even say anything about it. She felt a guilt from that. She wanted him to get to know his siblings... but he didn’t seem too willing. @Jewel

Overrun, you're under the gun

Sound the drum, the Great War has come

@Pistis spoke of Durius reacting badly, and Jewel honestly couldn't think of such a thing from the male. "I don't see him... acting poorly - I just worry that I will hurt his feelings that I can't return his feelings the way he wants me to... Is all." She did care for the golden lion - but what she felt for Pistis was... different. It had shown her a few things and made the female truly begin to wonder if there was something wrong with her.

Ears would fold over her skull before she frowned, a soft sigh touching her lips. When Pistis spoke of her son, JEwel lifted her skull and searched the dual-toned optics of her silver friends and frownd, reaching out, attempting to place a paw over the other females. "Is...is..he okay?" The way the silver lady spoke had her ears tilting towards her in curiosity. Pistis had made it sound like she'd had no children - outside of those that Gwyn had and she's sort of adopted.. but.. To find that she had one?

Shouldn't she be elated? Excited? But, she wasn't, and the female cleared her throat softly - biting back any words she wanted to spit out - the rapid fire questions until Pistis answered.. She knew better than to pry in such things... And JEwel curled her tails around her paws, hoping to gently brush the tips against the silver hide in comfort.

Code by Corvus.. Image (C)jean wimmerlin @Unsplash. Manip by Tabs

Pistis hummed in agreement at her initial statement. She agreed that he probably wouldn’t react badly, and would just be hurt. But you never quite knew, did you? Until it happened, anyways. Jewel was different for Pistis, too. Because for one, she’d been mostly oblivious. For another... well there was a lot less jealousy from Jewel. Compared to Gwyn. They understood each other. Understood they’d have other partners, and they were okay with that. There was also that bond and trust of friendship, too. At the question about her son, she sort of shrugged and then nodded. “Another woman has been his mother this past year. He’s angry with me... but I hope he comes back around. If not for me than for his siblings.” she waited for the questions she knew would come. Would she have to tell that story for a third time? She wouldn’t really mind to tell Jewel, honestly. @Jewel