Manes had sought him out? Hecuba glanced up at him, more surprised at that than anything else. She wondered quietly if he had done it for her, but she knew he had. They both had. They both wanted what was best for her, even if they thought the other wasn't. She was lucky to have them, weirdly enough.

Her ears flattened briefly against her head. "I can't be your wife anymore. I won't let your alliance with Gwyn put a target on my back.. and I won't watch you die in a war he's incited, either. My heart can't take more loss." Drakon being alive now did minimal to take away from the fact he had died at all; she was still grieving for him, too. "I'm sorry, Drakon." Hecuba moved to her feet and looked at him, struggling to meet his gaze and hold it.

_^DEEJ

Her words hit him like a brick wall and Drakon blinked at her. He had given up so much for her. He turn mono. He had promised to not take on another wife. She had been his only one and now; she was walking away. Just like that. But how could he reassure her that being an ally with Gwyn is going to not put a target on her back. What happened to the woman he had fallen in love with? Fiery jewels looked at her then, and the emotions that he always hid so well were there. He was heart broken. "After everything..." His voice cracked then, and he felt weak. Drakon's legs felt weak. "I know I was in the wrong to assume anything happened with you and Manes at the fight, and I apologize for that. I know I shouldn't have allied myself so closely to the Casimir.." But what did she want him to do?! His voice was shaking and the words nearly choking him.

image by frida bredesen | art by irish

After everything.

Yeah, after everything.

Hecuba struggled with herself as he spoke to her; the emotion was plain on his face. The pain was plain on his face. She didn't know what to tell him that would make anything better because in the end, Hecuba was simply afraid. Her heart was so bogged down with grief it was difficult to see another way to do things. Hecuba did what she could to stay there, but it took every fiber of her being not to flee. "I'm sorry I've ruined so much of your life. You could have had five wives and thirty cubs by now, but you settled for a woman who can't even keep two alive." Her claws flexed into the dirt. "You have a second chance. Hanneth gave you a second chance. Live it how you want to live it, Drakon. We have no children tying us together anymore.. you can have a clean slate." Hecuba clenched her teeth and lowered onto her belly, sitting like a sphinx with a single paw touching the surface of the water. In the end, she was only trying to help him.

_^DEEJ

Ruined his life? Yes, Drakon could have all of those things that she spoke of. And so much more if he had chosen other wise but he hadn't. Drakon had done those things for a reason. Had married her. Just her, for a reason. She was - and still is - everything he had looked for in a wife. Hecuba hadn't left him with his children. Hadn't abandoned her crown whenever she got the chance. That had proven so much to Drakon. "I could have but I didn't want to.." The words sounded numb to the ringing in his ears as he watched her, though he looked away. This pain. It hurt. Was this how Mother was when she had lost Smaug? "We have the boy you found.." Even that stung. He had grown fond of him in the short amount of time he had been around him. Drakon wanted to go to her, to comfort her, to do everything he had ever done to keep her happy but he was frozen in place and everything hurt.

image by frida bredesen | art by irish

He wasn't making it easy, not that she expected him to. Not that she wanted it. Not that she wanted any of this. She felt the same wave of panic wash over her again, constrict her heart and lungs. Her breathing was quick, rough, almost like she was gasping for air as she tried to stop it all from hurting. Why wouldn't it stop hurting? She just wanted it to stop. All of it.

Drakon pointed out the cub, the little boy. It was because of her fear of losing that child and refused to be part of the testosterone wars. Hecuba put her paws over her face, talons extended just enough to prick the skin as though she was trying to hang on for dear life. She said nothing, just let the panic wash over her until she was trembling.

_^DEEJ

She was silent and something just didn't feel right. Drakon moved closer then and aimed to brush against her in reassurance. He would lay there next to her but if she wanted to move he wouldn't stop her. His jaw opened up but snapped shut as he couldn't think of anything to say. Last time they had gotten into a fight he hadn't comforted and that put a rift between them, so Drakon wasn't going to do that again but his fiery jewels looked down at his own ashen paws as he tried to figure out what to say and he just couldn't. He was in pain, not physically but mentally and emotionally and it was all new to him.

image by frida bredesen | art by irish

He moved to sit beside her and she turned to bury her face into his mane, unable to prevent herself from seeking comfort in his touch. Drakon had always been her constant companion and life, but now she didn't know whether or not it was possible to continue. Still, she didn't prevent herself from sobbing against him in a vague attempt to heal the wounds. "My little girls," she murmured, pressing herself against him as though she could bring them back the closer she was. "My little girls are gone." And the emotions came to a head then and there as she broke into tears, finally letting herself sob openly and properly grieve for the amount of loss she had endured in the past few months.

She pressed herself against him and fiery jewels looked over to her as she broke down into his mane. Slowly, Drakon raised an arm and moved to place it over her shoulders aiming to hold her close. "They.. they aren't gone.. I mean.. I know they aren't here but they are some where.." He would begin but hesitant on really what to say so instead Drakon ended up sighing. "I know you may think that you are a terrible mother for the girls not being here but that is far from the truth. You are an amazing mother. An amazing wife. One day.. The girls may return and if they do then we will be here to welcome them home. If they don't just believe that they are safe. That they are exploring the world and growing stronger for it." He would whisper to her. "I'm sorry I wasn't much help getting out of the valley, Hecuba.. I am sorry for everything that I wasn't good at doing." He didn't feel like the best husband.

Hecuba felt security she hadn't in weeks as he embraced her, the weight of his leg enough to anchor her into place. It was unbecoming of the queen to sob, but the stress and grief of the last few weeks was an indescribable weight. She cried against her husband's shoulder, only reining it in when he began speaking. Hecuba listened quietly, lifting her head from his side in order to look up at him with blurry eyes. He apologized for everything and she shook her head. All he ever did was apologize. "You don't think they're dead," she asked, looking hopeful. "I lost them as the rogues attacked.. I.. they have to be dead, don't they?" Her ears flattened against her head. They could return. Yeah, she.. she guessed it was possible. Hecuba pressed back against him, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I love you so much, I.. losing you and the girls just.. I'm so scared." Terrified would have been the right word, but she didn't care.

She pulled from him and looked at him with hope in her eyes and in her voice. "I don't think they are dead. They could have easily gotten out.. That's how I cope with their absence. I don't think on the negative, but the positive. If they aren't here then they are some where safe and that's good enough for me." He tried really hard to believe it. "They don't have to be dead, sweetheart." Drakon knew that with their absence it was impossible to think otherwise but still; he had hope. "I love you to, Hecuba. I'm scared too I just show it differently. I didn't know what would happen to any of you if I hadn't won but I had to believe that you would be alright..." It was true. Drakon was terrified but he just couldn't bring himself to admit it in the beginning.