hi friends :’)

i’ll try and keep this short and sweet — after a lot of contemplation I have decided that I will be going on hiatus and taking a step back from writing and my role as Admin. Over the summer, I’m sure many of you noticed that I was scarcer than usual — it wasn’t intentional, but I noticed during this time that my body was cravinggggg a break from online. and staffing. and writing in general.

I love Amaryllis and feel so grateful to have founded and Admin’d on this site for the last four years (!!), but I also need to look out for myself and listen to the indicators that I’ve been ignoring for a long time. I unfortunately do not feel that I am in a position to properly serve the community anymore, and have reached the end of my mental, emotional, and physical bandwidth. Years of staff work and constantly being go-go-go on-site has finally caught up to me — especially considering I have never taken a real and authentic break during this time. This was not an easy decision to make (and I still feel like it may be the wrong one if I’m being honest), but it just doesn’t feel sustainable at the moment. I can’t be fully present and it’s having an effect on my real life too; and so, in fairness to myself and all of you, I think this is the right choice.

We have experienced a lot together over the years — so much good and happiness that I am grateful for, and also some not-so-good moments that comes with life, and learning, and growth. There are limits to what I can do and what I can give, and I realized that that is okay ♡ It’s time for me to take a break, as I have always encouraged my fellow Staff members to do when they needed it.

I’d ask that in my absence to remember to be kind to each other and have patience with the Staff team, especially during this transition period. I am leaving you in good hands that are eager and dedicated to continue making this a great community and place to write. It is not an easy feat (as we all know) and is, by the nature of the work itself, a large reason as to why my emotional bandwidth has run dry. On top of my real life job, commitments, relationships, and hobbies, this is a second full-time volunteer position that I just can’t commit myself to anymore, at least for the time being. I really really hate to let you guys down, so I am sorry for that.

You are all so special and deserve to enjoy the site, express yourself, and use this as an outlet for your creativity. At the end of the day, we are all human, so please treat everyone as such — and that includes being kind to yourself, too! Take this as a reminder that it’s okay to make space for breaks and breathing room. It’s something that is so easy to forget but is so important.

I hope that I will be back, maybe around the new year, maybe sooner, maybe later. I love my characters, and all of yours, and apologize for the IC plots and relationships that will be impacted by my absence. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from. Below you’ll see what can ICly be assumed about my characters to explain them vanishing during my hiatus.

I’ll be staying in the server and hanging around until the Staff team is able to rejig and finalize some things, and my DMs will always be open if anyone wants to connect <3

With lots of love!!! Ttyl ✨

— Squid

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@Delphine — Angry towards her family and feeling unheard/disregarded with their ongoing strife, Delphine vanished from Wolfbron Bluffs under the cover of night. If desired, @Lazare could have known in advance that Delphine was leaving in search of answers about their family, knowing that she would not get it in Amaryllis.

@Voluspa — While praying to Vellen at Stygian Shore, Voluspa was swallowed and swept away by a sudden gargantuan wave. Her body was not recovered. If desired, @Khal and @Dresden could have witnessed this happen.

@Tove — After witnessing her mother’s tragedy, Tove left Amaryllis in search of Voluspa’s body, thinking that it may possibly be on another shoreline. She would have told @Khal and @Dresden that she was leaving to do this.

@Arduinna — Upset by her father’s treatment of her mother and him abandoning Andal Oasis, Arduinna left Amaryllis out of spite. If desired, she could have told @Brighid ♔ of her ire and promised to return to support her reign in Illyria Summit.

@Piatra — Wanting to revisit her homeland, @Neytiri took Piatra and her brother Ateyo to visit, giving them a chance to see what’s beyond Amaryllis.

I'm really sad you'll be away but also I respect the decision a lot!!! I hope your time away is great

gonna miss you squid ♡

@Squid Thank you for being my partner in building the site. Thank you for all your support with the site and personal things. You came on to the Sr Staff team on Val as the fires were burning bright and you stepped into the role of founding a new site with such grace. You will always have a place here, and I do hope that we see you back and able to enjoy the site. I will miss you deeply. It has been an honor to learn from you. <3 I wish you all the relaxing and enjoying what life has to bring you. I love you!!!

Members,
I know you are all going to miss Squid too. <3

There will be some changes and shifting around on the staff team as we move forward and adjust to things. We will need your support as we move through this change. Things may be a bit slower but we hope to keep the site and community moving together.

Some areas that we will be making changes to are, adding more members to the co-admin team to help with the pressure. This means that we will be adding new sr staff as well so we are going to need more staff members to help fill in the holes. If you have some time to give to the site, please apply to be a part of the staff team.

We will be pausing the use of the suggestion bot until sometime in the new year. This is to allow for training of the new staff in their new positions and to allow everyone to settle in. The minor suggestion form will remain open and reviewed as time allows.

We will still be focusing on finishing up the trade system, the guidebook, BWPs and raids.

There may be more changes ahead but we will announce those once they have been planned out.

I, personally, will be looking at ways to build in more downtime for myself because I am tired as well and I want to make sure that I am able to give you all that you need without needing to step away fully. This site takes a lot emotionally and mentally and I want to make sure that I am finding a better balance.

Please know that I will do everything I can to keep the site moving forward. I have faith in the community and the staff team.

Please wish Squid the best in her downtime. <3

good wishes and fair sails! thank you for everything you've done and I hope you enjoy your time away and one day come back recharged and refreshed.

We love you squid <3 we'll miss you and your impeccable writing every moment until you return! I promise you all the threads when the time comes X3 until then, please enjoy your much needed time of rest and know we care about you!

Oh sweetest Squiddy, I'm honestly just incredibly grateful for the amazing work both you and Ice have put into the site. And while I've not known you for as long as others have, I've only ever known you as a hard working and incredibly sweet person with a beautiful creative mind.

You will absolutely be missed and you can always reach out to me over Discord if you need someone to talk to ♥

But taking care of yourself is the most important thing and I hope you can find the time and peace that you need to fully recharged yourself and focus on the good things in life ♥

Dear Squid,

I hope during your hiatus that you're able to take care of yourself, first and foremost, and enjoy life outside of this realm, and can't wait to hear of any exciting adventures you might have.

There's a level of compassion and empathy you exhibit for this community which comes from a deep understanding and connection that I try to emulate. I've always admired that quality about you, being able to see everything from different angles and empathize with any individual whether you agreed or disagreed with something. That's also admirable, and I hope people in the community felt these qualities from you.

I've never gotten to actually role-play with you (funny enough) but I hope in the future if you find yourself reinvigorated for writing these unique and interesting stories we all create together that I get more of an opportunity to write with you.

There's so much gratitude I have for your role in making this place, and I'm thankful you were able to help establish Amaryllis and shape it for what it is. Thank you for the selflessness you've put into the community, even when it was hard, and for looking out for each and every one of us members. It's been a pleasure serving on staff under you.

Sincerely,
Wallflower

Thank you for all your help throughout the years. You have always taken the negativity and the pressure of being an admin with the utmost grace. Amaryllis has never deserved you as a leader, but we are so blessed we had you. <3

Oh Squid <3 you are so special, and even though I know you'll be back sooner than we know, your absence is going to be sorely missed in the meantime. Please enjoy your well-deserved break, my friend, and know that the sparklelion crew will be eagerly awaiting your return - whenever you choose that it may be.

We'll make sure not to burn down the place while you're gone :3